Chapter 24 Trapped by the King
If I was to escape I couldn't go by the king any more, he would never allow it. If I was to stand a chance at escaping I had to use some other way, I had to get help.
The crushing of branches and twigs reached my ears, the noises making me snap my head to the suspected source. Faye walked over to me, her features soft and her gaze calculative as she stopped before me, "My lady, Ryker says I should inform you that his highness has come around" she smiles, looking over at the gorgeous flowers that lay infront of me. "He is in his chambers at the moment. He advices you stay away for a while, he isn't really himself"
I let my eyes fall from Faye's gaze where I let my thoughts wonder as I stared at the piece of dirt a few steps away from the bush of flowers. Putting on the pair of gloves that sat beside me I started tending to it. "Okay, thank you" I answered coldly.
An inaudible sigh reached my ears as she bowed and walked away not before I got a glimpse of her retreating form. I didn't know how to feel towards everything or anyone in this castle. Everyone was loyal to one person and one person alone, their king. Darius. Everything Faye has been doing was just to get me closer to Darius and initiate our marriage. She didn't really care about me nor what I didn't want, she never actually cared, she was just doing her job and I fell for her charms and sweet motherly affection.
Could I really blame her though?
I felt like I was being chocked and the air wasn't enough no matter how far away from everyone I was. It would haunt me forever, he would. The feelings I knew that were rising in me would be my downfall so, before they could make a home in my heart I had to get as far away from here as possible. I looked up to the party tomorrow as a way to escape. Maybe if I could get the guards away from the entrance doors I could slip out with some maids.
Yes
Looking up to the moon I inhaled deeply, praying for her grace just this once. If she helped me tomorrow night I would never doubt her anymore. I would finally be free, of everything, of all the problems. If I lasted till after the ball I knew a lot would change and escaping would be futile. Tomorrow was my only chance, I couldn't afford to miss it.
~
I took in deep breaths, trying in vein to calm my ever racing heart from jumping out of my chest at the rate at which it kept beating.
Placing two soft knocks on the door I waited patiently in front of the two grand wood doors. The design intricate and so carefully crafted into the wood it looked almost heavenly.
My heart thumped in my chest as I stood there, exchanging my weight from foot to foot. I had never felt so much anxiety fill my veins before. For some reason here I stood, in front of his chambers doors. If I was told a few months back that I'd be here, now in this moment I'd never believe. I'd never believe I'd feel so much guilt from what I said. Anger wasn't an emotion I was used to, neither was guilt but apparently they had become really familiar ever since I arrived at the castle. Recalling the words like venom as they spilled from my lips left me grimacing at my choice of language.
It didn't take a genius to know I was the kind of person to be easily ruled by my emotions and I always acted on impulse. Mother always said it was something I needed to work on but like most of the things she had told me growing up I paid no heed to it. Right now I needed nothing more than a motherly embrace to cocoon me in a warm embrace, hands threading through my hair, undoing all the knots that had formed due to the restless running of my fingers through them. I wanted to cry and pour out all my emotions, all the ones I kept bottled away. I wanted to release all of the pent up thoughts that swarmed through my mind, keeping me up at night.
I wanted to genuinely pour my heart out to listening ears and kind eyes beckoning on me to speak on. But unfortunately I had no such comfort. I was changing and not for the better. I could feel myself getting harder, letting my anger rule my thoughts and actions. Looking back to what I said I couldn't believe I had done such a thing. I lost my temper, with the king. Mother must be so disappointed in me for lashing out like that.
I must admit he had done things that weren't very nice but it didn't give me the right to say those things to him. Dark onyx eyes going rigid, their depths as if breaking. An unimaginable amount of pain hidden behind his catastrophic mysterious irises.
I was better than this. Maybe if I behaved better he'd change his mind and let me go or maybe he won't. It felt so suffocating to have someone rule over my freedom again, just when I had left my previous captors. Was it always going to be like this? Being a hostage for the rest of my life? Would I never experience the happiness mother always wished for me? Would I be nothing more than an object people could possess and misplace when they felt like it?
Thoughts like these were locked up deep in the constricts of my mind, holding my deepest fears.
The double doors pulled open, revealing the big scary man as he appeared in the doorway, pulling me out of my reverie. His gold locks were in disarray, his eyes bloodshot and grim. One look at his dark eyes made me inhale a sharp intake of air, their look full of pain and agony, much more than I knew one person could be able to handle. Eyes meeting mine, the way they lit up could not go unnoticed.