Chapter 87 Fear Of Losing Her (I)
Calhoun's POV
It's been three days since it happened.
But it still feels like it happened yesterday.
This is the third time something terrible has happened to Kristen within the space of a month.
The second fucking time.
The first was on the yacht when she tried saving the Alpha Gregory's youngest and had a near-drowning experience.
Second, she got kidnapped by Jack the Rogue Psycho and was in a bad position when I rescued her from the underground prison. But then she was unconscious and she's been like that since.
The head pack Doctor said Jack gave her something very poisonous and it knocked her out. Jack did this because he did not want me to have Kristen to myself, in case he lost a fight with me. Something which happened.
And now I am confronted with the harsh reality that Kristen will be in this vegetative state for some time. She might even die through this way.
A part of me is glad Jack and his accomplice are dead.
It was Bruce who tore his limbs off his body and lastly knocked his head off.
It was a horrible way for Jack to die, but still, it didn't measure up to the amount of pain and trauma he caused the innocent women.
These liberated women are yet to recover from all they suffered at his hands because he tortured them mentally, emotionally, and physically. Still dishes out harm because of the sadistic psycho that he was. Thankfully he's gone and that's the end of his chapter.
The other part of me feels awful because Kristen hasn't regained consciousness ever since the dreadful occurrence. She's in this position because of what Jack forced down her throat.
It's been three days and she's being tended to by Greyhound doctors, yet we don't know if she'd live or die.
I was told that it was unlikely for her to be alive. Because of her paralyzed body. Yes, what Jack gave to her didn't only knock her out, it also paralyzed her body. The pack doctors are still trying to find the cure for it.
And I can't help feeling all shades of worse because I am scared. Scared I would lose my little mate and the child she's carrying for me.
When I first took her to the pack hospital and the doctor did a quick check-up on her, then he told me the child was still there but Kristen needed to wake up, so it would not die.
While Natalie burst into tears and fell to the floor, claiming it was all her fault. Because she wasn't a mother to Kristen.
I have never seen Natalie cry this way over anything. Not even when I handed her the divorce papers to sign them.
She cried in a way that I had no idea a person could cry as much as she did.
Nana Joyce is also aware of the current state of Kristen. She keeps visiting, and silently stays with Kristen for a few minutes, before taking her leave. She does this every day because she's aware Kristen is carrying my child. A child who will make her a great-grandmother at last.
Natalie, with guilt in her eyes, finally signed the divorce papers.
She told me I was free to be with her daughter, and then she abandoned her wedding ring on the table, before finally leaving.
But not before checking up on Kristen, crying and holding her hand.
recalled how my heart swelled up in my chest at the sight because Natalie was being a mother to Kristen. Something Kristen had yearned for in a long while.
While Ben, Alpha Gregory's son, has been moody since. He hardly left her side like he was her husband. He doesn't even speak to me or anyone. And despite hating this and feeling overly jealous, I let him. Not because I lack the courage to warn him off, but because guilt is doing an awful job at eating my insides, reminding me it's all my fault Kristen is in such a state. And I have no right to tell Ben off.
If only I had protected her at all costs and never let her out of my sight, none of this would have happened.
Right now I am in her room, watching the small frame of her body that is covered with the white counterpane.
I take a hard hurtful gulp as I stare at her, remembering the night she approached me and requested I get intimate with her. And then I saw her the following day when I was to wed Natalie.
A whole lot transpired between us in such a short period of time. But I love her dearly and I am not willing to let her go just like that. She's suffered way too much since I marked her to be mine again.
It's hard to live every day, upon knowing she's still the same and she's showing no sign of waking up.
If Kristen had chosen to be selfish and stayed with me just like I had offered, Jack would've been unable to kidnap her. But she was afraid she was hurting Natalie so she chose to avoid me, right after Natalie collapsed when I gave her the divorce papers to sign.
She still cared so deeply for Natalie even when the said woman hurt her countless of times. That's how soft-hearted Kristen is.
Even when Natalie is undeserving of her affection.
It feels like being with me gave Kristen a stroke of ill-stinking luck because there's been chaos left and right since I marked her to be
mine again.
Seth, the head pack doctor informed me she has several venoms in her system from Jack's injections. He said the venoms worsened her condition. And if she will be able to wake and shift into her wolf, paralysis would wither away, but the deadly venom still needs to be sucked out.
