Chapter 7

Heart pounding, Brynn skied between the red and blue gates marking the downhill course. The adrenaline flowed, and she felt as if she could fly. Nothing beat racing. Just her and the mountain.

She tucked to pick up speed. Flurries fell, but not enough to affect visibility. Gray skies could cause flat light, but that wasn’t a problem today. She saw shadows and other things coming up on the course.

Her skis skidded the wrong way, and she felt out of control for a second, but she made it through the turn. Ruts had formed due to the fresh snow.

She nearly sat on her tails. Not on purpose. Corrected her position. Crouched lower. Crossed the finish line.

Spectators cheered, and cowbells clanged.

She’d made it.

Elation rocketed through her. She’d finished the race—both of them—to complete the super combined. Maybe Ry had given her a bit of luck. She hadn’t expected a kiss on the cheek but thinking about his sweet gesture made her smile widen.

She stopped. A rooster’s tail of snow flew from her skis.

Breathing hard, Brynn gripped her poles tighter and glanced at the scoreboard.

Her shoulders dropped. Her stomach clenched.

Not fast enough. Mistakes had cost her. She wouldn't be standing on the podium today.

But you finished.

The steps she and Ry had brainstormed last night worked. This was a big accomplishment. Her hands tingled though she wasn’t cold. She stood taller as if she’d burned off twenty pounds during the run.

Yes. She’d finally accomplished something by finishing, but who knew if that would be enough to salvage a season of poor results?

People called her name. She waved to the crowd. None of the faces stood out, more like blurs surrounded by bright colors, but her teammates were there. Ry, too.

Brynn exited through the event sponsor’s inflatable gate. Coach Frederick was waiting for her. Seeing no frown on his face brought relief, but he wasn’t smiling, either. Guess she’d find out what his expression meant.

She was five-eight, but Coach towered over her, more perception than reality. He was an imposing figure in his team jacket and hat. He drew stares wherever he went. Young skiers and eager parents wanted to catch his attention.

Well, she had Frederick’s. As her coach, not her dad. She wanted a father to cheer for her, whether she did well or poorly.

Not going to happen.

Knowing that, hurt.

The same as when she’d been younger and wanted Sully to teach her how to ride a bike or watch her race. She might be older, but the yearning was the same now as then.

Deep breaths filled her lungs with cold air. If only she could see Mike Frederick as just a coach, the man who pushed her and her teammates to ski faster and dig deeper to improve, but she kept thinking of him as her father. Hoping he would want her as a daughter. Wondering what had brought him and her mother together at that wedding.

She waited for Coach’s barrage of criticism. Something he unleashed on all skiers, not just her. The first time he’d gotten on Brynn, she’d been new on the national scene. Her fat, hot tears had made Coach’s face redder. She’d wanted to die, take up snowboarding. Until she’d realized he was correct. Her skiing weaknesses reflected her personality weaknesses. She’d worked hard to fix that and had. Only now she was back where she’d been. So not good.

“You went for it,” Coach said.

Brynn lifted her goggles up on her helmet. “Had nothing to lose.”

“Almost lost it when you went back on your tails.”

Nothing missed his eagle eyes, but Brynn had given her all during the race. She raised her chin. “But I didn’t. Just couldn’t make up the time.”

Coach started to speak but stopped. He tried again. “Better than not finishing.”

Brynn nodded. Nerves knocked like skis against a bumpy course. She didn’t know if finishing a run would be enough to keep her spot. She doubted it.

“Tomorrow’s another race.” Coach sounded encouraging, and she bit her lip at the small sign of hope. He touched her shoulder with a gloved hand. “Lila’s coming up soon.”

Dismissed. He had other skiers to watch.

Good. Putting distance between them would release the tension that had built up.

Being around Mike Frederick made Brynn nervous. What should be a normal interaction between coach and athlete became a near panic attack. She was afraid to talk to him, scared she might say something wrong and raise his suspicions, or worse, blurt the truth so she could move on. But that would ruin, well, everything for her mom and brothers. The fears made every conversation stressful and intense, whether during a practice or a race.

Sam yelled, “Good job.”

Jon flashed her a thumbs-up. Others shouted. All were smiling.

Grateful for their support, she raised a pole and struck a pose. Each teammate knew her struggles this season. They’d tried to help even though she’d kept the reason for her poor performance a secret. She didn’t want who her birth father was to change anything. Not her position on the team or how anyone viewed her or Coach Frederick. Skiing had been her escape from Sully’s disappointment in her. Now Brynn’s place of refuge had been overrun with her soap opera life. She didn’t want the identity of her father to hurt the team.

Chas stood behind Taylor with his arms around her. The two were the perfect couple and made for each other. Both physically and emotionally. They supported each other one hundred percent, on good days but especially on bad ones. That was what Brynn wanted to find someday.

Knee surgery kept Taylor from competing, but Chas had been at her side the entire time. Even though she wasn’t racing today, she seemed content and happy with her life.

Taylor had accepted her injury and that she might never ski at the same level or compete again.

Brynn didn’t understand how her friend and teammate had done that. Was it because of Chas? Or something inside Taylor?

Imagining a life without being on the team, the one bright spot in Brynn’s world, made her sick to her stomach. This was where she belonged. She didn’t want to lose that and her teammates.

Think positively.

Focus on the steps.

Snowflakes twirled and danced on their way to the ground, oblivious of the skiers and spectators, who wished they’d go away.

Skis off, she watched the course to see the next competitor. Her time was faster than Brynn’s. Not surprising, but that meant she would be knocked down another spot.

Tomorrow’s another race.

Coach’s words brought comfort and hope. It was the first time since December she’d felt that way.

Progress?

About time.

