Chapter 77. A farewell
The alarm sounded in the background. For the first time, I really wanted to ignore it, stay in bed with Lilly, and wake up late. To set aside that discipline, that obsession that everything had to be on time.
"We have to get up," she whispered against my chest, one leg entwined with mine, an arm under her pillow, her hand wrapped around my waist. I could feel her warm body against mine.
"No," I grunted. "I don't want to move." My voice sounded quite hoarse.
"Come on, you're the owner of the company." She paused. "You have the press conference." I opened my eyes at those last words.
"Can we stop time just a little longer?" I said, starting to get irritated. She moved to create space and looked at my face. I closed my eyes immediately.
"I saw you, open your eyes." I pouted. "Come on, open them." I opened them and turned my head from my pillow to find her brown eyes. "Good morning, Johnson."
"Good morning, Bradley." She smiled.
"Come on, to the bathroom and get ready." I nodded defeatedly, knowing I'd have to leave her.
Exactly an hour later, we were both sitting in the main dining room, one that was rarely used. I even questioned why I had bought it. The housekeeper had outdone herself with breakfast, impressing not only Lilly with her praises but me as well.
"I hope that even when Lilly's not here, you can spoil me like this," I said as the housekeeper placed a small fruit plate at a certain distance from my plate. I could see she held back a smile.
"I always spoil you, Mr. Johnson."
"Liar. I've never seen a table so well prepared." Lilly smiled and shook her head in my direction. "Oh, I get it, you're trying to impress my guest."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Johnson." I could see amusement in her eyes, just like Lilly's.
"We have fifteen minutes to leave," Lilly suddenly said. I stopped the cup against my lips and furrowed my brow, turning my gaze to her.
"You woke up very bossy today," I pretended to complain. She let out a laugh, one that made my heart race completely. I set the coffee cup down beside me without taking my eyes off her laughing. Seconds later, she was wiping the corners of her eyes, something that had caused the laughter.
"I didn't wake up like this, I just want us to be on time at the company," she said sincerely, caressing my hand closest to her. "That's all." She winked at me and continued eating from the plate of chopped fruit the housekeeper had prepared for me.
After fifteen minutes, we were walking through the underground parking lot toward the car waiting for us—since reporters were at the main entrance. Richard greeted us both, and we got in and headed to the company. At nine, I had the press conference to clean up my company's image. Upon arrival, before parting ways, I kissed Lilly as if my day depended on it. As we separated, she gave me a lot of encouragement. When we got out, she took the employee elevator, and I took the private one that would take me directly to my floor. When the elevator doors opened in front of me, I walked straight to the double doors of my office, but my secretary stopped me.
"Mr. Johnson," I stopped in front of her desk.
"Tell me." I looked at her closely, noticing the tension in her and that she glanced at the waiting room. Then I realized there was a woman there. I didn't recognize her at first glance, then I realized it was Arya. I clenched my jaw tightly. "Don't you know what a restraining order means?" I didn't let her answer and looked at my secretary. "Call security and my lawyer."
"Wait, wait," Arya began to say hastily, approaching us.
"Miss, don't come any closer," my secretary suddenly said. Wow, even I was surprised. "Keep your distance from Mr. Johnson."
"I just need to talk, then... I'll leave, and you won't hear from me again."
"That's a very tempting offer," I said, dripping with sarcasm.
"Please," she used a serious tone with a hint of pleading.
I pressed my lips tightly. I debated for a moment whether to let her into my office and listen to her. I looked at my watch and saw it was ten to eight in the morning. I would listen to her and then get on with the press conference.
"Fine." I looked at my secretary. "No interruptions unless it's important." She nodded and then gave Arya a look. I gestured for her to enter the office and closed the door behind me. "Take a seat," I pointed to the couch closest to her. "Something to drink?"
"No, thanks." I noticed she looked around the place in awe. "So this is your office..." she murmured before sitting down.
"Yes." I unbuttoned my jacket and took it off to hang it on the back of my desk chair, then I headed to the couch in front of her. "Talk," I said sharply. Inside, I was trembling with anger, feeling the hollow in the center of my stomach, making me quite uncomfortable.
