Chapter 330 330. Olena - I need you 3

Chapter 330 330. Olena - I need you 3
I hold back a groan as a shiver of anticipation runs down my spine.
I’ve never realized how much I needed to be treated like this—not with silk gloves, but roughly—and my entire body seems to buzz with excitement.
While many of the men who visited me at the apartment were violent with me, there were also those who treated me with kindness, who saw me as a human being rather than an object they could use for their own pleasure. One of those men was into spanking, and while I hated it at first, I eventually came to enjoy it. Maybe more than I’d like to admit. 
But the idea of Artemiy throwing me over his lap and spanking me hard almost makes me whimper because the more I think about it, the more I realize why the thought appeals to me so much.
I don’t want to be hurt. I want to let go.
To stop thinking. To stop worrying. I trust the man behind me enough to give him full control and let him handle everything while I simply surrender to him, even if only for a little while.
I never realized how much I needed a strong man—or two—until now. And when I say strong, I don’t mean just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. Vasiliy and Artemiy are exactly that—two men of integrity who won’t take advantage of me as I continue learning who I am and the kind of dynamic I want between us.
“Am I being too much?” he asks when I remain silent, concern creeping into his voice. “Am I forcing you out of your comfort zone?”
“No,” I reply. “I… maybe I want more. Need more.”
My heart hammers against my chest as I force myself to be this vulnerable. I’m afraid he’ll somehow judge me. Think less of me.
But he encourages me with a simple, “Go on.”
“Earlier, when you told me what you wanted to do to me—I liked that,” I confess.
“Yeah?” he groans into my ear, making me nod. “You like hearing all the dirty things I’ll do to you?”
A loud whimper escapes me, and Artemiy grinds against me, making sure I feel just how hard he is for me.
“What the fuck are you doing to her?” Vasiliy’s angry voice comes from only a few feet away, pulling both Artemiy and me from whatever trance we’ve been in and making Artemiy jump away from me. 
Vasiliy takes in the state of my clothes and my neck, his gaze turning a murderous shade of red as I fumble for words to explain what’s happening.
Artemiy starts explaining as best as he can. “I’m not doing anything she doesn’t want,” but that seems like the wrong thing to say because Vasiliy lets out an inhuman sound before trying to punch his cousin.
“Stop!” I scream, and both of them freeze.
Taking a deep breath, I turn to Vasiliy. “He didn’t lie. He wasn’t hurting me, forcing me, or doing anything I didn’t consent to.”
“But look at what he did to you,” Vasiliy protests.
I can only imagine what he thinks of my state, and since he doesn’t believe Artemiy, it’s up to me to clarify everything.
“I want both of you to stop treating me like I’m going to break the moment either of you says the wrong thing, touches me the wrong way, or even looks at me strangely. I was—and still am—broken in many ways, but I am healing, growing, and tired of letting my past define my present and future.”
A moment of silence follows as I give them time to understand what I mean by that.
“I adore the way you are with me. I love the way you take care of me and love me. But isn’t it exhausting, treating me like I’m some fragile thing that needs to be protected at all costs?” 
“But you are fragile,” Vasiliy points out.
“I was,” I gently contradict him, “but being with you two is slowly showing me how to be strong. And I want you two to be your real selves around me, not guard every reaction out of fear of triggering me.”
Vasiliy tries to protest, but I tell him something I read in a book not long ago. “My triggers are my responsibility. And if either of you does something I don’t like, I will let you know.”
Vasiliy runs a hand through his hair. “That sounds fair.” His gaze drops to my neck. “But… are you sure it’s not too soon after what happened last night?”
“If it were anyone else, I’d probably be nowhere near ready for sex. But being around you two makes me feel safe and protected. I know neither of you would ever take advantage of me. And I need this.” I swallow before admitting, “I need both of you. I don’t want to feel his hands or his mouth on my skin anymore. I only want to feel your touches—the touches of the men I love.” 
It takes Vasiliy a few moments to understand what I’m telling him.
“You… love me?” he asks, a bit unsure. 
“I love both of you. Both of you are truly my soulmates, and there would be no Olena without Artemiy and Vasiliy.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” he murmurs before stepping in front of me, placing his big palms around my face and kissing me.
Artemiy steps behind me, pulls my hair to the side, and kisses my shoulder.
“Do you mind?” Vasiliy huffs.
“Actually, I do,” Artemiy retorts as he cups my breasts. “Tell him,” he demands. “Tell Vasiliy what you told me.”
I swallow hard as I look into Vasiliy’s eyes. Out of the two of them, Vasiliy is the one who sees me as someone who has to be taken care of, like someone whose past dictates everything.
I shouldn’t be doing this, not when Yuily is nearby, but Artemiy and Vasiliy have promised to keep me safe.
Every anxious thought in my head urges me to get away from the men I love, insisting that my presence will only put them in danger. But at some point, I have to draw a line in the sand. I can’t let fear keep deciding what I’m allowed to do and what I’m not.
So, despite all my fear and reservations, I say, “I want to suck your dick while Artemiy fucks me.”

It shouldn't be long before I am done with this story; I need to tie up all the loose ends first.