Chapter 142 The Talk
Kristen's POV
"I can explain," my voice is low when Calhoun stops in front of Aiden's crib.
Our son is fast asleep but the cut above his eye is close enough to show that the fall could have made him blind. He seems so pure and troubled even in his sleep. And I don't want to think of the times he's cried, yearning for my presence.
It's an hour after the Game Of Alphas, and we arrived home like this. Calhoun is still very much shirtless, his bleeding has stopped but he still has the bruises. Mostly on his face
"You caused this," Calhoun's voice is quiet with accusation but his gaze is still fixated on our sleeping son, and I can't fail to notice how he's clenching and unclenching his jaw.
"You never should have left him," Calhoun continues.
"I know and I'm so sorry," I plead, hating myself for the umpteenth time tonight.
And Calhoun shifts his gaze to me, before shooting me a flat look that swiftly forms knots in my stomach.
"Being sorry changes nothing, our son is hurt because you left him alone," this time Calhoun's blue eyes are cold, and his voice even firmer.
"I know, it was stupid of me," I can't even argue with him at this point because he's right.
And he closes his eyes for a split second before sucking harshly in his breath. More like he's trying to keep his temper in check so he
wouldn't lash out at me.
"Aiden is barely three days old, Kristen. New mothers don't even leave their children with maids until they're over a month old." He says when he opens his eyes to look at me once more.
It's hard to break our stare exchange when I know he has every right to be mad at me
"I've never had a child before, nor did I stay around nursing mothers. It never crossed my mind that he'd get hurt this way," I explain myself even when I know it doesn't make any sense nor will it change a thing.
"And so you left him under the care of maids, trying to prove what to me?" Calhoun folds his arms across his chest as he stares at me with nothing but utter disappointment.
"That I can perform the Luna's rite," I blurt out and immediately feel twice as bad as I did before.
"For fucks sake, I was never going to stop you," Calhoun almost yells at me but then he stops upon remembering there's a sleeping child in our midst and he doesn't want to make him up.
"You weren't?" My eyes are wide in their sockets after my brain fully comprehends Calhoun's words.
"No," he replies immediately.
Oh my god. I facepalm inwardly. Because all this while I've had the wrong impression about Calhoun. I can't believe I've been so dramatic for nothing.
"I knew you had to do it anyway, and I couldn't interfere except I wanted to go against customs and that would've invited a curse to me and everyone in this pack," Calhoun explains, with his eyes boring into mine.
I am at a loss for words at this moment. Feeling all shades of worse because I wasn't sensible enough.
Aiden raises his hands slightly, before yawning and cooing. And then he opens his eyes to Calhoun
My heart quakes in my chest when Calhoun's face softens with so much affection for our son, and then he picks him up by himself.
"I am so disappointed in you, Kristen. You're selfish for a mother and you don't even know it. Care about yourself alone and you don't even pause to think if your actions will affect our son," Calhoun puts Aiden's head on his shoulder and strokes his back.
The sight of a father and his son spreads warmth through my chest
I bow my head in shame because he's right. Although it hurts, it's a good thing he's not being soft on me. He's a father after all, and doesn't want his son to get hurt.
"We're not alone anymore, Kristen. And I am sorry if my words are harsh and hurtful to you, it's just that we're not alone anymore. We have a son."
"You're right Calhoun, and it's okay if you're mad at me." I gather all the courage within me to tell this to his face.
And Calhoun curses under his breath.
"I hate being upset, mostly when it has to do with you." He stares at me like the old way he used to, and I can feel my heart relaxing.
We're pulled away from the stare exchange by Aiden's cooing. He's yet to fall asleep.
"I might be a clumsy young mother but I assure you that this will not happen again," I rasp out, as I fix my gaze back to his father.
"Don't disappoint me anymore, Kristen," Calhoun's voice is soft and
a bit commanding.
"I won't," I respond.
"Now with the incident tonight, and our son who almost lost his eye, will you still distance yourself from me?" Calhoun inquires.
I shake my head no.
Calhoun puts Aiden back in his crib and beckons on me to come
closer.
"Aren't you stressed?" He asks.
"Do I look it?" I raise a brow.
"No, you've amazed me so much these two days," Calhoun lifts my chin so I can meet his eyes, "you weren't faking anything?"
"No, you called me a weakling and I don't want to be perceived that
way anymore," I can feel the weight being lifted from my shoulder
as I made this confession.
"I would never call you that, it's just that I think you need to be protected at all cost," Calhoun tucks my hair behind my hair and
tries to smile at me, but then he winces in pain.
"Does it hurt that much?" I ask, searching his eyes.
"It does but I'll have to endure until twenty-four hours to get healed.
"He tells me.
"You've had a much worse experience," The words leave my mouth before I can even stop myself.
"Now you sound like Bruce," Calhoun's eyes twinkle with
amusement.
"He was with me at the Game and left to check up on Aiden when he
heard the news. I was torn between staying and watching you and running home to check up on Aiden. He could see that I was so scared you would get eaten by the sharks, so he volunteered to look after Aiden," I conclude breathlessly.
And there's silence as Calhoun examines my face.
"It must have been tough for you," he murmurs as he strokes my cheek with his left thumb.
"It was, but I'm glad it's all over now." I barely finish before Calhoun pulls me into a warm embrace.
This takes me off by surprise and my body literally melts against his.
"If you weren't pretending to be brave, then Kristen, I like this new you." He confesses as he buries his head in the crook of my neck.
I am at a loss for words this time, but I can feel my heart swelling in my chest. I never expected him to say such a thing to me. "And I believe you'll do great at the Luna's trial," Calhoun adds before pressing a quick kiss to my hair.