Keeping her mother’s secret was destroying everything Brynn had worked to achieve, but she believed something good had to come of this. At least for her family.

Ry came toward her, weaving his way through the crowd with confidence. The ends of his hair poked from underneath his red beanie. His sky-blue eyes contrasted to the gray clouds.

Seeing him made her feel lighter, as if everything might be okay. She’d needed a glimmer of hope to hold onto during this dark time. Funny how he’d been the one to give her that.

“Hi.” He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground.

She inhaled sharply, a combination of surprise and her nerve endings springing to life from being so close to him. He was warm and smelled delicious—a hint of hot cocoa and male, an addictive combination.

“You skied well,” he said.

“Thanks, but I wish I would have been faster.”

“You were fast and focused.” Ry squeezed her tighter before placing her on the ground. “You got over the mental hang-up today.”

“You helped me.”

“A list may have helped you prepare ahead of time, but you did this, Brynn.” Something like pride flashed across his face. “You.”

The noises from the spectators continued, but the sound seemed to be muted. People brushed past, but they quickly faded into the background.

Her legs wobbled as if she’d ridden her bike up a mountain. She opened her mouth to talk, but her tongue seemed twisted and too big. Her senses felt heightened.

All because of Ry.

His warm breath caressed her neck, heating her insides and giving her chills on the outside. She shouldn’t, but she leaned against him. Being closer to him felt…right.

“You finished both races,” he continued. “That’s a win in my book.”

In his arms, she might as well be standing in first place. His lips were only inches away. Close enough for a kiss.

“We’ll work on the physical part next,” he said without missing a beat.

Anticipation surged. Physical with him sounded perfect. Except he meant skiing. She shouldn’t be disappointed.

Focus, Brynn.

She did. “Which part?”

His gaze held hers. “All of them. I’m here for you. I’ll make sure it all comes together.”

She wanted to kiss him.

Her heart slammed against her ribs.

She couldn’t, could she?

Pros and cons battled inside her brain.

Yes, no, maybe. Her teammates were standing around somewhere. Coaches and staff, too. If this were another time and place…

But she was here to race. Win. She didn’t need more distractions, let alone complications. A kiss could be a big complication.

Or a kiss could be simple, no big deal.

Make it fast.

That sounded good to her.

Brynn brushed her lips across his. A simple kiss. A short one. No big deal.

“Thank you.” She expected him to let go of her. He didn’t. “What if someone is watching us?”

“Everyone is staring at the course.” Ry pulled her closer and covered her mouth with his.

Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow.

His lips moved over hers. So warm. So tasty.

She melted into Ry, wrapping her arms around him. His jacket kept her from getting too close, but his lips against hers were more than enough. His kiss heated her blood better than a sip of a peppermint schnapps-spiked hot chocolate after a day on the slopes. Sensations shot through her, loosening her muscles better than après ski hot tubbing.

His hand ran up and down her back.

More. She wanted more kisses, more of him.

She parted her lips, deepened the kiss.

Ry went with her, pressing against her mouth. His hunger made her feel desired and special.

Her control slipped. Her heart pounded.

Stopping the kiss was the logical thing to do. Except…

His kiss changed. Slowed. Softened.

He moved away, stared at her with awe—exactly how she was feeling, as if she’d skied another race and won. Her lips tingled. She wanted another kiss. Lots more.

Ry’s kiss hadn’t been simple or no big deal. His kiss had knocked her world into another galaxy. One that lacked oxygen, made her struggle to take a breath.

The corners of his mouth lifted. His playful—dare she say suggestive—grin made her pulse skyrocket again.

He winked. “Not the physical parts I was talking about, but it’s a good start.”

Her muscles twitched. She doubted that was from the lactic acid built up during the race. A nervous laugh escaped. “I’m not sure what to say.”

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“You kiss better sober than drunk.” As soon as she spoke, she regretted it.

He laughed. “I’m glad you liked this one better, since I don’t remember the first one.”

“Much better. That worries me.”

His brows furrowed. “Why?”

Cowbells and cheers erupted as if she’d hit the unmute button. She took two steps back. As Ry had said, people were staring at the course, not at them. That brought no relief.

Her fingers and toes felt numb. She couldn’t catch her breath.

Brynn worried kissing him had been a mistake. That what little control she’d found to finish these two races would be lost now, and she’d be in a worse place than where she started.

“This was, um, nice, but I’m sorry.” The words rushed out, one on top of the other. “I got caught up in the moment. I can’t afford to lose focus again.”

A vein pulsed at his jaw until a smile spread across his face. “The kiss was not nice. It was hot, but you don’t have to worry. I’ve sworn off women, remember?”

He’d mentioned that, but… “Then why did you kiss me?”

“We were celebrating your run. That’s how we do it on the A team.”

She wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. “I’ve never heard that.”

“Our version of a secret handshake. Only with lips.” He kept a straight face, but unmistakable mischief gleamed. “You should see what we do when one of us wins.”

Self-preservation tamped down her curiosity. He had to be teasing. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“Win tomorrow and find out for yourself.”

Temptation flared like a Roman candle on the Fourth of July. Brynn wasn’t one to walk away from a challenge, but her lips throbbed from his kiss, and this was Ry-Guy.

Yes, he’d helped her succeed today, but her trust in him wavered like the flags on the top of a course. Who knew what he was up to? No one could change that much, could they?

Brynn wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.

She stood taller. “I want to win, and if I do, I want something better than seeing how the A team celebrates.”

“Tell me what you would like, and I’ll make it happen.”

He was saying the right things, but she wasn’t sure if that was enough.

“I don’t know yet.” She tilted her chin. “But chocolate should be involved. Maybe cookies.”

And definitely more kisses.

Except she wasn’t ready to say that aloud. Not yet.