Chapter 269

Violetta’s POV

I did not stop walking until I reached the end of the corridor and could no longer see her.

Only then did I allow myself to breathe.

I pressed my back against the wall and closed my eyes, trying to stop my hand from trembling. Even after curling my hand into a fist, it still wouldn’t stop.

I mean, why would it? It was Selene, for Goddess’ sake.

Four years.

Four years of imagining what this moment would feel like, and somehow I had never imagined that it would hurt this much. I had never imagined freezing up so badly that I would not even know the right words to say or how to handle the situation.

And now, I felt like I had only managed to make the situation worse.

I had imagined her angry, and I had also imagined her refusing to speak to me because she hated me. What I had not imagined was hearing the raw hurt in her voice, or her even bothering to confront me about what had happened.

I spent four years wondering what I did wrong.

My eyes burned as I recalled her words. She had done nothing wrong, and that was the cruellest part of it all.

I had wanted to tell her that every single day since I left, but wanting something and being able to have it were two completely different things.

I pushed away from the wall and continued down the corridor toward the guest chambers Lyra had prepared for me as a royal guest. My guards were waiting at the other end.

“Your Majesty,” one of them greeted me as he saw me. From his expression, he likely had something to report, but I wasn’t in any mood to hear it, especially after the confrontation I had just endured.

“Leave me.”

They exchanged a brief glance.

“Your Majesty, we were instructed—”

“I said leave me.”

They bowed immediately and turned around. I waited until they were gone before entering the room that had been prepared for me, closing the door behind me and being welcomed into the silence of the room.

I stood there for several seconds, staring at nothing, then finally reached up and pulled the silver clasp from my cloak, allowing it to fall onto the table. I removed the cloak next, and then my gloves.

I looked down pathetically at my fingers that were still shaking.

I had faced whole armies without trembling. I had walked into rooms filled with enemies and never allowed them to see fear in my eyes.

Yet one conversation with Selene had nearly broken me completely.

Fucking hell.

I sat on the edge of the bed and lowered my head into my hands.

I could still hear her voice echoing the exact words that she had spoken.

You disappeared.

I waited.

I kept thinking you’d come back.

A tear slipped down my cheek, and I wiped it away immediately, simply because there was no room for tears.

I had learned that lesson four years ago about not letting anyone get close enough to me ever again. The night before I left, Selene had fallen asleep right beside me.

I remembered everything—from the warmth of her body to the steady rhythm of her soft breaths. Even before she had fully drifted off to sleep, I remembered her looking at me with that gentle smile on her face when she thought I wasn't looking at her.

I could still remember the way my heart had felt so impossibly full that I had been terrified it would betray me.

I had loved her.

Goddess, I had loved her, and I still did. That had never changed, even when I left her behind and returned to the Fae Realm to stand before the council and accept the crown that Thorne had given me before he abdicated.

Even now, I still loved her.

My fingers moved instinctively to the pendant beneath my clothes that had been carved out of wood by my own hands. I had kept it with me all these years… carving a twin to the one I had left for her.

She probably thought I had walked away because I regretted that night and didn’t value her, or that I didn’t care about what we shared. But the truth was so much worse than that.

The only reason I had left was because I was terrified that loving me would get her killed.

Four years ago, someone discovered what I truly was. That I was a hybrid Fae of demon and angel blood—something that should never have existed, and something that, according to the ancient laws of the Fae, should have been destroyed on sight.

I had spent my entire life hiding it, just as my mother had taught me to protect the secret forever. If the Fae ever discovered what flowed through my veins, there would be no trial, no mercy, and no chance to defend myself.

They would execute me on the spot, and anyone connected to me would immediately become a target.

I had accepted that grim fate long before I ever met Selene. What I hadn’t expected was to fall in love with someone who had absolutely nothing to do with my cursed heritage.

She was innocent and never deserved to be dragged into my mess at all. She had trusted me enough to give me her heart, even in a world where two women were forbidden to be together for any reason.

Thorne had come to tell me about his departure just after Selene woke up; we were out in the garden, and the moment he left, she approached me.

And she made the threat very clear.

If I stayed, Selene would become leverage against me.

Her poisoned words still haunted my mind every single day.

Imagine what would happen if the wolves and your kind… the Fae… discovered what their precious warrior really is.

And then the second threat:

Imagine what would happen to the sweet little wolf girl beside you.

I had wanted to laugh and convince myself she was bluffing, but I knew far better than to risk it.

“I know all about your lover. A woman… makes the odds against you so much worse, doesn’t it? You will play along to my tune, or else…”

I had never hated myself more than I did in that exact moment, because I was left with only two choices. I could stay with Selene and risk exposing her to the lethal danger surrounding me, or I could deny loving her and leave Elarion and the lands of the wolves before anyone could use her against me.

I chose the second path because I convinced myself it was the ultimate act of love.

I told myself that if she hated me, at least she would remain alive, and that one day she would forget me and find love somewhere safe. Maybe get married, have children… be happy with someone the world would readily accept for her.

But I was dead wrong.

She hadn’t forgotten, and neither had I.

A knock sounded at the door right then, and I quickly wiped the moisture from my face, blinking rapidly and praying my eyes weren’t bloodshot. A queen could not afford to show any sign of weakness.

“Enter,” I commanded after clearing the rasp from my throat.

The heavy wooden door opened slightly, revealing one of my guards. “Your Majesty, the council is requesting your presence.”

“Tell them I will attend to them later.”

“They said the matter is urgent.”

“Everything is urgent to the council of the Outbounds.”

The guard hesitated, shifting on his feet. “Not their council, Your Majesty… our council. Word has just arrived from our lands.”

I looked at him, the exhaustion settling deep into my bones, and then sighed. “Go. Inform them we shall return at first light in the morning.”

He bowed deeply and took his leave.

I leaned back against the headboard and let out a weary breath. For the Fae council to demand an emergency audience while fully aware of the crisis here meant something grave was developing back home. Fuck… now I finally understood why Thorne had been so eager to walk away from this crown. It carried nothing but crushing burdens.

For a fleeting moment, I allowed myself to imagine a different life—one where I had stayed, waking up beside Selene that morning four years ago.

I pictured us living in a quiet, secluded place far away from court politics and duty, simply existing and being happy together for the rest of our days.

By the gods, the fantasy was so breathtaking it genuinely hurt.

I could almost see her radiant smile, hear the sweet ring of her laughter, and feel her warm fingers intertwined with mine.

Then harsh reality came crashing back.

I was a queen.

She was a wolf.

And the lethal secret I had spent my entire life guarding was more dangerous than ever.

That was how things had to stay.

Because the very second anyone uncovered the truth about what ran in my veins, the woman I loved would become the easiest weapon to destroy me with.

And I would rather let Selene hate me with every fibre of her being for the rest of her life than ever give anyone the opportunity to use her against me.

I had made that agonizing choice four years ago, and I would make it all over again, even if it killed me inside.