Chapter 5

Chapter 5
Selene’s POV

By the next day, the Fae delegation had been gone for less than an hour when the entire packhouse seemed to move into a state of controlled chaos.

Lyra had called for another meeting because, apparently, the Queen of the Fae was coming.

I still hadn’t completely processed the fact that Violetta was coming here after four years of abandoning me and acting like that one night didn’t matter. She had been so enraged by my obsession with Lyra, as she had called it. She had been the one to kiss me first, and then she left as if nothing had happened.

I told myself it shouldn’t matter that she was a queen now, and also because I was not the same girl she’d left behind.

Four years was a long time—enough for people to change. I had changed… I was a different person now. So why did my hands feel cold? Why was I nervous that she was going to come here?

I stood near one of the windows overlooking the courtyard, pretending to watch the guards when I heard the unmistakable sound of loud wings approaching that could definitely not belong to birds.

Lyra walked into the room. “They’re here.”

My stomach dropped, and then I turned toward her.

“How many of them?”

“Enough.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“About twenty guards.”

I swallowed hard. “And her?”

Lyra gave me a knowing look. “You don’t have to see her. I’ll steer her away and—”

“Yes, I do,” I said stubbornly. “I am not going to hide away when I am not a coward. She left, and so what? I don’t fucking care, Lyra.”

“Selene, I know it’s hard… it’s okay to—”

“I will go. I have duties to the court, don’t I?”

Lyra sighed. “Fine. You’re too stubborn.”

The courtyard below slowly filled with Fae warriors. They were dressed in dark armour, their weapons sheathed at their sides.
In the middle of all those warriors was Violetta.

For one second, I forgot how to breathe.

She looked almost exactly the same as she had always been when she was here, but at the same time she looked completely different.

Her dark hair fell over her shoulders, longer than I remembered. She wore a black cloak that was fastened with a silver clasp at her throat, and beneath it was dark armour.

She carried herself with so much authority that it made me feel completely inferior to her.

I watched as she walked toward the entrance with several Fae guards behind her.

Her eyes found mine within a few seconds, and I didn’t even know what I was expecting, but it was definitely not the look of indifference she had. It definitely wasn’t for her to act like I meant nothing. I wanted to see that she was affected the same way I was.

Lyra stepped forward. “Your Majesty.”

Violetta inclined her head. “Alpha Lyra.”

Her voice… Goddess.

I had forgotten how much damage a voice could do.

She greeted Alpha Kade next, then the other wolves—Beta Qamar, Silas, Adeline, and Zoe—and finally, her eyes settled on me.

There was still no smile or warmth, and definitely nothing that said she remembered the night we had spent together. Nothing that said she had once held me like I was the most precious thing in the world.

Just those eyes that were cold. “Lady Selene.”

The words made me feel… sad? Angry? Annoyed? I wasn’t even fucking sure.

She had called me Lady Selene and not Selene, like old times. Just—

Lady Selene.

I forced myself to nod. “Your Majesty.”

Her jaw tightened almost imperceptibly, and then she looked away.

I left after a few minutes. I just could not stand being in the same room as her acting unaffected. I simply pretended I had a task I needed to finish.

We had passed each other in the hallway alone another time, and the only thing she gave me was a fucking curt nod. That was it.

No explanation, no apology, and not even a question.

She didn’t come closer to greet me more informally or even act as if we’d ever been friends, let alone two women who made love to each other. All she did was simply walk past me, and it fucking hurt.

I waited until the evening, hoping we’d cross paths again, but I didn’t know why or what I was waiting for when she had already acted that way before.

An apology, perhaps. Or an explanation at least.

Instead, Violetta spent the entire afternoon in meetings with Lyra and Kade talking about Goddess knows what, and every time I passed the council room, I could hear her voice drifting through the door. By sunset, I was done waiting. If she wouldn’t talk to me or give me clarity, I was going to do so myself.

I found her alone in one of the guest corridors, where the walls caught the dying light of the sun and the draft from outside blew cool against my skin. I had passed by the door of the corridor and noticed her frame as she stood beside one of the open windows, looking out at the forest as the trees swayed gently in the evening wind.

For a moment, I simply watched her, taking in the dark line of her robes and the messy braid falling over her shoulder before I took a breath and walked toward her.

I stood for a while, wondering if I should clear my throat to announce my presence or just wait until she noticed me. Still, she didn’t turn around. Her eyes remained fixed on the horizon.

