Chapter 93

I am so angry at Summer right now! I don't understand how she could do all of this and just watch me suffer when the entire time she knew the truth about what was going on. She did this! I am so mad at myself for not realizing it sooner. I forgot about Derek's letter that Jill wrote him. With everything going on, it just slipped my mind. I was so worried about Derek that my mind wasn't there to see clearly, and now I have no idea what happened to his letter. If I had just remembered it, kept it with me, and gave it to him when he woke up none of this would have happened.

I am so worried about the fact that his letter is missing. Can I forgive him for all that he has done to me for the past month? I know how bad he's going to feel, especially for treating me so badly. I want to forgive, and I want things to go back the way they were, but is it really going to be that easy? I love him still, but is that going to be enough?

As Jill and I walk into Summer's room, I see her and Faithlyn playing. I ask Jill, “Jill, do you mind taking Faithlyn so Summer and I could have a talk?”

She answers, “Of course I can.” She holds Faithlyn and says, "Come on my beautiful sweet girl.”

I wait to begin the conversation until Jill leaves with Faithlyn. I look into Summer's eye as I walk closer to her trying to hold all my anger in. “Now, are you going to tell me what you did?”

She rolls her eyes at me, “God, such the drama queen. Do you know how much I hate you?”

I look at her with confusion, and I'm not sure how to respond to what she just said.

“Before you and Brittany came along, Derek was mine. Then you bitches came and stole him from me!”

I'm confused. Is she an ex of Derek's and he he never even noticed her? I say, "Are you fucking kidding me! What are you talking about?”

“Oh my God! You're such a stupid girl! I don't know how the hell you're able to fucking survive on your own.”

I tried to control myself. I really want to punch her in the fucking face, but I step back because I want to know her story. I want to know how she did it and who was involved. I have a feeling that my mother was involved since Derek told me to ask her what happened. Truth be told, this bitch has no idea who the fuck she is messing with. I might seem innocent, but I am furious.

She looks at me and smirks, "You want the story? Fine. Here it is. It was so easy to persuade Jill. Once I got the position, I was happy. I figured all I had to do was become the nanny and walk around in little skirts, and eventually Derek would just notice me and fuck me. After he cheated on you, I figured you would probably just leave because you're such a fucking sissy. When Jill called me and needed my help, I was so excited to finally see Derek.

Then I find out that he was in a fucking coma like seriously, what can I do now? So, when Jill gave me the letters, I knew what I had to do. After I gave them to you, I came up with a plan. You were so distracted that you didn't even realize that I took his. I always saw you leaving with your dad, so I figured you and your mother must not have had a good relationship. So, Faithlyn and I paid her a visit when you and your dad were at the hospital. I convinced her that Derek was a danger to you and the baby and that we had to get rid of him to save you. I got her to write the letter. Then I paid the hospital to give it to him when he woke up.

“You fucking bitch! So all this time you just sat by and watched him treat me this way because you wanted him?”

“Oh please, it's not like you can do anything about it now. I didn't break the law.”

I walk up to her and she smirks in my face. That's when I get so angry that I pull my arm back, and I punch her right in between the eyes. She falls to the ground as I laugh, “I might not be able to do anything about it, but I sure as hell can do that!”

“You fucking bitch! I think you broke my nose!”

“If you don't get the fuck up and get out of my house I am going to break more than your fucking nose!” As I watch the blood pour from her face, I feel no pity. She deserved it. I look at her once again and scream, "And I want Derek's actual letter so he is able to read it! You have fifteen minutes to give it to me and get out!”

I then turn around and walk out the door. I'm shocked at what she had planned and how I was blind and too oblivious to see it. I knew when I met her that there was something off about her. I just had a feeling, but I trusted Jill more than my instinct. None of this is Jill's fault. Everything she did was to protect us, and I know that. I am also surprised that my mother did what she did to protect me. I wish that she would have said something to me, but Summer was very convincing. I am not really sure why my mother cared about our protection because she never cared before. Then I wonder, maybe deep down she does actually care and love me.

I go to find Jill and Faithlyn. I tell Jill everything that has happened, and she's furious. I don't blame her for being upset, she was fooled just like the rest of us. I can't believe that all the pain that I have suffered in the past month was all because of a jealous ex-girlfriend. I tried to let it all escape my mind just for a little while, so I decided to go spend some time with my daughter.

As I lay on the floor with Faithlyn, I'm singing to her while she's laughing. I finally feel some relief that maybe everything will be ok. I know it's going to be hard to forgive Derek for what he has done. I also know that jealousy can do awful things to a person. I do love him, and I want to work things out for Faithlyn. I am just taking things day-by-day I guess.

Jill walks back into the room saying, “I took care of everything. She is gone, and she wanted me to give this to you. It's Derek's letter.”

“Could you do me one last favor please?”

“Of course, anything!”

“You don't have to do it right now, but could you put the letter on his nightstand so he sees it?”

“Of course I can! Also, I want you to know that Derek is not a bad person. He's going to feel awful for what has happened.”

“Jill, I know that Derek is not a bad person. You don't have to tell me that." I look at the time and I realize how late it is so I tell her as I gesture to Faithlyn, “Well Jill, I have to get this one to bed. I'll see you in the morning.”

“Yes my dear, sleep tight. I'm sorry that all this has happened.”

No matter what, she always tries to find the good in Derek. There is so much good, but there is also so much bad. I just try to stop thinking about everything that has taken place tonight. I go and prepare a bottle for Faithlyn. Then, I sit in her rocking chair to feed her and watch as her Eyelids get heavy. She finally closes her beautiful eyes. Once she is in a deep sleep, I get up and put her in her crib. I look at her thinking about how lucky I am. I lay down on my homemade bed and hope for a better day tomorrow.