Chapter 56

H A R R Y

What did she mean by that?

Did she mean it literally?

Silence, there was silence between us and I was just utterly and indescribably confused. She didn’t answer while her eyes were looking all over the entire house. Her eyes looked like she was searching for something inside the house and at the same time she looked like she was in distraught. She looked so lost, sad and completely puzzled with her own thoughts inside her head.

“Are you alright baby?” I holler.

She nods and looks back at me, “Yes. Just…. Just a little… awake.”

I tried to ignore what I heard from her about hearing them in her head and just walked towards her, “I thought you fell asleep?”

She shakes her head, “I can’t.”

“Did you even try?”

She nods. “Yes. These days it’s just hard for me to sleep.”

“Should we visit the doctor?”

“No.” Her voice was firm. “No need for that.”

I take her hand to mine, “Hey, let’s go back to sleep. Shall we?”

She nods and smiles before we walked up the bedroom.

I still hear their voices in my head. Those words never left my mind.

The next morning, I was excited spending time with my twins while Lindy goes to school. The entire morning went well and I had a very tiring morning from taking care of my son and my daughter. The lads called in to check on me and most importantly they wanted to see the babies. They kept me company for a while as we talked through group video call while the twins were asleep.

“Something wrong Harold?” Louis asks me.

I pulled my head up, “No.”

“I know that face. Come on, spill it out.”

“Well… Umm, there’s just something off with Lindy these days.” I say.

“Off?” Niall parroted.

I nod. “There’s something different about her.”

“Well.” Zayn chimes. “She just survived from that horrifying night and she just gave birth. Of course she would feel and think differently.”

Liam nods, “Yeah. She could still be traumatized. Also, aren’t women supposed to go through post-partum after giving birth?”

“I guess that solves it.” Niall answers.

“There’s just something else.” I responded.

“What do you mean?” Louis asks.

“Just last night, I woke up in the middle of the night without Lindy next to me.” I narrated. “I thought she was int he twin’s bedroom but she wasn’t there. When I went downstairs, I saw her locking and unlocking and locking over and over again the doors and windows of the house.”

“What?” Liam gapes. “W-Well, that is not quite normal.”

Zayn and Niall nods.

“Maybe she is just going through something.” Louis says.

“I just wish I know what.” I answered.

I flinched as soon as I heard a loud banging sound from our bedroom.

“What’s wrong Harry?” Niall asks.

“I… I will call you back.” I tell them before I ended the call and headed out of the bedroom. I made sure the door was closed before I marched my way to our bedroom where I heard the loud thud.

I entered and looked around, nothing was touched and no one was there. As I was about to leave, I hear murmurs inside the room which caused me a heart attack thinking that it was a ghost or an entity. I paused and looked back inside the room where I see the closer subtly opened. It was where the soft murmurs were coming from. I begin to approach it softly.

“Is anyone there?” I called out.

The murmurs were still continuing. As soon as I grabbed the closet door open, I was astounded to see a curled up Lindy murmuring all these words to herself as she placed her hands behind her back as if she was tied.

“Lindy!” I fell to my knees and hugged. “What are you doing there?” I asked her as she continues to murmur words to herself. “I thought you were in school?”

She shakes her head, “I hear them Harry. I see them too. I’m so scared. I am so scared that they will do that to me. So much blood. There was so much blood. Oh my God!”

She cries hysterically as I hold my arms around her while she continues to cry. I feel gutted seeing her like this and I knew something was wrong. I knew something was different from her with the way she looked at me and the way she has been talking to me for the last couple of days.

“I’m here.” I reassured her as I try to choke a sob. “I’m here Lindy.”

That night, Lindy had fallen asleep after she took the sleeping pill that Doctor Fox had recommended to me after I told her about Lindy’s recent condition. She mentioned that this might be from the post-partum or possibly Lindy is having a hard time coping up with the trauma from that night.

I remember how Detective Martin described the crime scene which he mentioned that the house seemed like a blood bath. There was blood all over and the stabbing happened right in front of Lindy which could have traumatized her. He even told me that base from Lindy’s statement, she hid inside the dresser where Bailey had force her to since they were playing hide and seek.

That was what she did earlier. She was hiding and it seemed very much alarming to see since the look in her eyes were screaming fright and trauma to me. I hate to say that she is hallucinating, but earlier she seemed as if she was still tied as she placed her hands behind her. And she did seem like she was seeing things. Also, she keeps saying that she still hears them.

She freaking hear the voices of those two dead people.

Something is really going on.

That night, I was on the phone with Martha while I was guarding Lindy to sleep. I told her about everything regarding Lindy and she had mentioned that she is quite alarmed too because she has witnessed Lindy’s distant glares and disturbing behavior which are not normal to her.

“There was this one instance when you were not around.” Martha narrates. “She… Ummm… Well… She was curled up on her bed one night with her hands behind her back and… she kept crying and murmuring words to herself like ‘Somebody save me’ and ‘I need to save my kids’.”

I sigh as I glance at the sleeping Lindy. “Why you didn’t tell me about it earlier?”

“Because I don’t want you to think that she is crazy.”

I purse my lips, “She’s going through something.”

“She must have been deeply traumatized.”

I sigh again.

“How is she now?” Martha asks.

“She’s sleeping soundly.”

“That’s good. When I come around and visit her, she always tells me she cannot sleep at it because she has a lot of things going on in her head.”

“Do you think it’s okay to… seek for professional help?”

Martha paused, “Like a… psychiatrist?”

I take a long pause before I finally answered a low, “Yeah.”