"Now I see how you feel even though we haven't seen each other in years..." I shot her a "Don't push it" look. She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath before exhaling through her teeth. She looked at her hands in her lap for a moment, then when she lifted her gaze, I noticed determination. "I want to apologize for what happened years ago."
"Fine. Is that all?" I sprang to my feet, surprising her.
"No. Can you sit down?" I returned to my seat. "I won't take much of your time, just ten minutes."
"Ten minutes?" I sounded eager for her to leave. "Fine, if it can be less, go ahead. Speak. I have a press conference to attend."
"Alright," she cleared her throat. "I know you know that Máxima and I..."
"I know. I never thought she'd be your ally."
"Why do you want to see her as a villain? She only told me trivial things about your life, that's all."
"However you want to put it, she was disloyal to me."
"But it was my fault, not hers. She regrets it deeply." I let out a huff of irritation.
"She must regret it a lot," I said sarcastically. "So much that she wanted you and me to get involved again despite everything you put me through, all the trauma you caused me. She knew it, and yet she was determined to gain benefits. What more benefits did she want from all the ones I already gave her?" I stopped my words and frowned. "Are you breaking a restraining order just to come and plead for her? Is that what you're doing?" My annoyance grew, one I could no longer control. I stood up immediately.
"Jackson..."
"No." I took a breath and then released it slowly, recalling images of Lilly this morning laughing, how she looked at me when I told her I wanted her in the car, how she caressed me, when she said those words: "You might be used to doing things alone, facing them alone, but I came into your life just like you came into mine." I smiled. "And as long as you allow me to stay by your side, you can find in me a strong pillar to lean on for strength... If you just want me to listen, I will." I realized that at this moment, I was leaning on that pillar, finally gaining the strength to move forward. "I can't believe what I'm about to say," I couldn't help but frown, then I looked at her from my place. "I forgive you." She opened her eyes wider than usual. "I forgive you," saying those words, something in me was released. "I forgive you for humiliating me, for making me believe I would never deserve the best in life if it wasn't you." She paled.
"Jackson..." I raised my hand in the air to signal her not to speak.
"I'm serious, I forgive you Arya, and I forgive myself for holding on to the belief that I didn't deserve to be loved, valued, cherished..." my voice broke, she stood up but didn't move from her spot. "I'm tired of carrying this," I pointed to both of us. "Someone else loves me and I love her, despite seeing my scars, she loves me for the man I am." My lower lip trembled. "And I won't ruin it for anything in the world."
She softened her gaze.
"You won't ruin it," she whispered with teary eyes. "Despite what I did to you, despite the mark I left on you, you rose to the surface, to the world, you gave yourself the chance to let someone else in," she pressed her lips to hold back a sob, I noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks. "I just realized that... you're no longer the Jackson I knew. And I'm glad, I couldn't leave this world without asking for forgiveness." A lump settled in my throat, preventing me from saying anything else. "In a week, I have surgery," she pointed to her heart. "And it's a high-risk surgery, and..." her voice broke, then she immediately pulled herself together, "...I needed to let go, let you go, and let us go, to ask for your forgiveness."
"What?" my voice finally came out.
"I want to ask for your forgiveness, Johnson." She paused briefly to wipe her tears. "That's why I've sought you out, I can't keep postponing my surgery any longer."
"I'm sorry, Arya."
"I know," she took a breath again and as she released it, she smiled. "It's time to move on, Jackson." She softened her face. "Can I give you a hug one last time?" I nodded slowly, she opened her arms and I went to her, as we hugged, she broke down, crying for a couple of minutes more. When we separated, she smiled despite her tear-streaked face. "Take this advice," she paused to wipe her tears. "Life is short, it slips away when you least expect it, don't let pride rule the moment, listen first, forgive, love, cherish... don't waste time searching for what you already have in front of you: A new beginning." She turned to take her purse from the couch, and when we faced each other again, she smiled once more. "Máxima doesn't know about the surgery, she only kept me updated on your life for years without really knowing my reason, but she's not bad... about her press conference, pride has taken over. Just listen and then make your own decision."
"Alright," I said in a low tone.
"I'm leaving, take care, Jackson. And I wish you all the best in the world... always."
"Me too..." Then she came closer to me and left a kiss on my cheek, before walking to the exit and disappearing, just like everything I had been carrying with me...
The pain she had caused me, our past.