What did I even say to get her attention? I wondered whether I should call her name, or just say hello.

Fuck me. Why was this so goddamn difficult?

“I know you’re there,” she finally said after a while.

Of course she did.

I closed the door behind me, letting the latch click into place so we wouldn’t be interrupted by passing guards. “Why did you leave?” I blurted out. My stomach twisted into knots as I waited for her response.

Silence filled the corridor. I noticed that her shoulders stiffened, and she became rigid.

She still didn’t look at me, keeping her head turned toward the trees outside.

I took another step toward the window, crossing my arms over my chest to keep my hands from shaking.

“You heard me,” I said, pressing the issue because I refused to let her pretend I was invisible.

“Yes,” she replied, letting out a breath. “I did.”

“Then answer me,” I demanded, stopping just a few paces behind where she stood.

She finally turned, moving slowly as though turning to face me took every ounce of energy she had left. Her face was composed despite that. “What do you want me to say?”

“Why’d you leave?”

“I had to,” she said, looking straight into my eyes without blinking.

I stared at her, shaking my head in disbelief because of how easily she dismissed everything between us.

“That’s not an answer,” I told her, my voice rising slightly as anger began to push through the hurt.

Her eyes met mine, the crimson hue swirling faintly in the dim light of the corridor. “It is the only one I can give you,” she answered, her jaw clenching tight.

I laughed bitterly, looking down at the floor before looking back up at her cold expression.

“Of course,” I scoffed, letting my arms drop to my sides as my heart pounded against my ribs.

“Selene—” she began, taking half a step toward me before she stopped herself.

“No,” I snapped, cutting her off instantly because I couldn’t bear to hear that gentle tone.

Her mouth closed, pressing into a thin line as she lowered her head slightly.

“You don’t get to do that.”

“Do what?” she asked, tilting her head.

“Say my name like nothing happened,” I said, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks as the memories of four years ago flooded back. Something flashed in her eyes—a dark flicker of pain—but it was gone almost instantly, hidden away before I could grab hold of it.

“You’re right,” she murmured, looking down at the space between our feet.

I stepped closer, close enough that I could smell the familiar woodsy scent of her hair.

“You disappeared,” I said, my chest aching as the words left my throat.

“I know,” she replied softly, keeping her gaze pinned to the floor.

“You left me alone,” I pressed, feeling the sting of unshed tears burning the backs of my eyes.

“I know,” she repeated.

“You didn’t even tell me why,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat so I could keep speaking.

“I couldn’t,” she told me, finally lifting her eyes back up to mine.

“Couldn’t?” I questioned, my voice cracking as the grief took over. “You couldn’t spare five minutes to tell me why you were leaving? Or at least to say goodbye?”

“It wasn’t that simple,” she said, her voice dropping into a rough whisper.

“Then make it simple,” I demanded, wanting her to give me a single truth I could hold onto, so I could stop feeling all the hurt and pain.

She said nothing, clamping her lips shut and staring at me with a hollow look.

I shook my head, stepping back so I didn’t have to be near her.

“I spent four years wondering what I did wrong,” I confessed, hating how desperate I sounded, but still I needed to let it out.

“You did nothing wrong,” she said immediately, the words coming out fast and sure.

“Then why?” I cried out, spreading my hands wide as I begged for an answer.

Violetta looked away, turning her gaze back toward the open window and the dark night outside. That silence was an answer in itself. I felt anger rising in my chest, hot and fast, pushing past the sadness that had held me down for days.

“You know what the worst part is?” I asked.

She shrugged.

Goddess, why was she still acting so fucking nonchalant about the whole situation? Why was she so comfortable hurting me?!

“I waited,” I told her through gritted teeth. I wanted to convince myself that I saw her expression falter just then, but I knew I was only being delusional. “I kept thinking you’d come back,” I continued. “But you didn’t.”

I wiped angrily at the corner of my eye before she could see the tear spill over my cheek.

“I had to teach myself to stop expecting you,” I spat.

As soon as I said those words, Violetta looked like I’d struck her across the face, her pale skin draining of whatever little colour it held. But she still said nothing. I hated her for that, and I hated myself for still caring after all the time that had passed.

“I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“I should go,” she said, turning her back on me once more.

“That’s all you’re going to say?!” I yelled after her, but she didn’t even glance in my direction.

I felt stupid. I had only made a fool out of myself. Fuck me.