One hundred and twelve- His happiness

One hundred and twelve- His happiness
SARAH PIERCE

“Uh…”

Nathaniel’s hesitation was clear. So, I lifted my head and said, “We were bound to talk about it sooner or later, Nathaniel.”

“I know, but-”

“I know I can never forget what he did to me. I doubt I can forgive it either. However, I am still healing and as much as possible, I want my healing to be super firm. Maybe talking about it will help me.”

“But there’s nothing much I wish to say about that, my love.”

“I wish I had questioned his identity when he pretended to be you in the hospital.” The air turned heavy as I sat up. Nathaniel did the same seconds later. “That was what I often thought while I was in the hospital.”

“You didn’t know, Sarah.”

“Exactly. I can’t blame myself for what happened. Learning that I shouldn’t blame myself took a while, Nathaniel. But I’m glad it didn’t take longer.” My hands rested in his, and I smiled. “When I remember how he took Rosaline’s life, or even any of the crazy stuff he did, I blame myself less. Then, I feel sorry for you.”

“Huh?”

“You also had to face a hard time, Nathaniel. But most of the time, I can’t tell what you’re thinking regarding that man. Even your father, who masterminded everything, you never talk about him.” I leaned closer. “Nathaniel.” And my palm rested on the middle of his chest. “Are you still blaming yourself?” His brows twitched with an unclear expression. “Are you in pain?”

“Sarah.” His hand rested on mine. “I am not.”

“You are not?” I asked to make sure. 

“I was in pain when you were. But now that you smile so beautifully, my aches have disappeared.”

“And you don’t blame yourself?”

A pause replied to me. Then, he exhaled and answered, “I still do. Sometimes. Because it remains true that a lot of things went wrong in your life because of me and those around me.”

“Thaniel.” I shifted and wrapped my arms around his neck, my breasts dangling before him as I looked down. “Maybe angry Sarah from the past would have agreed with that. But weren’t you the one who told me that we have a love that overcomes? Can our love overcome the fault you think you have?”

His smooth touch gripped my waist, and every part of me felt mushy and amazing. 

“Could it?” he asked. 

“I want it to. I am glad I make you happy. But I also want you to be happy, independent of my happiness.”

A frown creased his forehead. “You’ve been worried about that?”

“Nathaniel, promise me you will blame yourself less. Promise you will allow any sore spots in your heart to heal, no matter how long it may take.”

“Sarah.” He didn’t seem hesitant anymore, but he paused to watch every blink of my eyes. “I admit I have been trying to evade that aspect of our lives. But I don’t think I’m ready.”

“Whenever you are ready, Nathaniel,” I concurred. “There’s no rush.”

“I’ll try, my love.” My belly soon felt the warmth of his face. “I’ll try.”

“Nathaniel, do you-”

The ring of his phone interrupted my words. 

“You won’t check who it is?” I asked as he hugged me tighter. 

“I don’t care for it.”

“I think you shouldn’t ignore it.” I glanced at the phone, which was next to the baby monitor.

With a groan, he reached for the phone.

“Ray,” he said to the other end. And seconds later, he ended the call and faced me. “Your mother sent a video.”

“Really? Just a video? Where has she been? Is she fine?”

“We need to watch the video to get an answer,” he answered as he gently separated our bodies and reached for his iPad from his wardrobe. As he moved, my eyes enjoyed the view of his butt, which flexed muscles quite sexily. 

“Here we go,” he soon perched next to me, and after some clicks, there was truly a video of my mother waiting to be played. 

“You can play it,” I said to Thaniel, who had paused to confirm if I was ready. 

‘Sarah, my beautiful daughter.’ It was easy to tell that the smile in her eyes was fake. ‘I am sorry for not being by your side in the past weeks. As you know, I couldn’t bear the thought of Edward Storm roaming free after everything he’s done.’

While I took a sharp inhale and released it, Nathaniel joined one of his hands with mine. 

‘Two days ago, I found Edward Storm. And I killed him. I know Nathaniel might hate me for going after his parents, but he can rest assured that I won’t go scotfree.’

“What?” Nathaniel murmured in confusion, but it wasn’t clear what the subject of his confusion was. 

