Chapter 60 Harsh reality
LISA
I didn't say anything as he dragged me out, dragged me towards the car park, unlocked his car door, and threw me in.
I didn't say anything when he rounded the car and he got in behind the wheels when he leaned over to help me buckle my seat belt, torturing us both with our closeness because my breath hitched up and he became very rapid too.
Didn't say anything when he started the ignition when he eased the car out of the parking lot and he started driving towards the roads that I'd gotten to know way too much.
Because they lead to his house.
He didn't say anything too, he just looked as angry and pissed off as hell and it made me wonder why he was so angry because he doesn't have any right to be angry. I was dancing with a guy and he was suddenly our personal space, all angry as if someone stole his candy. He even had the nerve to punch the poor guy, knocking him out cold in the process. Thinking about it now, I was the one that was supposed to be angry, I was the one that had every right to be angry and to lash out at him but I tried to maintain my cool, to rein my anger in because I
couldn't risk us getting into an argument on the road when it could put us at risk.
So I said nothing, I just kept staring out of the window to distract myself from ogling at his body which was a huge distraction by the way. Despite by state, despite the anger brewing in me, despite
the fact that we had broken up our arrangement, angrily if I may add, I was still a huge sucker for his body. And being in this confined space with fumes practically coming out of this fine specimen of
a man wasn't helping matters at all.
But I had to remind myself that I was just sex. That he didn't see me as anything more than a vessel to derive sexual and physical pleasure from. I was just a means of release for him and he'd never see me for more than that.
My anger increased in tenfolds when this reality dawned on me and I balled my hands into fists when an insane need to start punching something.
Or someone named Axel Ivanov.
"You can drop me off at the junction closest to the school," I said coolly, "I'll find my way from there."
His hands tightened around the steering wheel with so much force I thought the skin around his knuckle would tear. He didn't turn to look at me, didn't turn away from the road when he said, "I didn't
take you away from the bar to drop you off without having a conversation with you."
And for someone who was so angry to the point that it was almost making me feral, his voice sounded unreasonably calm.
"Ohhh," I chuckled bitterly, "I should have known this is your own version of having a conversation with someone, kidnapping an unwilling participant to have a conversation," I air quoted the last part,"
is really the way of the Ivanov family."
"Lisa," he growled, eyes still on the road and hands tightening more around the steering wheel, "we don't talk about our family, at least not in this regard, we called a truce, remember?"
He made me chuckle again, "we called a truce when we had an arrangement, now that we've called it off, I can talk and say anything I want about your family. I'm not sorry if that doesn't sit down well
with you."
He didn't say anything immediately, he just kept staring at the road and after a while, he relaxed and sighed deeply.
"God, Red, you're always driving me crazy," he muttered in a strange voice that did strange things to my stomach, and the fact that he called me Red did not help matters. God, I was just a mess. This was a man who didn't see me as anything more than a means for pleasure and here I was, getting affected because he calls me Red and is talking to me in a strange voice.
My anger intensified and I leaned completely against the door frame as if that'd minimize the effect his physical presence was having on me. We soon turned to his street and in no time, he was
gliding his car to a stop inside his compound. He killed the ignition and got down while I made no move to even unbuckle my seat belt.
He crossed over to my side and opened the door.
"Get down, Lisa,"
"I'm not getting down," I replied without even looking at him, "I clearly told you that I'm an unwilling participant in this and..." My words tried off into a yelp when he suddenly reached into the car, undid the seat belt, and bundled him up. In no minute, I was flapping in the air as he threw me over his shoulder.
"How dare you, Axel? Put me down in this instant," I shrieked and started pounding against his back but the fucker didn't even budge and before I knew it, the coolness of his house was welcoming
us as he marched us to his room to throw me on his bed.
He turned away from me and he started pacing across the length of the room while I pushed myself into a standing position and all of a sudden, he turned back to look at me, eyes feral with anger. "What the fuck did you think you were doing, Lisa?" He dared to yell at me, to get into my personal space while at it. "And who the fuck do you think you are?" I yelled back, "who the fuck did you think you are to have the audacity to punch a guy that was dancing with me and to knock him out in the process?" "That fucker should be grateful he doesn't have a hole in his fucking head by now." He said in all sincerity, unrestrained anger flashing in his eyes, "Next time, he'll know better than to put his hands on
what belonged to me."
What? Disbelief coursed through me, almost turning my blood to ice. He was objectifying me so much that he had the nerve to reduce me to a property that can be owned right in my presence. "News flash genius," I said in anger, pushing at his chest, "I belonged to no one, least of all you. If you, by any chance, believe that you have some sort of control over me because we used to sleep together, then you're grossly mistaken and delusional. And in case you've forgotten, we've called out whatever arrangement we used to have so if you'll excuse me." I didn't wait for his reply before I sidestepped him and started to walk away but he grabbed my hand and he yanked me back to him, eyes blazing and it thrilled my body strangely. "The hell we have," he muttered before his mouth claimed mine in a vicious and intense kiss. His tongue ravaged my mouth, slipping past my lips as he kissed me thoroughly, completely. My hands moved up to press against his chest to push him away but to my sheer horror, my hand fisted against his shirt and I pulled him closer to myself as I matched the energy of his kiss. We continued kissing and his hand moved to tug my clothes, to slip my stretchy gown below my shoulders in a bid to undress me and the minute his hand grazed my boob, all logic flew back into me.
I pushed him away from me with all the energy I could muster and while a confused expression crossed his face, I delivered a very hard slap on his face, one that made his head jerk to a side.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Axel? You can't just force me here and attempt to force yourself on me."
He turned back to me slowly while massaging his cheek.
"That didn't in any way seem like I was forcing myself on you and don't tell me you don't miss this," he pointed to the space between the both of us, "don't tell me you don't miss the both of us
together."
"There's no the both of us together," I screamed, "Jesus Christ, Axel, there's no the both of us together. We had no relationship other than a forbidden sexual arrangement and I've gotten tired and it's
high time we both moved on. I'm doing that obviously before you act all macho and decided to put an end to that. No one is stopping you from doing that too."
His nostrils flared.
"Well, obviously I can't do that because heaven knows I really want to but I've tried and I can't. I just can't. I don't know what you've done to me, Red but I can't move on from what we used to have."
My heart skipped three beats and it wouldn't stop racing at his words. But he was talking about sex, he was talking about physical intimacy and that didn't mean anything.
My heart spluttered into a million pieces.
"There are lots of girls that will be willing to jump into bed with you, Axel. Don't patronize me by saying you can't move away from what we apparently used to have when it's just sex and nothing more
than that."
He looked intently at me and for the first time, I saw a hint of vulnerability in his eyes. He sighed deeply before turning away from me and he ran his fingers through his hair with a frustrated growl leaving his mouth. When he turned back to me, he looked unhinged, as if his whole life was coming apart and he looked completely vulnerable as if this was the end of a beginning or the beginning of
an end.
"Shit," he cursed before running his hand through his hair, "I can't believe... fuck, Red, what have you done to me?"
Then he closed the distance between us, tugged me by my hand till I was sitting on the bed and he knelt down in front of me. Not knelt down per se but the way he was sitting down on the bare floor
in front of me while looking up at me gave me an intense feeling of power.
Made me feel as if I had powerful control over him.
I gulped, my heart beating like it was racing wildly while he stared at me with completely vulnerable and bare eyes.
Geeez. What's he about to do?