Chapter 62 THE BROTHER
Alex
Alex sat through the entire class in shock. Professor Reed talked about literary theory. Assigned readings. Explained expectations.
Alex heard none of it.
Elias had a brother. An older brother. Who was now his professor.
And nobody had told him.
After class, Professor Reed called him over. “Alex Lee?”
“Yes?”
“Can we talk? Briefly?”
The other students filtered out. Alex stayed behind. His palms are sweating.
“I wanted to introduce myself properly,” Professor Reed said. “I’m James. Elias’s older brother.”
“I gathered that.”
“He didn’t tell you about me, did he?”
“No. Not once.”
James sighed. “That’s typical. We’re not close. Haven’t been for years.”
“Why not?”
“Long story. But the short version is I wasn’t supportive when he came out. Said some things I regret. We’ve been mostly estranged since.”
“Does he know you’re teaching here?”
“He does now. I just started this semester. Took a position that opened up last minute. I tried to reach out before classes started but he didn’t respond.”
Alex didn’t know what to say. How to process this.
“I want to be clear,” James continued. “Your relationship with my brother won’t affect your grade. You’re here on merit. I’ll treat you like any other student.”
“Okay.”
“But I also wanted to say, for what it’s worth, I’m glad he found you. I read about what you both went through. With Carter. You seem good for him.”
“Thanks. I think.”
“I know this is awkward. If you want to switch sections, I understand. I can facilitate that.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Alex left the building and immediately called Elias.
“Hey,” Elias answered. “How was the first day?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you have a brother?”
Silence on the other end.
“Elias.”
“I was going to. I just didn’t know how.”
“How about ‘Hey Alex, my estranged brother is your new professor’? That would have been a good start.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I found out two weeks ago. He emailed me. I didn’t respond. I didn’t think he’d actually mention me in class.”
“He introduced himself as your brother. To the whole class.”
“Of course he did.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about him? In a whole year, you never once mentioned having a brother?”
“Because we don’t talk. We haven’t talked in five years. He said horrible things when I came out. Called me confused. Said it was a phase. I cut him off.”
“And now he’s my professor.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. If you want to switch sections, I’ll help you.”
“That’s what he said too.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. I need to think.”
Alex hung up. Walked to the library. Sat in their old spot on the third floor. The place where everything had started.
His phone buzzed. Des.
Des: How was the first day?
Alex: Complicated. Elias has a brother. Who’s now my professor?
Des: WHAT
Alex: Yeah.
Des: Did you know?
Alex: No. Nobody told me.
Des: That’s insane. Are you okay?
Alex: I don’t know.
Des called immediately. “Tell me everything.”
Alex did. The surprise. The introduction. The conversation after class. James’s apology. Elias’s explanation.
“Okay,” Des said when he finished. “First, Elias should have told you. That’s not cool.”
“I know.”
“But second, it sounds like this James guy is trying. He apologized. Offered to help you switch. That’s more than nothing.”
“I guess.”
“Are you mad at Elias?”
“I don’t know. Disappointed maybe? We tell each other everything. Or so I thought.”
“Talk to him. Tonight. Get the whole story.”
Alex went home at 5. Elias was already there. Sitting on the couch. Looking miserable.
“I’m sorry,” Elias said immediately.
“I know. But I need to understand. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I wanted to pretend he didn’t exist. We’ve been estranged for so long, it felt easier to just not mention him.”
“But he’s your brother.”
“Biologically. But not in any way that matters.”
Alex sat next to him. “Tell me what happened. The whole story.”
Elias took a deep breath. “I came out when I was eighteen. Right before starting college. James was twenty-three. Just finished his PhD. He was always the golden child. Perfect grades. Perfect career. Perfect life.”
“And you weren’t?”
“Not in his eyes. When I told him I was bi, he said I was confused. That I was trying to be interesting. That it would ruin our family’s reputation.”
“That’s awful.”
“It gets worse. He told our parents I was going through a phase. That they should ignore it. Send me to therapy.”
“Did they?”
“No. They were actually supportive. But the damage was done. James and I stopped talking. He went to teach at another university across the country. We only saw each other at holidays. And even then, barely spoke.”
“What changed?”
“He got divorced last year. His wife left him. He had some kind of breakdown. Reached out to apologize. Said he’d been wrong about everything. That he wanted to reconnect.”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing. I ignored the email. I wasn’t ready to forgive him.”
“And now he’s here.”
“And now he’s here. Teaching. Trying to insert himself back into my life through you.”
Alex was quiet. Processing.
“I should have told you,” Elias said. “The second I found out he was teaching. I was just scared.”
“Of what?”
“That you’d think I was keeping secrets. That after everything with Carter, you wouldn’t trust me.”
“I trust you. But Elias, you have to tell me things. Even hard things. Especially hard things.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
They sat in silence. Alex’s hand in Elias’s. Both are trying to figure out what came next.
“Do you want me to switch sections?” Alex asked.
“Do you want to?”
“I don’t know. Part of me wants to avoid the awkwardness. But part of me is curious. About him. About your family.”
“He’ll use you to get to me. That’s what he does.”
“Or maybe he genuinely wants to make amends.”
“You’re giving him too much credit.”
“Maybe. But don’t I deserve to form my own opinion?”
Elias looked at him. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m projecting.”
“It’s okay. But I want to stay in the class. At least for now. See how it goes.”
“Okay. But if he makes you uncomfortable, if he crosses any lines, tell me.”
“I will.”
That night they lay in bed. Not touching. The space between them felt wider than it was.
“Are we okay?” Elias asked.
“Yeah. But you scared me today. Made me realize there’s still stuff I don’t know about you.”
“Like what?”
“Like your family. Your past. The parts you don’t talk about.”
“I’ll do better. I promise. No more secrets.”
“Good. Because I can’t do this if we’re not honest.”
“I know.”
They fell asleep eventually. But Alex’s mind was racing.
What else didn’t he know about Elias? What other secrets were waiting to surface?
The next day, Alex went to class early. James was already there. Setting up.
“Alex,” he said. “Glad you’re staying.”
“For now.”
“Fair enough. Can I ask you something?”
“Okay.”
“How is he? Really? Elias won’t talk to me.”
“He’s good. Happy. We’re happy.”
“Good. That’s good. I know I don’t deserve to know. But I worry about him.”
“Then tell him that. Not me.”
“I’ve tried. He won’t listen.”
“Then maybe you need to try harder. Or give him space. Whatever he needs.”
James nodded. “You’re protective of him. I respect that.”
“I love him. That’s different than protection.”
“Is it?”
“Yeah. Protection is about control. Love is about support. There’s a difference.”
Class started. Alex took notes. Participated. Tried to treat James like any other professor.
But after class, James stopped him again.
“I meant what I said yesterday. About treating you fairly. But I also want you to know something.”
“What?”
“I’m proud of him. For surviving everything. For finding you. For building a life. Even if I can’t tell him myself.”
“Why can’t you?”
“Because he doesn’t want to hear it from me.”
“Then make him want to. Prove you’ve changed.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. But figure it out. Because he deserves better than an apology email after five years of silence.”
Alex left before James could respond.
At home, he told Elias everything.
“He said he’s proud of me?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s rich. Five years of nothing and now he’s proud.”
“Maybe he means it.”
“Or maybe he’s manipulating you to get to me.”
“Elias. Stop. Give him a chance.”
“Why should I?”
“Because he’s your brother. And because holding grudges hurts you more than him.”
Elias was quiet.
Then his phone rang. Unknown number.
He answered.
“Elias? It’s James. Can we talk?“