Chapter 272 Cat and Mouse 28

Chapter 272 Cat and Mouse 28
Cat

“I miss you.” Sitting cross legged on the grass. I stared at the black marble tombstone, with tears in my eyes. “I’m

Sorry I haven’t been by for a while. I promise you I didn’t forget you.” Tenderly like he could feel my caress, I smoothed my fingertips over the stone. “Bet you’ve forgotten me though. Bet you are up there.” My smile cracked. “Or down there partying.” Hand flat on the sun warmed stone I finally let the tears fall from my eyes.

I hadn’t cried at all since I had kicked Psych out of my house. Sure my eyes burnt but not one single tear had fallen.

I’d told myself that it was because I didn’t care for him. So why was I here crying over him now when I was at my husband's grave side?

God I was one messed up Kitty Cat.

Psychs pet name for me entered my brain unbidden.

He was the only person in the world that called me that. And I wasn’t even sure when it had started or when I had begun to answer to it.

A sob ripped its way out of my throat, a low strangled sound. Sobbing, I bumped my forehead against the stone.

“Please come home baby. Please I can’t do this without you. I’m not strong enough and I don’t know what to do?” I wailed. Completely past caring if anyone walked passed and heard and saw me. I didn’t mind being the crazy grieving widow because that’s exactly what I was.

“Please baby. I don’t know what to do. Please come back.”

Not since his death had I been so distraught. 

“I met someone.” I admitted in a hiccup. “I betrayed you and- I need you to tell me what to do. I betrayed you.” Incoherent words fell from my lips. None of them made sense. But I knew what I meant.

I’d betrayed my vows to my husband and met someone else. I needed him to come back to tell me he forgived me.

“Please, I didn’t mean to betray you. I need to know you-“

The crackle of leaves behind me made me pause. Straightening I angrily wiped the tears from my cheek, as I twisted my head to stare at Raven.

He stared at me sadly. The flowers forgotten in his hands.

“You didn’t betray him Cat.” He said softly. 

I sniffled. “How long have you been there?”

Ravens tall frame folded in on itself as he came to sit cross legged next to me. “Hey brother.” He patted his fingers on the stone.

“Not long but long enough. I came to tell him about the baby.”

“Do you come here often.”

For a second he stared at me. “He was my best friend Cat. I loved him. So yeah I come as often as I can. Normally when things get tough.” He blinked once, and then sighed. “He never would have wanted you to be alone.” Reaching for my fingers he squeezed. “You have to know that right? And I know the fact that you have been for so long is because of me and the club. We didn’t want you to move on. But this asshole.” Again he patted the marble. “He would want you to meet someone and be happy. In fact he would be so pissed with us. I’ll have to face him in the afterlife for holding you back. Letting go of the past is hard for an old sod like me.”

“It doesn’t matter. I made vows.”

Ravens eyes narrowed. “Yeah I was there remember. It was till death do us part. Cat, he’s dead. And you might as well be. It’s time to let him go.”

Wildly I stared at him. “I love him.”

“And he loved you. You were his entire world and more but he’s gone and I’m watching you fade away and die as well.” Lifting his hand he cupped my cheek. “I’m watching you die in slow motion. And I can’t stand it. Chase would want you to be fucking happy. I promise you he won’t be mad at you.”

My chin began to wobble, and I had to swallow down the sob forcing its way out of my throat. “It’s too late now anyway.” Using the heel of my hands I scrubbed at my cheek. “I ended it.”

Raven laughed. “psych right?”

Blinking rapidly I stared at him. “Did he say?”

“God no. But we all know Cat. Every single person who sees you together knows. It’s in the way you look at him. It was pretty clear that you two were falling for each other.”

I shook my head. “I am not falling for him, I am-“

“He’s leaving Cat.”

My eyes flew open. “What?”

“He’s leaving today.” Steadily the president of the Lost Reapers stared at me. “He came and asked me permission to go back to his chapter today and I gave it.”

My stomach twisted. “But,” I stuttered, stammering over my own words as a new frisson of fear settled in my gut.

“He’s meant to be here to help Daisy and the others. That’s why-“ I sucked in a wet breath. “How can you send him away.”

Sadness seeped into Ravens eyes. “Because he’s in pain Cat. The last few days he’s not been himself. He’s no good to anyone the way he is and he knows it. That’s why he wants to leave. He feels like he doesn’t have anything here to stay for.” Pointedly he met my eyes. “Unless he does?”

I couldn’t help it. I glanced at my husband's tombstone. 

“Chase would want you to be happy.” Raven stated again. “Could you be happy with Psych?”

I didn’t answer at first, I just continued to stare. Raven was right of course. Chase would never have wanted me to be alone. He would want me to find someone and build a life with him.

“I think so.” I whispered under my breath. “I think I could.”

The corners of Ravens mouth twitched. “Go get him then Cat. Go get your man and stop him from going and hurry.”

I jumped to my feet, suddenly hyper aware that Psych was leaving and I didn’t have much time. I didn’t even know what I was going to say to him when I found him. But I would somehow find the words. 

I had to.

“Chase would be so proud of you Cat. He’d be so happy you have found someone. Now go and stop that man from leaving.”

Pressing my lips to the gravestone I closed my eyes. “I love you baby. I’ll always love you.” And I would but it was time I let myself love someone else as well.