Chapter 100 DON’T MAKE ME HATE YOU
Chapter 100 DON’T MAKE ME HATE YOU
Kennedie
I was frozen in place for a moment when pure shock took over my entire being.
It was like Marvin did not even notice and kept on kissing me. The feel of his wet tongue sliding over my lips felt different, and not the good kind of different, and no matter how polite I tried to be while explaining the strange sensation, I could not deny that it made my skin crawl.
When his tongue was about to enter my mouth, that is when I was able to get a grip of myself and I pushed him away “what do you think you are doing?” I asked.
He stared at me, wide eyes chest heaving up and down in rapid sensations. He tried to go in for another kiss but I pushed him away firmer this time.
“Just stop it!”
My body felt like tiny electric shocks wherever his hands lingered, then there was this disgusting feeling that was there deep in the pits of my stomach.
I did not want this, no matter what had happened with Desmond, this…. This was not right.
The tension between us was thick, and I watched the emption drain from his eyes “what?”
“I’m so sorry Marvin this should never have happened”
I could not help the way my hand reached to wipe my mouth away, hoping that this would erase the fact that his lips was on mine barely a second ago.
He blinked at me, once then twice like he could not understand a single word of what I was driving at.
“I don’t see you like that” I said my voice certain “you are my friend, Marvin”
His jaw tightened and then he laughed. It was not a warm laugh in any way, it was cold, piercing… nothing at all like the Marvin that I knew.
Did I even really know him?
“That’s all I will ever be to you, huh?”
“Marvin I don’t understand, I-”
He interrupted me “I have been there for you all this time” he was now fully standing up “every single time that you are crying I have been there to pick you up!”
I stood up to and pointed a finger at him, fuming now “if you did all of those so that I would owe you something, then you should not have even bothered!”
His eyes flashed “Owe me?” he scoffed “is that really what you think this is?”
I folded my arms “what I think, is that you have crossed the line”
Something snapped
“For God’s sake Kennedie!” his voice was so loud that I flinched back instinctively but he just went on “what do I have to do for you to fucking see me huh!”
Where was all of this coming from?
The Marvin that I had grown to care for deeply never raised his voice at me like this, and he was not one to swear. I did not know who this person standing in front of me right now was.
I could feel my heart shattering all over again for the second time.
“I have always seen you Marvin… just not the way you want”
“That’s because you are obsessed with going after men who will never appreciate you” he fired back.
“That’s not fucking fair Marvin”
“Isn’t it?” he ran a hand through his hair “First your ex-husband and now you are chasing after a man who will never love you like a lost puppy while I am standing right here”
“One thing is clear though Marvin, and it is the fact that I will never love you!”
We stared each other down, his chest heaving and mine mirroring his.
Here feels different now, smaller, suffocating.
“You are going to regret your decision” he warned.
“Well that is my mistake to make!”
“Don’t be stupid!”
I take a step back from him, my eyes filling with tears.
Something changes in his eyes, and the anger quickly melts away and gives room to regret.
“Kennedie,” his voice was softer now as he spoke “I didn’t mean-”
It was too late now I could not unhear those words.
“I have never hurt you before Marvin” I hated how tight my throat was and how my voice quivered.
“I know and I am sorry”
He stepped closer to me and I moved back.
I no longer felt safe, not here and definitely not with him…. What if this was who he truly was. Cruel, and not the sot spoken person that I thought I knew.
He did not move towards me again, but I saw how much he was restraining himself “I’m sorry… I did not mean to burst out like that. I was just frustrated.”
“That is not my fault Marvin”
“I know” he rubbed his face, exhaling shakily “I just… I don’t even know why I got so heated”
“You shouted at me Desmond”
“I know” he let his head drop.
I shook my head slowly “no”
His brows furrowed “no?”
“I want to leave”
His eyes looked teary “Kennedie, please… come on now, we can talk things out” he begged, he looked torn between coming close to me and giving me space. Good for him, he chose the latter
“I know, but just not now”
“Please”
“Let me go Marvin, I really don’t want to hate you” I said pleadingly
He stepped aside slowly.
The walk to the door felt longer than it should and as I turned the lock, my hands trembled, because I knew, we both knew that things would never be the same between us again.
Once I got to my car, I broke down….. It was all too much for me.
Who do I turned to, who do I trust.
Was I truly destined to be on my own forever?
“Dad I miss you” I said even though I knew that he was not here to hear me. I just closed my eyes and just imagined his arms wrapped around me while he kissed my forehead and whispered “you my dear are the most precious of all”