Epilogue

Two years later “Mariah has offered to put Sarah to bed along with the governess this evening,” said Maddy in a low voice as she rubbed her husband’s thigh through his breeches. He was wearing an outfit he disliked, but because Mariah had picked it out for him, he had never told her that.

He’d simply accepted the gift, gritted his teeth, and worn the knee breeches despite his loathing for them without complaint. Maddy had been proud of him then, and she was proud of him now. Rather than wear them once and let them disappear, they were frequently seen to rotate through his wardrobe, at least when they were having dinner at home.

He looked intrigued. “Is she? Why would Mama do that?”

She grinned at him. “I believe Mariah thinks Sarah needs a sibling. After all, she is nearly nine months old, and Mariah assures me it is best to have children within a year apart.”

He frowned. “Considering she just had the one, how can she know?”

Maddy shrugged a shoulder. “I did not ask, but I find it a reasonable theory. I would not mind another baby. How about you?”

He paled for a moment, no doubt remembering the stressful night she had given birth to Sarah nine months before. There’d been a lot of blood, and the situation had been touch-and-go for a short time as the doctor repositioned Sarah from breech to headfirst.

“I am content with one child.”

She shook her head. “It would be nice to have a boy.”

He frowned. “Sarah can inherit just as well.”

She smiled, appreciating the words, and she nodded her agreement. “Of course, she can, but I confess, I would like to have a little boy like you. Sarah so greatly resembles me that I feel it would be unfair if we do not have a little boy who looks like you. Indeed, I shall petition God if it does not go my way.” She grinned as she said that.

He smiled as well, though he still seemed haunted. “I swore I would not put you through that again.”

“I am not asking you to. I am choosing to have another child, but only if you wish it as well. Tell me you would not like a little boy, and perhaps I will completely drop the subject, at least for now.”

He hesitated for a moment, and then his shoulders slipped forward slightly. “I would love a boy, but what if he is like me, or like my father?” The question clearly pained him.

She leaned forward and took her husband’s hand, holding it tightly. “Your father was probably like Stefan and beyond redemption, but you have amply proven you are not. Should we see such tendencies in our son, I am certain we can guide him toward a better path. In truth, I feel it is a small risk, especially since he will not be raised by your father, but by us, and Mariah will be here also to provide a steadying presence, so if that is your sole reservation, I beg you to reconsider.”

He looked down for a moment, quiet for so long that she was certain he was going to refuse. When he lifted his head, he said “I was afraid you were going to die when you were having Sarah. I could not bear to lose you.”

She squeezed his hand again. “I know the prospect is terrifying, for it frightens me as well, but I have no doubt that if the worst happens, you will rally on, both for your sake and for Sarah’s.” She no longer despaired that he had that same dark, obsessive love for her that might’ve mired him in despair and led him to a desperate action if something happened to her.

Not that she was eager to die, and she had no intention of doing so. “Dr. Cummings said one breech birth does not necessarily mean every child will follow the same path. He told you the night of the birth, when you so improperly insisted on being in the room, that I had good hips for childbirth, and he anticipated no problems with the future heirs as long as they weren’t breech.”

He nodded, still looking uncertain. “What if he is wrong?”

“There are no guarantees in life, so should we deny anything that might carry a risk? There is a risk of falling down the stairs, so should we move solely to the lower floors? Should we ask the servants to stop washing the floors in case one of us slips and falls before they dry?” She winked at him as she teased him lightly.

“I see your point, Lady Kressley,” he said with cool formality, though it was clearly an affectation as he struggled to regain control of his emotions. When his expression became genuine, his voice softened again. “I would love to have multiple children with you. I just fear losing you, but it is a fear I am willing to overcome to make us both happy.”

“Mutual happiness is all I ask,” she said with a soft smile.

She’d made a great many more demands of him over the last two years, but he had risen admirably to the challenge, and she was confident he would do so when it came to quelling his fear of her giving birth once more, along with his concerns his son might inherit any tendencies his father had passed to him.

She supposed there could be an inherited element, but she tended to think it was more how he was raised than there was some flaw or defect in her husband’s makeup. When it came to Colin, it was just one of the many risks she was willing to take to ensure they were both happy, and she had been happier in the last two years than she could ever recall in her life. She couldn’t see that changing in the foreseeable future, or even fifty years from now.

“I suppose there is definitely one bright side to trying to have a son.” He sent her a sensual gaze that was enough to warm her insides. “We shall be able to dispense with the French letter, and I shall soon be completely inside you again as intended.”

“Very soon, depending on how quickly you can get me up the stairs,” said Maddy playfully as she raced for the stairs. She didn’t care if the staff saw her undignified display.

He abandoned all concerns for his station or dignity as he sprinted after her, soon intercepting her and sweeping her into his arms. He tossed her over his shoulder, and she couldn’t help remembering the first time he had held her that way.

She’d been afraid then, uncertain what he had in mind for her, but sure it would lead to her doom. Instead, it had led to her ultimate happiness, and now she clung to him with gratitude and love as he carried her the rest of the way up the stairs and into their bedroom, dropping her on the bed and soon joining her as they set about the task of creating Colin Nash V.