Chapter 327 327. Olena - Ashamed 2

Chapter 327 327. Olena - Ashamed 2
“Where did he get that idea from?”
“I am not,” I try to retort, but it comes out like a weak whimper, which only makes Artemiy think he’s right.
He lifts his head, gently cupping my cheek, almost treating me like some wounded, frightened animal. My heart beats painfully because I don’t like him thinking that he has to be careful around me when that isn’t the case.
His throat bobs as he says, “You think I don’t see the way you look at me, like I’m some kind of monster who is also going to hurt you.”
Bile rises in my throat. “That’s not what I think of you or how I see you. I’m not scared of you, but for you,” I do my best to explain. “And I’m also afraid that you might blame me… and maybe he would have left me alone if I just—”
He cuts me off before I can finish. “Don’t you fucking dare blame yourself for what that bastard did to you.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Lucifer! I would give anything to have him in front of me right now so I could kill him with my own hands!”
He takes a few calming breaths before saying in a softer tone, “Show me. I need to know, Olena.”
“I can’t.”
He clenches his jaw hard before admitting, “Not knowing what he did to you is killing me.”
“He… he didn’t rape me, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“He didn’t have to stick his dick inside you to violate your mind and body. Just by putting his filthy hands on you, he sexually assaulted you! And I wasn’t there to stop him because I came up with this fucking idea to have you hide, which left you vulnerable.” His voice cracks as he adds, “It’s all my fault. Because I was fucking horny.” He presses the heels of his palms against his eyes. “I’m fucking forty-eight years old, not sixteen. I should have known better! But more than that, I should have controlled my urges better, not let my dick do all the thinking for me.”
I can’t believe he’s blaming himself. He might have been the one to come up with the idea of hide-and-seek, but I was just as excited about being found and then ravished.
“You are not to blame for what he did,” I protest.
He turns his back to me. “I am,” he insists, his voice laced with guilt. “If we had stuck to the plan, nothing would have happened. You wouldn’t be standing here looking like a spooked deer, one wrong movement away from darting off.”
My arms come around him as I hug him from behind and press my cheek against his back. Not having to look at his face as we speak makes it easier to open up.
“I’m not scared,” I whisper. “I’m ashamed.”
His body tenses. “You don’t have anything to be ashamed of.”
“But I do,” I insist, trying to make him see things from my perspective. “He only did what he did because I didn’t scream or fight him.” I can feel Artemiy on the verge of contradicting me, so I keep speaking faster, needing to get this off my chest. “Maybe if it had been any other man, I would have tried to get away from him, but when it comes to Yuily, my body freezes up.”
“You know him.” It’s not an accusation, but an observation.
“I do. He was one of the men who bought me. There were three of them in total: Stanislav, Denys, and Yuily. Yuily was the youngest of the three, but also the most obsessed with me. He would come to the apartment every day and force me to have sex with him. The others would drop by as well, but not as frequently as Yuily. Eventually, they got bored with me and shifted their attention to other women, but that didn’t stop Yuily from dropping by from time to time and reminding me that I belonged to him. While the idea of going to prison terrified me, I knew it was the only way to get away from them—especially from Yuily.”
He covers my hands with his. “You don’t have to be scared anymore, Olena. You have two men and two demons who will burn the world for you. And don’t think that makes me a good man, because I’m far from it. It only makes me an antihero, because I would destroy everything to keep you safe.”
“You might claim that you are not a good man, but you are,” I tell him truthfully. “You and Vasiliy.”
“Olena,” he sighs, and I can hear the protest in his voice.
So I add, “From the moment we met, you’ve been nothing but good to me. You respected me as a woman and as a person. You saw me for who I am, not just for my looks, because you were genuinely interested in getting to know me first. Even though we’re in a relationship, you always make sure I’m alright with you kissing or touching me.”
“Just because you gave me consent once doesn’t mean you can’t take it back at any moment and for whatever reason, and I need to be sure I’m not coercing you into anything,” he explains.
“And this is exactly why I love you,” I tell him, wanting him to know how I feel.
He inhales deeply before turning to face me. The way he looks at me makes it seem as though my words barely make sense to him.
His lips part, but for several seconds, no sound comes out.
When he finally finds his voice, he asks, “Are you sure?”
“I’d never lie about something so important,” I huff.
A sound full of joy leaves him as he gathers me into his arms. “I love you so much, beautiful,” he murmurs before pressing a kiss to my temple.
His lips travel along my skin until they reach my cheek, then my mouth, and he kisses me hungrily for several seconds before moving lower. When his lips reach the edge of my scarf, he stops.
I stiffen in his arms as he asks, “What did that bastard do to you that you feel so ashamed you’re hiding it?”

I will update in a couple of days :)