This made me stare at Kristen's unconscious body for long hours during the day because I am hoping and wishing she would wake up. Every part of her body is covered with the white counterpane, save for her head because she needs more of natural air to flow freely into her lungs.
Even when I sought the aid of other pack doctors, none of them
could help her.
And it's making me lose my sanity.
Right now, her dyed black hair is still shiny and soft when I run my fingers over them. The curls are untangled as they're spread out on her pillow, making her appear even older than her age, with her face
pale.
I place two of my joint fingers on her nose and there's a faint breath coming out of it. Which reads that she's between life and death. Yet she looks so adorable even in her unconscious state. Her beauty is a rare kind, that you won't know through just a glimpse unless you stop and stare.
I know it's so weird and unlike me to always come here to her room, and watch her unconscious body, but I cannot stop myself. It's really complicated knowing she's in this position because I let her go.
I always come here twice a day, just to watch her beautiful innocent
face, praying in my heart that she doesn't die because we still have a lot ahead of us and a baby on the way.
I sit on the bed at her side and place my hand on top of hers which is very small, delicate, and pale.
I let my mind drift over to Natalie, her mother. wondering if she'll
return for her daughter or if she'll spend the rest of her life avoiding us. It's been hell since the day we got married and thankfully it's all over now. She finally signed the divorce papers and left.
Although Kristen and Natalie aren't alike, even though they're both mother and daughter. Natalie was loud, bold, and had a jovial spirit. Kristen is the total opposite. Quietly reserved, placid, and cool-
headed.
Natalie is 5 '10 feet tall with generous blonde hair with long legs.
Kristen on the other hand is 5'4, more feminine with subtle curves and she dyed her blonde hair black.
Now I don't want to remember her legs because each time I do, I
fantasize about her naked body and it's not even the right thing to do when she's yet to wake up from her vegetative state.
And it makes me feel like I have turned into a person with a twisted
sense of values because she's battling to stay alive.
But I still let my thoughts dwell during the times we made out
because it helps me stay sane.
Letting the wave of several emotions wash over me, I let out a low
heave before pulling my hand away from Kristen's surprisingly warm hand as I rise to my feet.
"I do not deserve you, but please stay alive for your friends and
everyone else who loves you. Do not die, Kristen. Stay awake so this baby in you can live." I audibly make this plea, with a sickening feeling running through my gut that she's dying.
Every day her friends come here to check up on her, I give them the
privacy they need but sometimes I hear them talk about how she needed to wake up because of how fast their exams were approaching.
Indeed her final year exams are in a few days and it just worsens the whole thing.
Everyone is eagerly waiting for Kristen to wake up, praying to whatever they can, because she deserves to live more than anything. She's still the reason those women Jack abducted over the years were
liberated. If Jack hadn't kidnapped Kristen, they would've been there by now. Three months ago, I was a different person, I never knew what the
moon goddess had in store for me. That Kristen was already on the way to bring out a change in my life. I loved Natalie at that time but
when I met Kristen and realized she was my mate, my whole perception of love changed.
I can still remember the evening at the museum, when she had
admired that creepy painting and was in complete awe, with her
small hands wavering that I knew she was having a hard time from staying out and not running her fingers along the painting. And the night I engaged her. She reluctantly accepted the ring because she was still afraid of her mother, and thought more about
the woman than even me who was there with her.
That's how much Kristen loves Natalie.
My shoulders rise and fall like a balloon that is being poked with a
tiny needle when I let out a big puff of breath this time.
Shoving my hands in my pants pocket, I cast my head to the ground,
head out, and close the door shut behind me.
She's still not awake?" Bruce asks when I make my presence known
in the dining room, where he's seated with men from my pack.
"No," I reply and clench my jaw.
"Fuck, how long can this continue? It's been three days." The look
on my Beta's face is as if he's had a shit in his pants. Something I would have found funny if we were under a different circumstance. "I don't even know what to do," I let this out and sigh heavily.
The whole table is suddenly quiet and I can see some of my men casting pitiful glances at me. They know how helpless I have been these past few days, and they know how much Kristen means to me.
"I thought it was all over when we rescued her from Jack, but from
the look of things, it's getting worse with each passing day. Kristen needs to saks up." Bruce has this look of fear on his face as he stares
at me.
While I take a hard hurtful gulp and say nothing else.