Chapter 40 GRADUATION DAY
Elias
Elias woke up alone.
His apartment felt too quiet. Too empty. The space where Alex should have been was cold.
He checked his phone. 6 AM. The ceremony started at 10.
No new messages from Alex since 2 AM. Just the ones from last night. The fight. The hurt. The crack between them that Elias didn’t know how to fix.
He got out of bed. Made coffee he couldn’t taste. Stared at his graduation gown hanging on the closet door.
This should have been a good day. The best day. But all he could think about was Alex’s face when he’d walked out.
His phone rang. Katie.
“Big day,” she said. “How are you feeling?”
“Terrible.”
“Why? What happened?”
“Alex and I fought. He left. I don’t know if we’re okay.”
“About what?”
“Carter texted. Asked to talk. Alex wanted me to delete it immediately. I hesitated.”
Katie was quiet for a long moment. “You hesitated.”
“I know. It was stupid. I was just surprised.”
“Did you respond to Carter?”
“No. I deleted it. Blocked him. But not before Alex saw me hesitate.”
“Elias. What were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t. That’s the problem.”
“Do you still have feelings for Carter?”
“No. God, no. I just. The text caught me off guard. I didn’t know what it meant.”
“It meant he’s an asshole who heard you’re doing well and wants back in. That’s all it meant.”
“I know that now.”
“Does Alex know that?”
“I tried to tell him. But he was so hurt. And scared. And I made it worse by not just deleting it immediately.”
Katie sighed. “Okay. Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to get through graduation. Smile for the family photos. Do the ceremony. Then you’re going to go straight to Alex and fix this.”
“What if he doesn’t want to talk to me?”
“He will. He loves you. He’s just scared.”
“I hurt him.”
“Then apologize. Really apologize. Not just with words. Show him you choose him. Every time. No hesitation.”
After they hung up, Elias tried to eat breakfast. Failed. Took a shower that didn’t help. Put on his graduation gown and stared at himself in the mirror.
He looked the same. But everything felt different.
At 9 AM, he drove to campus. The stadium was already filling up. Families with cameras. Graduates in caps and gowns. Everyone is smiling and excited.
Elias felt numb.
He found his spot in the lineup. Other graduate students around him are talking and laughing. Someone asked if he was excited. He said yes. It was a lie.
The ceremony started at 10. Long speeches about futures and possibilities. About starting new chapters. About believing in yourself.
Elias barely heard any of it. He was scanning the crowd for Alex. Wondering if he’d come. If he’d kept his promise to be there.
Then he saw him. In the stands with Des and Sana. Wearing the blue shirt Elias loved. Looking tired but there. Actually there.
Their eyes met across the distance. Alex didn’t smile. But he didn’t look away either.
That had to count for something.
They called names alphabetically. Elias waited through the As and Bs and Cs. His heart is pounding. His palms were sweating inside his sleeves.
“Elias Reed.”
He walked across the stage. Shook hands. Took his diploma. The crowd clapped. His parents are somewhere out there screaming. Katie is probably crying.
But all Elias could see was Alex. Still watching. Still there.
After the ceremony, there were photos. His parents and Katie are surrounding him. Everyone smiling. Everyone proud.
“Where’s Alex?” his mother asked.
“He’s here. Somewhere. We fought last night.”
“A bad one?”
“Bad enough.”
“Then go find him. We can take photos later.”
Elias hugged her. Grabbed his phone. Texted Alex.
Elias: Can we talk? Please?
Three dots appeared. Disappeared. Appeared again.
Alex: Meet me at our bench. 20 minutes.
Elias told his family he’d meet them at the restaurant later. Walked across campus in his graduation gown. Other graduates called out to him. Congratulations. Good luck. See you around.
He barely responded.
The bench was empty when he got there. The same bench where Alex had waited after running from the rose arch. Where they’d had their first real conversation.
Where everything had started to become real.
Alex appeared five minutes later. He’d changed out of the nice shirt. Back to his oversized cardigan and jeans. Looking small and nervous and beautiful.
“Hi,” Elias said.
“Hi. Congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
They sat on opposite ends of the bench. The space between them felt like miles.
“I’m sorry,” Elias said. “About last night. About hesitating. About making you feel like you weren’t my first choice.”
“Why did you hesitate?”
“Because I was surprised. Because part of me wanted to know what he wanted. Not because I still have feelings for him. But because I spent a year wondering if I was too much. If he was right about me.”
“And you thought he’d tell you the truth now?”
“I don’t know what I thought. I just. I froze.”
Alex was quiet. His hands twisted in his lap. “Do you wish you’d responded?”
“No. The only thing I wish is that I’d deleted it the second it came in. Before you saw it. Before it became this thing between us.”
“It’s not about the message, Elias. It’s about trust.”
“I know.”
“When you hesitated, it felt like you were choosing him over me. Even for just a second.”
“I wasn’t. I chose you the second I turned down that grad program. I chose you every day since. One stupid moment of hesitation doesn’t undo that.”
“It felt like it did.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. But Alex, you have to meet me halfway here. You have to trust that when I say I love you, I mean it. That's when I say you’re my person, I’m not lying.”
Alex’s eyes were wet. “I want to trust that. But I’m so scared.”
“Of what?”
“That you’re going to wake up one day and realize I’m not enough. That Carter was better. That you made a mistake.”
“You are enough. More than enough. Carter was a mistake. You’re the best choice I’ve ever made.”
“How do you know?”
“Because being with you feels right. Being with him felt like performing. There’s a difference.”
Alex wiped his eyes. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“You’re not going to lose me. Not to Carter. Not to anyone.”
“Promise?”
“Promise. But you have to promise something too.”
“What?”
“That you’ll tell me when you’re scared instead of running. That we’ll fight through things instead of walking away.”
Alex was quiet for a long moment. Then he nodded. “Okay. I promise.”
Elias moved closer. Alex met him halfway. They sat pressed together. Not quite touching. Not quite separate.
“Can I hold you?” Elias asked.
“Yeah.”
Elias pulled him close. Alex buried his face in his shoulder. His whole body was shaking.
“I love you,” Elias whispered. “Only you. Always you.”
“I love you too. I’m sorry I made your graduation day about this.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s Carter’s fault for texting. And mine for hesitating.”
“We’re a mess.”
“Yeah. But we’re our mess.”
They sat there until the sun started setting. Until other graduates stopped walking past. Until it was just them and the empty campus.
“Your family’s probably waiting,” Alex said.
“Let them wait. This is more important.”
“I don’t want them to hate me for keeping you.”
“They could never hate you. They love you. Katie already texted asking if we made up.”
“What did you tell her?”
“That I was working on it.”
“Are we? Made up?”
“I think so. Are we?”
Alex pulled back to look at him. “Yeah. We are. But Elias?”
“Yeah?”
“No more hesitating. Next time someone from your past shows up, you tell them you’re taken. Immediately.”
“Deal. And next time you get scared, you talk to me. No more running.”
“Deal.”
They kissed. Soft and slow and full of relief. When they pulled apart, both smiling, Elias felt the crack between them start to heal.
Not completely. But enough.
“Come to dinner,” Elias said. “My family wants to celebrate with both of us.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. You’re part of this. Part of everything.”
They walked back to Elias’s car hand in hand. The campus glowed in the sunset. The future stretched out ahead of them.
Uncertain. Scary. But theirs.
Together.