Epilogue

“Are you going to run away?” 

Jada looked at him, taken aback at the question. She thought about it for a moment, standing here with him, by the ocean she loved so much there was nothing for her to fear anymore. The past was gone and the future was waiting for her. She thought about the last time she had to make a big decision, she did it right on that beach by that ocean.

Here it was, another monumental moment. He’s waiting for you to go to him, Jessica had said. She wondered how long Chris would wait and how much longer she could hold herself back. Whenever she was with him, she had all these feelings come at her at once. Emotions, like the waves on a shore that got swept out in a furious rush only to come gliding back with calm and serenity.

Somehow my heart feels safer when you hold it like you’re not the one that broke it.

Jada watched as the waves carried their flowers further away into the ocean and sighed, “I’m not running. I’m not scared anymore.”

Chris glanced at her, then looked straight ahead and grinned. Her pulse elevated, she blinked, stunned, and captivated all at the same time. 

“What were we thinking that night?” he asked with a chuckle.

“That we were two great looking people alone on a beach,” Jada put her hand over her mouth smothering her giggle. “We weren’t thinking.”

“I guess we were just feeling,” Chris’s lips curled. “I enjoyed not thinking about anything and just being with you. It was the first time in my life I was at peace. I didn’t want to ruin it with-,”

“A complicated relationship,” Jada cut him off. “But here we are.”

“And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” the earnest in his voice touched her heart.

Chris pulled into his arms and she leaned into him falling into his solid muscular warmth. She felt the ridge of his shoulders under her roving palms. Lifting on her tiptoes she whispered back against his ear over the loud thumping of her heart. “This is the last chance you have to break my heart. After that, there won’t be a heart to break.”

“You know that there are two tragedies in life, one is to lose your heart’s desire and the other is to gain it,” The side of his mouth pulled back not quite a smile as he spoke in a luxurious purr.

Jada looked into his eyes and fell into the passion within them. She was brave enough, to disappear in them and still find a beautiful and stronger self with him. A stillness fell around her, and calmness settled in her soul, as she made her decision. This was where she wanted to be for the rest of her life, in his arms.

There was barely any room to stand, barely room to breathe and she leaned into him kissing him as if he might disappear.

***

“Are you okay?”

Jada shut the door and doubled over the toilet bowl. It had been almost two months of nausea and her body couldn’t handle it anymore. It had also been over two weeks since she saw Chris. For the longest time, Jada was terrified about the idea of being pregnant again. She had dodged Kat’s offers to see a specialist and her mother-in-law’s hints on grandchildren. Even though he didn’t say it out loud, Jada knew that Chris was just as frightened as she was when it came to pregnancy. 

But then fate had a different plan for them. Jada had started having pregnancy symptoms. At first, she was in denial and rationalized it as her body rebelling against her hectic work schedules on two different continents. Then she blamed it on food poisoning, and stress. Anyway, she could find a reasonable explanation that didn’t involve the word pregnant she would cling onto it for dear life. She had done her best hiding her symptoms from Chris. It helped that their schedules were so busy, so fifty percent of their relationship was supported by FaceTime.

“I’m fine,” she called out through the bathroom door. “I guess I just had some bad curry.”

“Jada.”

The tone in his voice told her, that he didn’t believe her at all. A knock on the door saved her for making explanations and coming up with new lies. 

“Babe, I have to get that.”

“Sure,” Chris said.

Jada didn’t know who it could be at her door so late in the evening, but she was grateful for the few minutes they gave her. When Jada opened the door, her relief was quickly stolen from her. Chris was standing there, a questioning brow lifted.

“You didn’t even ask who it was or were busy trying to figure out what lie you were going to tell me,” he said unamused.

“Uhm,” Jada had nothing to say. So instead, she stepped out of the way as he strode into the apartment. She closed the door and turned to face him. Chris fished a box out of the brown bag he had in his hand and tossed it at her. Jada knew what it was, the pink and white were so obvious. She ducked and heard the box knock on the door behind her.

“No,” she said sternly.

“How long will you live in fear?” Chris’s voice held the quiet scrape of drawn steel. He was beginning to get impatient with her.

“I lived with my mother for two decades hoping that one day she would learn to love me, I'm an expert when it comes to living in denial.” Jada stomped past Chris and eased herself into a sofa when her world begun to spin. 

Chris sat on the coffee table in front of her, he squeezed her legs and she tried to swallow the bile slowly rising in her throat.

“Being in denial isn’t something you can do when it comes to this. I’m here, you don’t have to be afraid.”

Jada looked into his, as he gazed into her eyes. His were open and honest, presented warmth and safety. It was her home, her place to find comfort when the cold wind blew. Jada was instantly distracted when the pounding in her head threatened to end her into darkness. 

***

“Okay,” Jada gave in.

Chris picked up the pregnancy test and handed it to her. He then escorted her to the bathroom when she looked unsteady on her feet.

Chris sat on the floor on the other side of the door as a vortex of panic formed in the center of his belly. Kat was the one who told him that she suspected Jada was pregnant. Chris didn’t wait, he took the company jet to London and ambushed Jada. He was excited and terrified at the same time. But he promised that this time, everything would go smoothly and that he would protect Jada with his life throughout the pregnancy.

But first, they had to find out if she was pregnant.

Five minutes seemed like five hours. He wasn’t sure how long the test took but he was willing to let Jada take as long as she needed. When the bathroom door finally opened, Chris didn’t get u, he didn’t even dare look up at her. Jada sat on the floor next to him and weaved her fingers into his. Summoning up enough courage he glanced at her.

He didn’t need her to say the words, the tears rolling down her cheeks, and the scared look in her eyes told him all he needed to know. Chris wrapped his arms around her and held her as tight and as close as he could.

Chris was amazed at Jada. This woman was soft and fierce, broken, and strong at the same time. 

He was in love with this woman.

He was proud to call her his friend.

He was blessed to call her his wife.

He was pleased to call her his lover.

He was in awe to be able to call her the mother of his children.