Chapter 88 Fear Of Losing Her (II)
Calhoun's POV
"Will she be okay?" Clarke, Alpha Gregory's son asks quietly as he glances at Kristen's unconscious body on the bed.
Clearing my throat, I reply, "Yes." then tuck my hands in my pants as I clench my jaw hard because it's been six days and there's no sign of Kristen regaining consciousness.
Even in Kristen's unconscious state, her lips are still full with this faint pink color. Although she's not wearing lip gloss, her lips are always like this. And right now my brain is making me remember the kisses I've shared with her. The feel of her soft lips on mine and how she had moaned into my mouth.
The first time I kissed her, her moan was shaky, the second was inaudible and the third came out of abandon because I was giving her small butt gentle assaults.
I curse myself inwardly because I'm not supposed to allow such thoughts to form up in my mind when she hasn't woken up.
I don't even know what is wrong with me at this point. Maybe because I come here often and stare at her often, more than I am supposed to. That is the main reason why my mind always pulls me towards the kisses.
It's hard to not let my mind dwell on them because these thoughts at times give me hope that Kristen will wake up from this bed.
"We're still getting to know ourselves, but I really miss her," Gregory tells me, and I watch how his shoulders rise and fall, which gives out that he's inhaling and exhaling. He looks away from Kristen to me, with blue eyes glassy with tears. While I remain silent because I don't know what to do or say at this point.
He knows Kristen is the one who went after him and saved his life. So he has kept that in mind this whole time.
Barely thirty minutes ago, one of his father's butler arrived with him. Told the nurses that he had been throwing a tantrum since he heard the news of Kristen's condition. So they asked for my permission before letting Alpha Gregory's youngest come to me.
Clarke, who shouldn't be more than ten keeps telling me that he was a bit close to Kristen and I am left wondering if Kristen kept checking up on him before Layla's funeral.
"Will she ever wake up?" I am pulled out of my thoughts when he asks me this.
And I give him a firm nod as a reply. Because I don't want to break his little heart by telling him I have no idea.
"I don't want her to die like my mom." Clarke's voice is shaky and he begins to cry.
My mouth parts not because I want to speak but because I am lost for words.
And my heart breaks on hearing his soft sobs.
He astonishes me by hugging my waist as he sniffs, while I have my eyes widened in their sockets because this is the absolute first time I am being hugged by a child. And I can feel my heart melt as I wonder what it actually feels like to have a son. A son with my mate.
Right now, his body is shivering unendingly and I can feel my hand stretching downward with my brain having no clue on what to do because I don't know how to cheer up a weeping boy. Clarke is the first child who's come this close to me, the first child to hug me. And it's all happening because of Kristen.
"She'll be fine," I assure him, letting my hand fall back to my side. Because I cannot bring myself to touch him.
"What if she dies like my mom?" He asks through a hiccup as he raises his head up to show me his tear-stained face. "Why won't she wake up?"
"She'll be fine, kid. She's just in a very bad condition." I breathe out.
Clarke starts to speak but gets interrupted when the door jerks open and his elder brother, Ben comes in.
He throws me and Clarke a swift glance then goes to sit on the side of Kristen's bed, before pulling her hand in his.
I grind my teeth because he's trying to get on my nerves. Despite the warning I gave to him, he still came here.
I can perceive that he's beginning to go crazy because he's not hiding his feelings for Kristen anymore, unlike the first time.
Just because he fucking thinks I don't deserve her. When she's my
mate.
He has no right to act this way. The fact that he's nine years younger than me has given him too much privilege to be disrespectful and act like a dickhead.
Clarke pulls away from me as he glances at Ben who's stroking Kristen's hand.
It's taking everything inside of me to not beat the shit out of him right now. Because this is too much to handle.
But on the contrary, he might be doing this to get into a fight with
me.
"You'll need to train when you wake up, so you can defend yourself from any form of attack." The bastard tells Kristen. There's sadness evident in his voice.
"You should've been with me and none of this would've happened. I am younger, I can protect you with my life," He breathes out with a smile through the pain on his face. Then he strokes on her hand even
more.
I scoff, staring incredulously at the coved ceiling because this isn't happening.
How in the seven hells can he do that in front of me? When he knows I can pin him to the floor within a matter of seconds.
Ben is already growing wings and going out of control. It's high time
I kick his ass out for good. I have been tolerating too much,
something which isn't the usual me.
"Are you allowed to touch her like that?" It's Clarke, staring at his
big brother with a small frown.
