Chapter 35 Intermission
Chris's Point Of View
The locker room was a sanctuary and a battleground all at once, but that’s what you get when you have a group of young men in a room together.
The scent of sweat and soap mingled in the air, echoing the sounds of shuffling feet, lockers slamming shut, and whispered conversations.
“Yeah we fucked last night and it was heaven” I heard one of my teammates say as he walked by
“Sweet” another one replied dabbing up the other boy.
I rolled my eyes and just instead tuned their conversation out and just continued with what I was doing.
I've been here a thousand times before, but today, everything feels different.
I stand by my locker, pretending to find something in my bag, but my eyes are fixated on him, Kyle, he’s one of my closest friends, and we’re neighbors too.
We’ve spent our childhood together with our parents being friends and constantly having us and our siblings do things together.
He's leaning against the row of lockers, flipping through his phone, I just know he was flirting with some girl.
His hair is damp from practice, his brown curls sticking to his forehead, a faint sheen of sweat on his brow.
I watch him from the corner of my eye, feeling that familiar ache in my chest.
God, I've liked him for so long. Longer than I can even remember.
It's like this secret part of me that I hide even from myself, this unrequited love that's been quietly growing, silently aching.
Kyle doesn't notice me. Not really. Not the way I wish he would, he only saw me as his friend and his neighbor and sometimes it hurts me.
Today, I decide to do something different. I need to talk to him.
I need to know why I feel this way, why he's so effortlessly cool and kind, and why I can't seem to get close to him.
My heart pounds just thinking about being with Kyle in a romantic way.
I gather my courage and take a step toward him.
My palms are sweaty, and I feel my face flush. I catch his eye for a brief moment, and he offers a quick smile, just a flicker of warmth, but enough to make my knees wobble.
"Hey, Kyle" I manage, voice cracking slightly.
He looks up at me, eyebrows raised in that easy, curious way of his. "Hey, Chris. What's up?"
I shuffle nervously, trying to find the right words. "Uh, not much. Just, you know, here. After practice. What are you up to?"
He shrugs, leaning back against the lockers, his muscles flexed as he did that and that honestly did something to me. "Just hanging out. Trying to avoid a shower, honestly. The smell is brutal today."
I chuckle awkwardly. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I think I'm going to skip the shower too. Some days, it's just not worth it."
‘I would much rather take a shower with you instead’ I almost said but fought against it.
Kyle laughs, a genuine, warm sound that makes my stomach flutter.
I want to say more, to tell him how much I admire him, but the words stick in my throat.
Suddenly, Demi walks into the locker room, Alex right behind him.
Demi looks curious, eyes darting between Kyle and me as he walked by.
"Hey, guys," Demi greets. "What's going on?" Alex gave us a nod to which Kyle and I gave back.
“Hey” he said.
Before I can speak, Demi turns to me. "Chris, you did well in today’s practice, I think Alex can learn a thing or two from you"
“Heyyy” Alex said offended at his best friend’s comment.
I let out a light laugh. "Thanks man and yeah, I can teach Chris a thing or two” I said smirking at Chris-who happens to be one of my oldest friends-.
Demi grins as he stared at Chris. Chris rolled his eyes and walked away.
Kyle chuckles and walked after Chris, catching his Attention.
Demi just smiled at me “I’ll catch you later, I have to shower” he pointed towards the stalls.
“Sure. See you at the party?” I asked
“Alex won’t let me miss it” he told me before walking away.
I find myself alone with Kyle again, he walked back to me. The air feels thick, heavy with unspoken words.
"Hey," Kyle says softly, breaking the silence. "You okay?"
I nod, trying to sound casual. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just... thinking."
Kyle smiles gently. "Cool, I gotta go" he said “I’ll see you at the party”.
Those words echo in my mind long after he's gone, fueling my hope and deepening my ache.
I watch him walk away, feeling both happy and hollow at the same time.
Why is it so hard to tell someone how you feel? Why does love always seem so one-sided?
I lean against my locker, staring at the spot where Kyle had been, wishing I could turn back time or somehow make him see me, like really see me.
But for now, I'll keep my feelings hidden, buried beneath layers of quiet longing. Because loving someone from afar, that's all I've ever known.
And maybe, just maybe, one day, I'll find the courage to tell him the truth.