Chapter 93 WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Chapter 93 WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Desmond
I woke up to a familiar scent.
The only thing was, it was not the scent that I had grown to accustom such peace and good feelings with.
No, it was quite the opposite in fact. It was the scent of the woman whom I had vowed that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with in my life any longer. It was Andrea.
My eyes widened immediately and I pushed myself off the bed, landing painfully on the ground. My heart was thumping against my chest.
What the fuck have I done?
“Hmmm good morning baby”
Everything around me was blurry and it felt like the room tilted over.
“What the hell?”
Andrea sat up slowly, pulling the blanket around herself. My stomach turned when I saw what she was wearing.
That was Kennedie’s shirt.
It was one of the ones that I had never seen before, but that scent, no matter how faint it was, I could definitely pick it up anywhere.
Why was Andrea in Kennedie’s clothes, don’t tell me that I-
Andrea watched my face, her mouth trembling, eyes already glossy ready to push out those crocodile tears if hers if they were absolutely necessary.
 “Desmond, wait. Please don’t look at me like that, like I a disgusting”
I scrambled to my feet, fury boiling so fast it made my hands shake.
 “Why the fuck are you here,” I demanded. “Why are you in my bed?!”
She hugged herself, fingers clutching the shirt like a shield.
“You were hurting during your rut and I- I just wanted to help you”
I scoffed, not even able to fully phantom that she truly believed in whatever nonsense she was spewing out of her mouth.
Help.
The word detonated inside my skull.
“You tricked me with her scent” I said, my voice dropping into something lethal and quiet as understanding slammed into place. “You wore her clothes... to fucking deceive me”
She flinched, but didn’t deny it.
There was no way that she could deny it, not when the truth was just glaring between us.
“I just wanted you to calm down,” she sobbed. “You know that Kennedie can’t give you what you want… I love you Desmond how did you expect me to leave you in pain?”
The fragments from yesterday just came back to me like a freight train. The way that I touched her, kissed her… for god’s sake I let her suck me off, called her names that was only meant for Kennedie. My beast was whining in the back of my head.
I felt sick.
I tried to stand up but staggered back, bracing my hands on the dresser as guilt crashed into me so hard it stole my breath. “Get out,” I said hoarsely.
Andrea slid off the bed, bare feet padding softly across the floor.
 “I love you Desmond,” she cried, like that singular piece of information was going to change anything. “I’ve always loved you, no matter all of our misunderstandings Desmond you know that we belong together…. That girl, she doesn’t know you, not like I do”
I turned on her, rage finally eclipsing the nausea. “You violated me,” I snapped. “You made me to cheat on her!”
My eyes were hard and my chest was heaving rapidly.
I wanted to cry so bad…. It was like my heat was being pierced over and over again by a thousand tiny needles.
I could not blame Andrea for everything, no matter the situation I should have been able to have more self-control, fucks sakes Kennedie meant so much to me, why was I not able to recognize her?
God damn it!
Her tears fell harder. “I did it because I love you!” she said “can’t you get that”
That was it.
Something inside me broke cleanly, like a bone snapping under too much pressure. In two strides I was in front of her, my hand fisting in the collar of the shirt, dragging her up onto her toes.
“You don’t get to use that word,” I growled, vision narrowing. “Not after this.” I said.
Andrea did not love me, she only fucking loved herself… selfish bitch who just left and came back as she pleased without a care for whose life she was going to ruin.
I knew that she was up to something by coming back…. But this?
Her hands flew to my wrists, eyes wide, my breath hitching. I didn’t squeezed harder.
My grip turned harder with each movement of my hands, all it took was a little more and I could snap her neck, just like that.
“Desmond, p-lease” she choked.
I leaned in, my voice shaking with fury I barely recognized as my own. “You don’t love anyone but yourself Andrea, you never fucking have, and now I know it”
Her nails dug into my arms. I pressed harder, watching her eyes bulge out and just when she was about to pass out, I released her abruptly, shoving her back a step like she burned me.
“Get out,” I repeated, louder now.
“I-”
“Don’t make me fucking kill you.”
She stumbled, catching her balance against the wall, chest heaving. For a moment she looked small, broken… I did not give a fuck.
Then her expression hardened.
“She doesn’t deserve you Desmond” Andrea said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “No one deserves you but me”
I turned away, dragging a hand through my hair, trying to breathe past the bile rising in my throat.
I wanted to throw up all of my intestines.
How would return back to Kennedie after I did this to her?
I was an asshole, a selfish fucking asshole who would not even want to let her go even after I knew this would hurt her…. I was not worth it.
Kennedie, she was too good for me.
 “I never want to see you again,” I said, deadly calm.
“You see you are wrong there Desmond, I will never leave you alone”
“You are pure evil”
 She scoffed “I would have you back at all costs,” she said evenly. “Even if I have to hurt Kennedie.”
The room went silent.
My wolf surged forward with a snarl so violent it rattled my teeth. I crossed the distance between us again, stopping inches from her face, every muscle coiled tight with restraint.
“If you touch her,” I said, voice low and shaking, “there will be nowhere on this earth you can hide from me…. I am seriously going to kill you”
For the first time, real fear flickered across her face.
She backed away, grabbing her things with trembling hands, eyes never leaving mine. At the door, she paused, fingers tightening around the handle.
“This isn’t over,” she said quietly.
The door slammed behind her.
I stood there long after she was gone, the room reeking of stolen scent and betrayal. My hands shook as I scrubbed them over my face, guilt filled my chest until I could not breathe.
Kennedie’s shirt lay crumpled on the floor where Andrea had dropped it.
I picked it up carefully, like something sacred, and pressed it to my face, breathing her in, grounding myself in what was real.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered to the empty room.