30- Tears in the driveway

A part of me was disappointed and another was afraid, after all I was traveling with a liar, I felt like she was more hypocritical than ever at the precise moment she told me that she was ready and that we could get on the bus. Pollito always took drugs but he never knew exactly when he did it, I couldn't say if I was ever with him while he was taking drugs, usually at parties he took drugs in the men's bathroom and I stayed outside dancing. I think I wouldn't be in any danger with Rocío, but Pollito was my friend, he never hurt me or hurt me, once he got very paranoid and thought that someone was following us. I had to leave him at his house and sleep with him that night. On another occasion I thought that one of the DJ's horns was a bomb and was going to explode. We had to leave the club until he calmed down and understood that it was a bugle, would this happen to me with Rocío? What could be the worst that could happen? “That she would get violent and kill me…” I thought, Was that being drugged or was that being psychotic?  I hated not being well informed about the effect that cocaine has on you, as soon as I arrived in Mérida I would do a master's degree in drugs through Wikipedia.She used cocaine and instead of worrying about my safety, I bordered on madness and unconsciousness, feeling disappointed that she took drugs while I was an innocent girl completely opposed to her and her lifestyle. I know, I think the one who had serious problems was me. We got on the bus and looked for the seats that corresponded to us, we had bought the tickets separately but luckily we had managed to get the same seats. I turned to the window while I placed my bag in the compartments located on top of the seats. I was serious and very quiet, quieter than normal, all the excitement I had from traveling with her had disappeared. She bent her knees resting her feet against the front seat, she was wearing baggy pants that fell off her hips and a white t-shirt that showed off her black bra, she looked very sexy even when I couldn't bear to look at her and admit it.She noticed my prying indifference, finally after several attempts at appearing friendly and me simply nodding my head. At six the bus left the terminal and we began the trip. Rocío took out her headphones and started listening to music, suddenly she asked me if the whole trip would be like this, with her and her headphones on. The bus lights go out. I felt deeply sad, again he saw me lying on my bed crying.

I took out my phone, put on my headphones, and started listening to music. He took off his headphones and politely asked me what I was listening to. He asked me if I would see anyone that weekend, if I would see my ex. I told him no and took the opportunity to ask him about his love life.

I only knew that she was single, but I didn't know what condition her heart was in, maybe if I knew that I would understand better why she was traveling in those conditions to Mérida. 

He told me that he had had a four-year relationship with a girl and then they had broken up because she had been unfaithful to him with a man. She told me that she had given everything for that person and that in the end the ex-girlfriend had left her for someone else. He showed me a couple of photos and looked cute and happy with his ex-girlfriend.My attachment to happy endings made me ask her if I wasn't thinking of getting back with her one day. She told me that she would never get back with her because her mother would kill her, that her ex had hurt her a lot. “I wouldn't go back to my ex because my mother would kill me” I didn't understand that phrase very well. Do you mean that she would go back to her ex if she had the opportunity to decide? Then he showed me other photos of a girl who had been his most recent affair, he explained to me that he hadn't lasted long with her because they were only looking for casual sex, I just nodded like a fool and looked at the photos, he asked me if I had ever I had been in a serious relationship with someone, I nodded, remembering some names, one in specific, she asked me if it had been a serious, stable relationship, she told me that she lived with her ex for several years, I felt offended that I would despise how I couldn't take a relationship seriously. I understood that Rocío's heart had been broken and I was overcome by a desire to hug her and take care of her so that no one else could hurt her. The drama from earlier in the bathroom had passed, I would eventually tell him that I knew what he had done to see his response.Rocío listened to music from my Blackberry, I had taken hers. I liked her music, she had many new electro songs that I wanted to download for days: David Guetta, Avicci, I even found one by Coldplay. All very current. I had a lot of new music that I didn't know or listened to in the club without distinguishing the artist. I would have loved to ask him the name of all those artists but I restrained myself and listened in silence. She had no idea that I was traveling just to be close to her, I had nothing to do in Mérida besides observe her, observe her as I would have liked to be able to do all my life. I looked at a black dot on the stairs that connected the upper floor of the bus with the drivers' cabin, I could barely turn to see it, I felt her so close leaning on my shoulder that it was impossible to look at her and not let my happiness escape. I knew that from the moment I kiss her my life will change forever.