Chapter 41 Jerome's Craving
Jerome’s P.O.V
I didn’t realize how thin the line was until it snapped.
I had lived my entire life balancing on edges, violence and restraint, loyalty and brutality, control and chaos. I built my empire on knowing exactly where every line lay and never crossing one unless I intended to burn everything on the other side.
Aiyana though, she wasn’t a line but a fault, and Gerald had stepped directly on it.
I felt it the moment the words left his mouth.
No shout or drama.
Just spoken in the middle of an argument that had already gone too far.
“You don’t get to dictate who she connects with,” Gerald had said, eyes hard, voice stripped of its usual humor.
“Especially when you won’t even admit what you feel.” I remember staring at him, confused more than angry.
“What exactly are you saying?” I asked.
He laughed then. Bitter and sharp. Nothing like my friend who almost never had a serious bone in his body until it was life and death.
“I’m saying I care about her.” He replied. “I’m saying I see her, and I’m saying I won’t pretend I don’t want her just because you’re too afraid to claim her.”
That was when something inside me went cold.
Not rage. Not yet.
Recognition.
I had known Gerald all my life. I knew the cadence of his lies, the swagger he used to hide things, the way he deflected when something mattered too much, and in that moment, there was none of that.
He meant it.
He wanted her.
And the realization did something ugly to me.
It crawled under my skin and sank its teeth into something primitive, something I had spent months burying under discipline and bloodshed and rules I forced myself to live by.
I remember stepping closer to him without thinking.
“Careful.” I said quietly. Not even knowing whether I was really threatening my best friend or not.
He didn’t back down though, and even took a step closer “Or what? You like her but you would prefer to take one step forward and several backwards. The only thing you give her is confusion and I can give her more than that.” He spoke dangerously low, meaning every single word he was uttering.
He didn't have to say he meant it, I could tell that he did.
My whole blood boiled in anger but I was aware enough to know that everything he said was right.
I didn’t answer him, I didn’t trust myself to because what I felt had nothing to do with logic or brotherhood or reason.
It was possession.
And it terrified even me.
Now, hours later, I paced my office like a caged animal, replaying every moment that had led here. Every look Aiyana gave me when she thought I wasn’t watching. Every time I had forced myself to step back, to keep my hands to myself, to speak softly when every instinct screamed to pull her closer and never let go.
I had restrained myself for her.
So she wouldn’t see me as what the world saw when they whispered my name.
So she wouldn’t think I’d saved her just to own her, but my control was slipping, and the worst part was that she made it impossible without even trying.
She looked the same as always, with nothing but plain clothes, soft fabrics, nothing designed to draw attention, and yet every time she moved, every time she bit her lip in thought or looked up at me with those eyes that didn’t flinch the way everyone else’s did…
She was irresistible.
Mouthwatering was the word my mind kept offering, uninvited and unwelcome.
I hated that my body reacted when she was near. Hated that I noticed the curve of her mouth, the warmth of her skin when our hands brushed, the way my name sounded different when she said it.
My heart ran unnaturally just from the thought that I had never touched her the way I wanted to.
Never allowed myself to, because once I did, I wasn’t sure I’d stop and Gerald knew it.
That was the worst part.
He’d seen it. In the way I positioned myself between her and danger. In the way I watched her when she laughed with Noah. In the way my voice softened only for her.
He’d seen the crack before I had.
A knock pulled me from my thoughts.
I didn’t answer.
The door opened anyway.
Aiyana stood there.
Barefoot. Wrapped in one of my hoodies like it belonged to her which, felt so right.
She didn't know what she was doing to me. Sleeping next time her had been high bliss and suffering. I couldn't sleep if she wasn't next to me, but being next to her awoke every nerve in my body.
“You’ve been restless.” She said softly.
I clenched my jaw.
“You shouldn’t be here.” I said, looking away from her like it would help me be less aware of her presence.
“I know.” she replied. “But you look like you’re about to tear the house down.”
She wasn’t wrong.
I turned away from her, gripping the edge of my desk until the wood creaked under my fingers.
“You shouldn’t have to deal with this…” I said. “With me.”
She stepped closer. I felt it without looking.
“Is it about Gerald?” She asked with a little frown that indicated worry but the close proximity wasn't helping matters for my dark mind.
The air shifted.
I knew she had caught on, when her breath caught.
I stepped closer before I could stop myself.
“Do you know what it takes for a man like me to hold back?” I asked, my voice low. “To wake up every day and choose restraint when everything in him is built to take?”
She didn’t move. Didn’t retreat but the rise and fall of her chest told me that even though she was flustered, she was definitely not ready to take what I wanted to give.
“I’ve wanted you,” I admitted. “From the moment you looked at me like I wasn’t a monster, and I’ve done nothing about it because I refused to be another man who claimed you without asking.”
My hands curled into fists at my sides.
“And now I find out my closest friend wants you,” I continued, control fraying, “and I’m supposed to be the calm and dangerous leader of the Black gang but I cant. I don't want to”
Her voice was barely a whisper. “Jerome…”
“I don’t know how to share,” I said. “And I don’t know how to pretend I don’t feel this.”
I stopped inches from her.
Too close.
Dangerously close.
“If I lose control,” I warned, “It won’t be gentle.”
Her gaze dropped to my mouth.
Then back to my eyes.
The silence between us stretched, vibrating with everything I was barely holding back.
And somewhere deep inside, I knew… but before either of us could move, the door slammed open behind her, and Gerald’s v
oice cut through the room.
Knowing that he did that on purpose to interrupt us, I lightly pulled her waist, kissing her before she could even react.