And Ben shifts his gaze from Clarke to me, and me to Clarke.
"He's mated to Kristen," Clarke stops to point at me, "and not you,
brother."
Ben chuckles before keeping Kristen's hand at her side.
"You're not supposed to be here, little brother," He says quietly,
with a smile on his face.
"You're being mean and I hate it," Clarke blurts out, coming to stand
beside me. It's quite surprising that he's taking sides with me instead
of his elder brother. That's enough to show that Ben is in the wrong for behaving like this.
"The feeling is mutual, little brother," Ben still has that sick smile
on his face.
"Do not speak to the kid like that, he's your brother for goodness sake." I harden my jaw when I direct this statement to Ben.
Before he can speak, a knock comes in two rows and I permit the door to be opened.
"My apologies for the disruption but we need to leave." It's Clarke's butler. "Now come along young lad, we've overstayed our visit, your elder brother will take over." He beckons to the boy.
Reluctantly he leaves my side and accepts the hand held out to him.
Clarke gulps and then shoots me a questioning look, wordlessly asking me if he's allowed to visit Kristen. There's the look in his eyes that gives out he cares so much for Kristen, more than I can ever
imagine.
"You can come whenever you want," I say and Clarke's face breaks
off into a small smile.
"Leave," I order, turning to Ben when his younger brother is led out.
Ben looks at me with thinned lips, and eyes emotionless.
"I am not talking to you as your father's friend but as an Alpha."
Wordlessly, he rises to his feet and then heads towards the door. Not before throwing me one last look of disdain through his shoulder.
I let out a low heave of relief when the door closed shut, indicating that Ben isn't here anymore.
Ben had plans of marrying Kristen before he found out she's my
mate. He even told his father to pass the message to me, something
to which I gave no response to, until the evening of his mother's post -funeral reception, where Kristen was getting humiliated after Natalie told the truth. And then I came out in the open and made it known to everyone that Kristen was my mate.
Ben has despised me ever since then. Because the woman who he's always wanted was mine. Even though I was married to her mother as of then.
Ben couldn't hide his hate for me. He was disrespectful whenever we crossed paths and never behaved rightly.
understood that he was pained because I knew he had feelings for Kristen and was planning to make her his Luna.
And I knew when I faked my death because of Alpha Ezra, Ben
thought I was out of the picture and he finally had a chance with
Kristen.
Until I made myself known after taking away my disguise.
He was so shocked to see me. I can still recall the pain and disappointment in his eyes upon knowing I wasn't dead and Kristen would not go to him anymore.
I don't even blame him for hating me this much, maybe I would have
felt worse had I been in his shoes.
But since Kristen was rescued from Jack and taken into the pack
hospital, he's been coming here every day. Their exams just started,
this I heard from Kristen's friends. And immediately Ben gets done with his papers, he comes here.
I take a hard hurtful gulp and then ball my fingers into tight hard fists, upon knowing Kristen is missing out on her exams. Still, what's more important is for her to wake up. It doesn't really
matter if she misses out on her exams. She can still rewrite them next year. I just need her to wake up and I'll be okay.
I raise her hand up to my lips then press a soft kiss into her open palm, before rubbing her palm between the both of mine. Because what I savagely yearn for at this moment is for her to wake up
And look at me with those big hazel eyes having several emotions clouded in them.
I want to see the tiny beads of sweat that always perch on her nose
when she's unsettled, mostly because she knows my gaze is fixated
on her.
It's torturous to see her like this, to keep hoping when nothing is even happening. The pack doctors are still trying to find something to revive her from her vegetative state.
I want to see her slightly apart lips that will blow out a soft breath and cause a blonde strand of hair to fly over her face, and she catching the curly strands and tucking them behind her ear. Having
little or no clue that her every action is being observed by me.
I curl my free hand into a fist and clench it because I'm fighting against the sudden urge to touch her lips.
Lips that felt so soft and tasted so powerful that I felt tipsy when I kissed them like I was consuming more than my average liquor intake.
I stayed like this with Kristen. With her hand clasped tightly in mine.
I cannot tell if it's minutes or hours, but I know I stayed until it got
dark.
Until her friends come in.
I stand up to take my leave because they need their own privacy with
her. Mostly the tallest who is completely broken, with dark circles under her eyes that are puffy from crying.
They don't go to sit behind Kristen just as I had expected, instead,
they remain standing, waiting for me to leave. Which is a tribute of high regard. They bow their heads in respect to me and I do the same before finally leaving my mate to them.