Chapter 17 chapter 17
Chapter 17 chapter 17
In Love with the CEO
Chapter 17
Author:
ALEX
Me: “I want a divorce, Alexander.”
Alexander: “No, that’s out of the question.”
Me, trying to control my voice: “Of course I’m going to divorce you.”
Alexander, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at me: “I don’t want to divorce.”
Me, sitting next to him and taking his hands in mine: “Why do you want us to stay together? Give me one reason not to divorce you.”
My heart was pounding. I ask these questions even though I’m not entirely sure of the answer I’ll get. Deep down, I hold onto the hope that he’ll say he wants us to stay together because he loves me and can’t live without me—or even if he doesn’t love me yet, that he at least wants to try. If he asks me to stay and genuinely tries to build something with me, I’d stay without a second thought. Because I don’t want to be away from him. I’m not sure I can live without him. I’m not sure I can handle our separation.
Alexander, standing up: “I have no intention of divorcing. You’re my wife, and you’re supposed to stay by my side.”
Me, starting to lose patience: “Name one duty of a husband you’ve fulfilled during all these long months we’ve been married. Why should I be forced to stay with a man who clearly doesn’t want me?”
Alexander: “Because that’s how it should be, that’s all. I don’t divorce, it’s simple.”
His answers only make me angrier. I’ll never get anything out of this man. This conversation is going nowhere.
Me, standing up too: “We’ll see how you force me to stay here against my will.”
Alexander, in a harsh tone: “You will stay. I remind you that’s not the terms of the contract, and you’d better not move from here, I’m warning you.”
Me, retorting: “I’d rather end up in prison than spend another second in this house. I’m going back home. I’m my mother’s only child—I’m sure she’d prefer I return to her than stay in a marriage that’s costing me my mental health or my life.”
Alexander, with a nervous laugh: “Which mother are you talking about? The one who traded her only daughter for a few bills, or the one who didn’t bother to get to know her daughter’s ‘future husband’ but cared more about what he could offer her? Is that the mother you’re talking about?”
Me, in shock: “Excuse me?”
Alexander: “You heard me. You understood me. That mother sold you to me, just like you sold yourself. And I took pleasure in acquiring you. So there’s no divorce unless I decide it.”
SLAP
I was so angry that he got the second slap of the day. I see his face change, but he doesn’t react, probably because he knows he deserves it. I head to the closet and come back with what I was looking for.
Me, hitting his chest with the papers: “Here, everything you’ve paid me since we got together.”
Alexander, hands still in his pockets, unmoved: “…”
Me, overcome with anger: “You think I got with you for money? That’s it, isn’t it? You’re finally convincing me I have no place here. Alexander, you don’t deserve my love. You don’t deserve my tears. You simply don’t deserve me.”
ALEXANDER
Last night, I drank a bit when I got home, and the alcohol pushed me to do something I’ve wanted to do for a while. Some might say alcohol makes us do stupid things, but I’d say alcohol just gives us the courage to do things we can’t decide to do sober. Don’t they say the truth only comes from the mouths of children and drunks?
I was surprised to realize how good it felt to be in her arms. That night, she made me forget all my problems and the weight on my shoulders. I felt so good that I wished multiple times that the night would last forever.
But when I woke up this morning, reality hit. I realized I don’t have the right to aspire to happiness. The guilt that’s been haunting me resurfaced. I just wanted to push her to restore the distance between us. I didn’t want to push her to leave. I’m not ready to see her go. I want her to stay by my side.
The disappointment on my wife’s face right now makes me realize I’ve gone too far. I don’t know how to keep her.
Alex, with all the contempt she feels for me: “Look closely. Look at this face. It’s the last time you’ll see it. This body you despise so much—you won’t have it anymore. Even if I end up in prison, I’m ready to go if it means getting rid of a devil who’s ruining my life. It’ll be worth it.”
Whoa, I didn’t know her words would hit me so hard, but I stay seated, saying nothing, praying she’ll calm down and change her mind. I don’t want to say something that could make things worse.
She goes into the closet and comes out dressed, with a suitcase in hand. What is she playing at?
Me, standing up: “What are you doing with that suitcase?”
Alex, with a nervous laugh: “What don’t you understand about the fact that I’m leaving?”
Me: “And what don’t you understand about the fact that I want you to stay?”
She doesn’t answer and pulls the suitcase past me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I grab her arm to stop her. Usually, when she’s this close to me, she becomes so calm, her eyes sparkling, but now I see none of that. All I see is anger and a hint of defiance, which unsettles me to the core.
Me, continuing: “Have you thought about Julia?”
Alex, replying aggressively: “And did you think about her when you were making my life hell? Did you wonder for a second if I might get fed up and leave? You only thought about yourself. It’s time I think about myself.”
Me, trying to change her mind: “Even if you won’t stay for me, do it for her. For the love of God, don’t make her go through losing a mother again.”
Alex, her gaze softening: “If I put up with you all this time, it was for her. I chose to overlook everything for her. I tried, but I can’t do it anymore. I don’t have a stone for a heart—it’s bleeding. Don’t you see how much you’re hurting me every single day? These months I’ve spent in this house have been the worst of my life. I love that little girl like she’s my own, but I can’t afford the luxury of staying here anymore. It’s time I think about myself.”
Me, pulling her into my arms: “Please don’t leave me.”
She pulls away from my embrace, crying. I see her face full of doubt, but she still wants to leave.
Julia: “What did you do to Alex, Daddy?”
When I turn around, I see my daughter at the door. I don’t know how long she’s been there or what she’s heard.
Me, addressing my daughter: “I didn’t do anything to her, my darling.”
Julia: “Then why is she crying?”
I’m frozen, not knowing what to say, while Alex continues to shed tears…