“Well…” She trails off as she pauses for a couple of seconds too. “I think you should ask her parent’s decision first before doing anything. You know how her father reacts.”

I nod, “Maybe I should talk to them tomorrow.”

“Alright, don’t worry once you go back on tour, I will guard her.”

“Thank you Martha.”

“No worries. She’s my best friend and her condition and mental health is much more important to me.”

In the middle of the night, while I was in my deep sleep, I jolted up from my bed as soon as I heard a long scream of horror. I pulled myself up and found a hysterical Lindy crying on the floor while her hands were shaking.

“Lindy!” I hollered and rushed to her side.

“Harry! I saw them!! They are here!! They are going to kill me! Harry!!” She cries as soon as she crashed onto my arms.

I held her as tight as I could and felt really hurt and sad seeing her like this. “It’s okay… I’m here. No one is going to hurt you.”

“I hear them Harry!!” She cries. “They are coming after me!”

“No, no one is after you.” I cooed as I feel my tears forming behind my eyelids. “No one is chasing you. They are not real, Lindy. I’m here. You don’t have to worry.”

She cries frantically onto my chest while I kept hugging her and calming her down for an hour. She looked utterly scared as if what she was seeing and hearing was real because I can see how her hands, arms and legs were trembling.

After two hours she had finally, fallen back asleep. I messaged my manager that I couldn’t join the next leg for the tour since Lindy needs me the most now. I decided to stay here than leave Lindy in this condition.

Morning came and Lindy just sat on her seat in the dining table but she was not eating. Martha just arrived and helped me with the twins since I had to have the talk with Lindy about asking for professional help since her behavior was not really normal.

She was going through something.

I was able to explain to her parents about what Lindy’s recent actions had been and they were also quite alarmed by it. Her parents decided to fly here to check on her and to show her support and to guard her kids when Martha and I will be busy with our own lives. Mr. Swanepoel had already gave me permission for this step that I will be doing for Lindy.

“Lindy?” I called out.

Her eyes were distant.

“I was thinking if…” I trailed off. “You keep having nightmares that causes you sleepless night and… Maybe, we can ask for a professional help on--”

“I am not crazy.” She spats.

I sigh, “I know. I know you’re not. I just… I think with all the things that has been going on, you need someone to talk to and maybe… someone that--”

“I told you I am not fucking crazy!!” She yells at me.

“This is not you.” I tell her.

Her eyes softens, “Sorry. I’m just… I feel so agitated all the time. I always feel like I am on the edge and…. I always feel scared always.”

“We can ask for help. It’s okay to ask for help.”

She shakes her head, “I am not a lunatic.”

“Lindy, just because you ask for help from a psychiatrist, does not mean you are crazy. We all need to ask for help from someone.” I say. “Look at you. You are always having nightmares and sleepless nights. You’re irritable. You… You have these actions which aren’t you and it’s alarming for me and Martha. You’re always absentminded and you always lose your focus on things.”

I shake my head sideways, “That’s not the Lindy I know.” I added.

“But… what will the people say?”

“The people will understand. Anyways, who cares about them? Your mental health is far more important than anyone else’s.” I reach for her hand and held it in mine as I begin to sit closer to her. “You don’t have to be afraid. I am here. Martha is here. Your parents are here and Avery too. The lads will support you and I am sure the twins will be doing the same thing.”

I smile at her, “Let’s do this together.”

She smiles back at me and cries, “I do need help Harry. I always hear Griffin and Bailey. I always see blood everywhere. I always here see horrible images from that night and I am always afraid of going anywhere.”

I held her tight, “I am here.”

Lindy began her session with Doctor Daphne Watts, a professional psychiatrist who has been working in Saint Francis Sanitarium. It is a place where aids people who are mentally unstable and helps them with their mental issues. Lindy had her first screening and physical test where Doctor Daphne was very much hands on.

After their session, Lindy was sent to a room where she was aided with a nurse so I can talk with Doctor Daphne alone. As soon as Lindy left her office, the doctor then told me that Lindy was experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. It made sense why she was having these hallucinations and why she was hearing things which are not even there. It explained why she was always so moody, irritable and all other sorts because she was mentally ill. She told me that Lindy’s condition, she needed to be away from everything so she can isolate herself and find herself again.

“Are you saying that she needs to be admitted in this facility?” I ask her right away.

“Harry, the facility will help Lindy.” She tells me.

I shake my head sideways, “I don’t like that. Lindy is not crazy!”

“Being admitted here does not mean someone is crazy. She needs intensive treatment for her trauma. She needs time for herself so she can help herself heal.”

She needed to be saved from her own thoughts.

“No.” I answered firmly. “I wont allow her to be in this place.”

A week after she started attending her sessions, Lindy and I were inside the twin’s bedroom. She was carrying Emerald while I was changing Ezekiel’s diaper. She talked to me about her session and thanked me for being supportive.

“Harry?”

“Yes?”

“I talked with Doctor Daphne today.”

“About?”

“Being admitted to the asylum.”

I quickly stared back at her, “Lindy--”

“I want to do it.” She says firmly with calm and eager eyes while cutting me off. She smiles at me, “I want to help myself heal. I want to find myself again. I want to find my happiness again.”

I carried Ezekiel in my arms as I walk towards her, “Being admitted means you wont be able to see me, your family, your friends… and the twins.”

She cups my cheek with one hand, “I want to do this for me and for all of us. It will be a few months anyways, I guess.”

“But Lindy….”

“I want you to support me.”

I sigh heavily as I nod. “Okay.”

The next day, Lindy had admitted herself to the mental facility.