Chapter 36 Intermission
Chris Point Of View
The school day had finally come to an end, and I found myself lingering in the hallway, not quite ready to face the chaos of the cafeteria or the endless chatter of students rushing home.
Instead, I drifted toward the empty corridor near the gym, where I could just watch him.
He was sitting on the bleachers, biting at his fingers-a bad habit he doesn’t want to get rid of, no matter how much I tell him to-, he was also lost in thought, completely oblivious to everyone walking by.
The late afternoon sunlight spilled through the windows, casting a warm glow on his honey brown hair and his broad shoulders.
I stood a few feet away, hidden in the shadows, silently admiring him.
God, he's perfect. Not in some superficial way, I mean, yes, he's gorgeous, but it's more than that.
It's the way he carries himself, the kindness in his eyes, the way he listens when others speak, even when he's tired or distracted.
That effortless charm, that genuine smile, it's all so captivating, I always find myself lost in his smile.
I watch him then pick at the hem of his hoodie, a small, almost absent-minded gesture.
His face is calm, peaceful, like he's caught in some moment of quiet reflection.
I wonder what he's thinking about.
Probably not about me, that's for sure. But that doesn't stop me from imagining.
I've been doing this for months, you know.
Just standing here, watching him from afar, letting my heart swell with feelings I can't quite put into words.
It's like I'm mesmerized by a constant, unchanging portrait of someone I secretly adore.
Sometimes, I catch myself wishing I could tell him. Wishing I could walk up and say, ‘Hey, Kyle, I've been watching you for a while and I think you're amazing’. But every time I try, my voice gets caught in my throat. My courage disappears like vapor.
Instead, I just stand still, taking in the details I love so much.
The way his eyes light up when he laughs, even if it's just at a silly joke.
The way he tilts his head when he's concentrating.
The slight crease between his eyebrows when he's deep in thought looks so sexy on him.
My gaze drifts lower, and I notice the way his hands move, fingers tapping rhythmically on his knees, a subconscious habit.
I wonder if he knows how mesmerizing he looks in these quiet moments.
I breathe in deeply, trying to hold onto this feeling.
This simple, pure admiration. It's a bittersweet thing, loving someone from a distance, knowing that I'll probably never be more than just the guy who watches from afar.
But in these moments, none of that matters.
It's enough to just see him like this, unguarded, relaxed, real.
I wish I could tell him how much I admire him, how much I look up to him, how he's become this small, constant presence in my mind. But I know I never will. Not really. Not aloud.
Instead, I just stay rooted here, in the shadows, letting my heart beat quietly in my chest.
Because sometimes, loving someone silently is all you can do, cherish their presence in your life, even if it's just in your thoughts.
And so I keep watching, letting the warmth of the late afternoon sun mingle with the warmth I feel inside, a feeling that's as gentle as it is forbidden.
Maybe one day, I'll find the courage to tell him.
Maybe one day, he'll see me the way I see him. But for now, I'll just admire him from afar, grateful for these stolen moments of quiet love.
Because in this quiet admiration, I find a kind of peace, a brief, beautiful moment of knowing that some feelings are too precious to speak aloud.
I let out a sigh, before turning away, I need to get ready for the party, it’s in an hour and I still haven’t gotten the house ready.
I gave him one last look before I walked over to my car, got inside it and drove off.
I could have given him a ride but I just know he was waiting there for some girl he was about to sleep with before he attends my party.