‘Yesterday, I turned myself in to the police for the crimes I committed.’ My gasp nearly dragged my heart out of my mouth; my lips gaped wide after. ‘But funnily, I’m not doing this because I’m remorseful about what I did. I was in my clear mind when I plotted revenge against Nathaniel’s parents. So, why am I doing this?’ 

As I watched my mother clamp her eyes shut to hide the sorrow that made her shoulders shudder, I felt tears in the back of my throat. 

‘Sarah, I can’t stop thinking about Rosaline. I know she hurt you. I know you might never forgive her. But she’s my daughter, just like you. Maybe it’s because I didn’t hide my hatred for how similar she was to Nolan, but when I heard about her death, the most dreadful guilt came upon me. I found myself in deep pain that even Edward’s death couldn’t heal.’

As she halted to dab the tears that fell from her eyes, the ache in my heart grew bigger, and I wished that it was possible to hug her through the screen. 

‘Rosaline committed a crime, but she never got to face the consequences. I will make it up to Rosaline by going to prison in her place. I know that sounds foolish because she would have never wanted to remain jailed if she were still alive, but Sarah, the crimes Rosaline and I committed are the only things connecting us. Maybe I’ll feel less guilty when I’m out of prison.’

“Mum…” Her words were not fully meaningful to me, but I understood the depth of her sacrifice. “You don’t have to do this.”

‘I’m sorry I won’t be next to you for some time, Sarah. But I know you have a great family supporting you. Nathaniel, Raya, Amir and your friend Vanessa, I know they’ll take care of you. I’m also sorry I won’t be able to attend your wedding. I am sure you will be the most gorgeous bride on that day. And I am sure your happy days will never fade. I hope you forgive my shortcomings, Sarah. I always manage to be a terrible mother to you and Rosaline. Goodbye, my love. I hope to see you soon. Maybe we’ll visit Rosaline’s grave when that time comes.’

“No!” I burst into a loud cry as the screen went black. “Mum! No!” 

“Come here, my love,” Nathaniel’s heavy voice called, and I dove into his embrace. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. I’ll send the lawyers to see how they can help with her case.”

“She turned herself in, Thaniel.” Within thick sniffles, I rested my head on his thigh, my tears still dropping hot. “I don’t think she wants to be helped.” As his eyes narrowed, I said, “I don’t think you should be concerned about your parents’ killer.”

A light chuckle came from him. “Sarah, as much as it might be saddening, what happened to my parents was a consequence of their sins. I cannot harbour hatred for your mother, who probably felt immense pain to the point of seeking revenge. What my parents did was wrong, and honestly, ever since they’ve given birth to me till now, I have been surrounded by many reasons to hate them, and those reasons easily point out the decaying personalities of my parents.”

“I know you weren’t super close with them, but are you sure about thinking that way?”

“I could never be more sure.” He kissed my forehead, one of his hands slowly caressing my side boob. “I was never bothered by your mother’s revenge, Sarah. And I never will.”

“I know you aren’t lying, but it feels strange somehow.”

“That’s because it’s unusual for a son to speak horribly about his parents. But, what can I say? They were truly horrible; it would be a bigger sin to act like they were saints who deserved salvation.”

“You always surprise me, Nathaniel.”

“I do?”

“You do.” The smile that formed on my face vanished when I recalled the video. “I hope my mum will be fine.”

“Ray will send more details. We can visit her when you’re ready.”

“I am ready right now.”

“I’ll let you know when Ray gets back to me. But…” His eyes seemed to carry a warning. “I hope you won’t burden yourself with this.”

“I won’t.” I wasn’t lying. “It sucks that my mother has chosen to do this, but I understand her. And I know I have to respect her decision. All I can do is check on her from time to time because she’s going through a fragile time.”

“That is a wise thing to say,” he said. 

“Maybe it’s because I’m a mother too. I really understand her. I’ll also do anything for Raya.”

“I have a lot to learn from you, my love,” Nathaniel added, and while I wiped my silent tears, I smiled at him. 

“We have a lot to learn from each other. That’s why I’m glad that we are together.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be here always,” he answered as his touch cupped my face. “We’ll always be with each other no matter what happens.”

Just like the many promises he made that he has fulfilled, as I placed my hand on his, I held onto this new promise. And my heart soared despite the mixed feelings dancing within it.