Fight or die

Fight or die
"William will make you get rid of him," said Mery , sitting on the edge of the tub as I washed my hands.
Only if he knows. I don't think it will be long before..." I gulped, the thought of William on top of me making me want to vomit. To consummate the marriage. And I can hide a two- or three-week discrepancy.'
We waited, side by side, as Mery held out her hand to me. Breathing calmly, I reached out and held up the test. Two lines stood out against the white, as bold as one would like.
'Fuck,' I whispered.
'Fuck,' agreed Mery . 'I don't know whether to hug you or cry for you.'
"Both," I said as a tear slid down my cheek, a whole plethora of emotions pouring over my head. Mery wrapped me in her arms and the close contact ran through me again. In a few weeks, my whole life had been turned upside down. I had gone from being a single woman living with my family, with hardly a care in the world, to being betrothed to a monster, with another man's baby inside me and having felt what love could be only to have it ripped away from me.
You'll be fine," Mery said, hugging me as I sobbed into her hair.
I won't be. I sniffled as I grabbed toilet paper and wiped my boogers.
Will you tell Edward?
No, I can't. It would kill him. All he's ever wanted is a family of his own, and he'd end up getting shot for it. It's not worth him dying for. In time he'll get ahead, he'll meet a nice girl and he can fill it with children." The thought of him with another made my blood boil, even if hypocritically. No one else can know. Swear you won't tell."
Mery raised her eyebrows before nodding with a sigh. 'Okay, I won't tell him, but I think you owe him the chance to tell him'.
He deserved to know, but it would be too painful. It was a secret he was going to have to keep from her. For her safety, and for the baby's safety. Otherwise William would kill them both.
'Here,' said Mery , taking something out of her pocket before putting it in my hand. You should get Mom's necklace back.
'Thanks,' I said, putting it around my neck and fastening it at the back before carefully re-wrapping the pregnancy test in the foil and sliding it down my sleeve. It couldn't go out the way it had come, so I would have to find another way to dispose of it. The trash can was definitely not a safe option, with William's penchant for control.
Mery stopped before we left the bathroom, letting her hand brush my stomach as she smiled. 'I can't wait to be Auntie M'.
I shared her smile before pulling her hand away and clasping her fingers between mine.
We still have nine months to go. First I have to get through the wedding and survive all that time."
EDWARD
In the kitchen, the house was colder and darker than I remembered. Harry had laundered my payment and deposited it directly into my account, and I stared grimly at the six-figure figure on my phone screen.
I didn't want him.
I wanted Amelia .
I set the phone down on the counter with a clunk and buried my face in my hands. What could I do? Nothing. Useless as usual.
Across the window two children were playing, running through a sprinkler and filling the air with their tinkling laughter. Their mother was sitting on the front step drinking from a cup as their father approached from behind. His fingers gently brushed her hair as she leaned back against his thighs and the soft, warm scene broke me. It could have been us, had we been given time and freedom to be together. Amelia could have been my happily ever after and I hers. Underneath her mob princess exterior was a passionate, warm, wonderful woman who just wanted to be appreciated. I wanted to be the person to give it to her. To at least have the chance to try.
A timid knock on the door tore my eyes from the scene across the street. I had been so self-absorbed that I hadn't even seen anyone approach the door. A glance out the window made me sigh with relief. It was Amanda .
My elderly neighbor stood on my doorstep with an old tin can in her hand and gave me a warm smile when I opened the door.
Welcome home, my boy, I thought you might want a cookie or two". He entered the house uninvited and headed for the kitchen, rummaging through my cupboards until he found some tea. I should have been rude, raised a fuss, but familiarity wrapped around me like a cozy blanket. Like she was the grandmother I didn't have.
I can do that," I said, taking charge of the tea preparation and motioning for her to take a seat.
How was the trip?
I had given her a key when I left so she could get in in case of emergency, but I had told her it was a business meeting overseas. I didn't expect to be gone for weeks. I sat across from her, her kind eyes pressing into my chest. I felt like talking, like venting, but I held it in as usual.
It was fine, there were some complications, that's why I was gone so long."
Amanda watched me as she sipped her tea and handed me the open box of cookies. I don't think that's true, Edward .
I swallowed saliva as I picked up a cookie, took a good bite and closed my eyes as I felt the sugary sweet pleasure on my tongue. God, I had missed his baking.
'I... There's a lot to know to understand.'
I have nothing but time, as you know.
Could I tell you, would you hate me if you knew what I was?
'You know I grew up in foster care, and when I left it, I was on my own. Well, I had a hard time finding work. Without an address, places wouldn't take a chance on me, and without a job, I couldn't get a place. I finally got picked up by a gang and started doing menial jobs for them."
"Illegal jobs?" he asked, picking up a cracker and dipping it in his tea before taking a bite.
Yes. Most of the time. But I was good at it. I prospered. I earned enough to get a small room in a shared apartment and finally had something I could call my own. I dreamed of having a nice house in a nice area, a place where I could be happy. Over the years, I worked my way up to where I am now."
And what do you do now?
I felt a tingling in my back as I looked into her eyes. I saw no judgment. No, she looked at me openly, without fear or disgust.
"I'm an enforcer for one of Glasgow's major crime syndicates.
His eyes widened slightly before he reached out and stroked my hand. You survived despite a terrible start. No one can deny you that. Tell me about this job."
There's a woman.
Amanda smiled wryly and her eyes sparkled at that fragment. She continued.
She's my boss's daughter. She arranged her marriage to a rival gang leader, and the guy is a terrible man. Although neither of us is a saint, he'd make the devil himself look reasonable. So she ran away, and I was tasked with bringing her home."