Side Story 1-12

Side Story 1-12
I never got the chance to be there for Liam. By the time we made it to the hospital the next morning, he was gone.
He didn't have a phone on him, and we had no idea where he could have gone.

We looked for him, depending on Chase to lead us in his direction. Chase never managed to find him, though. It did seem like he got close a few times, but Liam was always just out of his grasp.
I was so lost for the first couple of months after Liam left that I had to take some time off from work.

I didn't know what to do with myself. I sat around the house most days, just looking at the wall.
I didn't go anywhere, and I didn't talk to anyone except for Levi and Tim.

I fell off in communicating with Paul, so I never told him what happened to Liam this time.
I just stopped responding. I would sit there staring at my phone as it would ring when he called.

When he would text, I would simply clear my notifications so I didn't have to see that he reached out to me yet again.
I carried on like this for two months, ignoring my doorbell and my phone, before Levi and Tim came to my house to tell me I needed to get back to work.

I wasn't really feeling like being around people or dealing with them.
I decided to go back to work, though. Since I had nothing else to do.

My first day back was a little hazy; it took me a little while to get back into the swing of things.
Once I reacclimated myself with work, I started using that as an outlet for the pain I didn't know what to do with.

I buried myself in work, taking on all cases and doing any mundane thing that needed to be done.
A couple of weeks went by in this fashion. Work, home, sleep, work, home, sleep. That was the routine. I needed to be reminded to eat, or I would go a whole day without eating anything.

I was on my way home after another long day at the office. I pull up outside my house and get out of my car, walking to my door.
It isn't until I'm almost to my front steps that I notice the silhouette of someone sitting on my steps.

They stand when I get closer, and when the light from a passing car flashes over us, I see that it's Paul.
I sigh, I knew it was going to come to this sooner or later.

Paul stands there smiling at me timidly before he says, "Hi."

I sigh again before saying hi back. "Would you like to come inside? I suppose it is time we talked."

Paul looks down at his feet for a moment before he looks back at me and nods. "Sure, I would like to talk to you."
I walk up the steps with Paul following behind. I unlock my door and open it, stepping to the side so Paul can enter ahead of me.

I walk in behind him and shut the door. "C'mon, let's go to the living room," I say as I walk in that direction.
He follows me and takes a seat on the couch when we get to the living room. I sit on a seat opposite him, close, but not too close.

Paul looks at me and smiles sadly. "Talk to me, Roxanne. Is it something I did? Are you not happy with me anymore?"

I shake my head quickly, "No, Paul. I know it sounds cliché when I say it's not you, it's me. But that's the truth!"

"Then what, Roxanne? You can't ghost me for over two months with no explanation! I was worried about you! I thought something had happened!" He exclaims, with tears glistening in his eyes.
I sigh, "I'm sorry. I was not in a good place mentally and emotionally. I know that sounds like an excuse, but that's what happened."

"Li-Liam was raped two and a half months ago. Then he left. We don't know where he is, nor do we have any way to get in touch with him."
"I've been struggling to deal with the emotions related to that. I'm so sorry for shutting you out." I say earnestly. I don't want to lose Paul; he's the best thing that has happened to me, bar none.

Paul looks at me, the tears spilling over from his eyes as he takes in everything I just said.
"I'm so, so sorry, Roxanne. That Liam had to go through that, that you all have to go through the trauma of that happening to him. I don't know any other way to get you to see that you are not alone, though, Roxanne!"

"I'm here! Here to listen to your pains, your sorrows, your worries, your dreams, your goals, your fantasies. I'm here for it all, Roxy. Not just the good. It doesn't make me feel good about my position in your life when you pull away from me like this."

"I need you to talk to me. I want that to be the first thought that goes through your head, not just when you get good news, but when you get bad news as well."

I nod, tears beginning to fall from my eyes as well, "I'm so sorry, Paul, it was never my intention to make you feel that way in our relationship. I've only ever had my siblings to rely on, so I'm still struggling with being open and communicative with someone else I love."

Paul looks at me with wide eyes, "You love me?"

I nod, "I do, Paul. I know it may seem fast, but when you know, you know, right?"
He squeals and jumps out of his seat and into my lap.

"Whoa!" I chuckle.

He puts his hands on either side of my face, pulling me forward as he leans in and presses his lips against mine in the sweetest kiss.
"I love you too, Roxy! So much! I wanted to tell you before now, but I felt like it was too soon, and I didn't want you not to reciprocate my feelings."

I shake my head and smile widely at him, "How could I not come to love you? You're funny, gorgeous, kind, smart, and you make your own money," I whisper the last part, "And your hole fits me like it was designed just for me."

Paul blushes and swats me on my shoulder, "Oh, you!"
I laugh heartily. It's been so long since I've felt any kind of joy. I smack myself mentally, because if I had known I could have found relief in Paul, I would have ventured out of my self-imposed isolation sooner.

He sits there gazing at me fondly, then he says, "Please don't shut me out again, Roxy. I want to be there for you in any way I can. For both the good and bad times."
"I don't want just your smiles and laughs, I want your tears and pain too. I want to help you carry everything."

I look at him with so much affection in my eyes. I love this man so much, I can hardly believe that I found someone out there who was made just for me.
I kiss his lips softly, "Thank you, Paul. For simply being who you are."