Chapter 23 Please don't cry
When the door was closed I felt all the anger resurface, but this time it was more fueled than before.
"Why?" I asked, my voice barely audible. Darius turns to me, a confused look on his face.
His gaze seemed to have softened as he looked me over, "I don't understand love"
"Why do all this? I don't want this, I don't want to be anyone's queen!" I choked back a sob, tears flooding my vision. "You bring me here, force me to meet these new people, force people to respect me and you won't let me leave. Why!" I scream, walking up so I was staring dead in his eyes. "Why?" My tone drops as I let the anger and hate reflect in my eyes.
"Please Audrey you're shaking-" he tried to grab hold of me but I flinched away, taking few steps back. I could see he hurt that flashed in his gaze as his shoulders fell.
"I don't want this! I hate you! You ruined everything, everything I dreamed of, everything I had hoped for my life" I cried hard, fat tears pouring down my cheeks. "I suffered for 11 years! Do you know what that feels like!?? They played with my emotions told me I would never be anything more than the dirt they walked on, they used me, hit me and tormented me but yet I tried to have hope. The hope that one day I'd be free from the monsters that kept me captive but now here I am wit another monster! You destroyed my hope all for a bond I don't even want, a bond that doesn't even exist!"
I tried in vein to control my breathing. By now maids and guards could hear us but I didn't care. My chest tightened as a sob left my lips. "You ruined everything. Everything is ruined and now I must be expected to marry a monster!" I broke down into sobs, my body shaking and my breath hitching.
Strong arms wrapped around me and no matter how much I tried to restrain they held onto me. I hated him, I hated how his arms around me brought me comfort even if he would still bring me hurt later on. He ran his hands through my hair as I cried my eyes out into his chest.
"Please don't cry" he begged, kissing the crown of my head and whispering coos into my ear. "I know I'm a monster. I don't deserve you, I'm worthless and you're a queen that certainly doesn't need me in her life. I am so sorry" he sounded so sincere but I knew more than to trust him. "I can give you anything, I could lay down my life for you but I can't let you go, please understand"
He held onto me tighter but I shoved at his chest, pushing him away. I stared at him face with so much hatred I knew he could feel it too. "You don't care about me, if you did you'd let me go. Please"
He looked away, shutting his eyes tight as if holding himself back.
"You need a real queen. Someone who can rule beside you. I'm not a queen, I can never be your queen. I will never love you, I'm sorry". I watched his face fall and all the gleam in his eyes dim at my words. I knew something was coming and I didn't want to wait around to see so
I turned on my heel and walked out.
A loud crash echoed behind me..
I stopped dead in my tracks as Ryker ran up to me, his eyes wide and his whole person disheveled. He stops in front of me, his eyes searching me for something, but after a while of observation he sighs quietly.
"What happened?" He asks, his eyes kind and gentle as they assess me
"I-i told him something" I muttered lowly, ashamed of my own outburst few minutes ago. Another loud crashing echoed throughout the Hall making me jerk away from the door, few inches closer to Ryker. "I-im sorry. I didn't mean to i-"
He palmed my cheeks, peculiar violet orbs looking into my dark ones. His touch felt strange and almost wrong somehow. I stepped back slightly, making his hands fall to his sides. He noticed but decided to say nothing on it which I appreciated, I don't think I would have been able to explain why being that close to him just felt wrong.
"It's not your fault princess" he shook his head at me, as if that one action would dismiss all the guilty thoughts that swam in my head.
I felt more than guilty I felt horrible. It was a feeling I had never quite encountered before. I felt responsible for whatever was going on and for some reason my chest seemed to tighten each time I heard something being thrown to the ground.
Could I have been too harsh on him? I could feel this deep pain and longing in my chest and I knew for certain it wasn't any emotion of mine.
"Will he be fine?" I asked, more worried about Darius than my current situation.
Understanding flashed in his eyes and he nodded, a small smile aimed to comfort me played on his face, "Yes he will. He just needs some time alone to himself"
"If you want I can check on his later and inform you" he opted and I nodded, attempting to smile back but I couldn't bring myself to fake it.
Walking off I let my mind wonder to the new feelings and thoughts I knew had made a home for themselves in my heart. The mate bond was definitely stronger than any of us could have thought.
It was pulling us together, tugging at my heart strings to go to him and comfort him even though I was the one who caused him so much hurt. I needed to relieve him as well as myself from this. We were both subject to the bond and neither of us could be blamed for what she did, it was all her and I was pretty certain she would be cackling over my head but I wasn't going to let her laugh at me any longer.
A feeling of determination washed over me as I strolled down the path to the garden. Letting my eyes sweep over the wide landscape I walked down the pasture, careful my dress didn't get caught under my shoes.
Fisting a bunch of the fabric in my hands I continued my journey, settling beside a row of orchids. The smell of pollen, bees and nature's sweet scent wafted up my nostrils bringing me some form of serenity. I felt at home,safe, not threatened or worried I let my mind rest from it's turmoils. I could tell this was a calm before the disastrous storm that was yet to evade my life and unbalance it forever. I tried to prepare for what I knew was to come and what I only hoped wouldn't.