Chapter 71: Lilith P.O.V.

Chapter 71: Lilith P.O.V.
I have kissed troy and even sebastian but neither one of them kissed me like that, like it would actually kill them if they didn’t have their lips on mine. It was consuming and fire and passion, nothing like what I expected kissing him would be like. I don’t really know what I thought would happen when I finally got to be alone with him after the days events but it wasn’t raw passion. 

His hands on my thighs like he needed to feel me, like he wasn’t sure that I was real. He wasn’t scared what his touch might do to me, how he might hurt me like them. It felt wrong the second I realized that I was comparing and contrasting the way they loved me but I couldn’t help it. I can’t help the part of me that loves a part of each of them. A part made for just them. 

“Can we talk now?” I whispered, completely breathless. He nodded and sat down next to me, “I didn’t do that because they got to. I did it because it felt like I was dying.” he smirked, his hand resting on my thigh. 

“Troy didn’t hurt me. He tested my boundaries and I figured out a trigger at the same time.” I blurted the words out. How do I even begin to tell my other mate in a smooth way that my mate wanted to see how far he could go before I turned into a mess? 

“What do you mean?” Reynolds clenched his jaw and I could see a tiny vein by his forehead ready to burst. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have told him the trust, maybe I should have just kept this one to myself. 

I opened my mouth but nothing came out, “I-” But then I clamped my mouth shut. I took his hand that was on my thigh and held his hand, “ You can’t hurt him.” I stated. I wanted him to believe me when I said that he couldn’t hurt him because right now he looked like he would definitely hurt Troy.

“My sweet angel, please tell me what you mean.” He said, the words held so much tension in the air and it really sucked feeling all three of their thoughts at once. Like, it really sucked. I loved and adored to be able to feel what they felt for me but that also meant I could feel their not so great emotions as well. I could feel the dark pulsating anger radiating off of reynolds with a full blown anxiety attack as well. 

What would any other mate do in this situation? I don’t really know mom and dad were dead by the time that I wanted to ask any actual important questions about the mate bond. They were right next to me, at least their bodies were but they were gone all at the same time. It was a very complicated concept to deal with as a teenager and adult. 

He stopped in his tracks. I was so focused on my parents that I didn’t even realize the moment that his anger turned into something I hate so much more, he was sad and a longing was there. So many other emotions coursed through him that I couldn’t even dissect them anymore.

“Did you really watch it?” he asked, there was complete despair in his voice while he looked at me. He looked at me in such a vulnerable way, it made me feel even more broken. 

My eyes filled with tears, “Did I watch what?” I asked, trying to shove my emotions to the side. It has been something that has become so much more difficult in the last few days.

“Did you see your entire family turn into nothing but bones right next to you?” he asked there was a broken-ness in his voice, a croak almost sound that he made while he looked at me. 

“I don’t really remember what they looked like before they became bones.” I cried, falling into his arms. I couldn't stop it this time, there was something so vulnerable and open about what he asked me.

I cried in his arms while he played with my hair and rubbed my arms in such a soothing way, “I’ll do whatever I can to make you feel okay again. To make you feel safe.” He whispered, holding me in his bed. I don’t even remember how we got under the covers but now we are. He has my head resting on his chest while he played with my hair. 

My eyes felt so heavy and I think they closed but I heard voices. The warmth and safety I had felt just seconds ago was gone. He was still holding me but there was a tension, “What happened?” Troy asked. I could tell by the complete authority in his voice and the whispered shout. 

“Troy, stop. We don’t want to wake her. That’s probably the first time that she has slept in a really long time. The first time that she has felt some level of comfort and safety.” Sebastian whispered. The sweetness to his statement made my insides all gushy. 

“twelve years.” i grumbled, rubbing my eyes even though they felt so heavy and swollen. 

“What?” reynolds asked, looking at me like I had said one of the most absurd things. Maybe it was crazy, I have already messed with the idea that I might be complete crazy but it’s hard to recognize at this point.

“You aren’t crazy.” Sebastia said it like it was an insult to him. 

“What?” I said. Even though i knew what he said It felt like I needed a double-take to hear him repeat it. 

“You aren’t crazy.” Sebastian sighed and came to the other side of the bed and sat next to me. 

“You had to adapt and live through situations that we wouldn’t put even some of our most hated enemies through. That includes vampires and all the other burdens. You are a victim of an extreme situation.” Sebastian whispered, his hand running over my thigh. 

For the first time, I actually believed it. I believed that I wasn;t completely crazy and broken. 

“I saw it in her memories.” reynolds claimed and I looked at him. How the hell did he see it? 

“You saw the memories?” Troy asked, something more than jealousy surfaced for the first time since I woke up and he sat down on the edge of the bed. 

“I saw them all, the moment everything about her life as she knew it changed, I saw the months of torture, I saw how they tortured her. I saw her parents before they died. I know who she is!” reynolds shouted.

Why did he care who I am?