Chapter 54 An end to this
LISA
He pulled me into his arms as the slow music started to play and everybody started to dance with their partners.
One of his hands encircled my waist and pulled me closer, flattening on my lower back while the other intertwined with my hand as our bodies started to move slowly to the slow music. My heart wouldn't stop racing in my chest at our close proximity which wasn't even anything. We've been standing in closer proximity before, especially those times when we did not have our clothes on and he was busy driving my body and mind to the edge of insanity with the skillfulness that was his hands and months.
But there was something about this, about his hand on my lower back and his finger pad that was moving absentmindedly over it, about his hand that was intertwined with mine as our bodies glided slowly to the music. There was something euphoric about it, something beautiful that made me lightheaded, like made me feel all fuzzy inside, that made me feel a warm feeling in the bottom of my stomach that had nothing to do with sexual attraction.
I tensed for the briefest second in his hold.
What's that?
What's this feeling that I was starting to feel for Axel? Ours was a purely physical arrangement so why was I feeling like this?
"Is anything the problem?" He bent slightly to whisper into my ears and I could have sworn goosebumps broke on my skin.
What's this?
"What?" I cleared my throat to clear the sudden hoarseness away, "what are you talking about?"
"You look tensed," he pointed out, his eyes locked on mine through the mask that he had on and even though the hall was barely lighted, I could feel the intensity of his gaze to my core and I felt like his eyes were striping me off, baring myself and my mind for him to see.
I suddenly became defensive because what if he sees what I was feeling, what if he knows?
Know what? My inner voice chided. What exactly do you feel for him that you don't want him to know?
"And your mind seems to be somewhere else apart from here," he concluded and I licked my lips nervously.
How was he even able to pick up those small details about me?
"I'm okay," I lied, "just a little bit tired with all the preparations to get ready for this evening. You know I'm not used to dressing up like this and all."
He didn't say anything for a while, he just kept staring at me in that deep scrutinizing way of his and after a while, he opened his mouth and surprised me.
"You look pretty," he said as if he was pointing out a fact that was indisputable, like the fact that there was day and night and my insides went fuzzy all of a sudden with my knees going weak that I was sure I'd have fallen to the ground if he wasn't holding me up.
What's this? What are these extreme reactions to his words?
"I mean that should have been the first thing I'd say when I saw you but I got carried away. I guess you really don't have an idea how distracting you're in this red gown," his voice was husky and low and it was sending little tremor waves all over my body that was making it increasingly hard for my heart to function properly.
Why was he saying things like this?
"Why are you suddenly going all poetic on my ass? Is this a new tactic to get me to open my legs quicker for you?"
He didn't flare up like I expected him to, and didn't even bite out a sassy reply that was his normal way.
"I don't need to go all poetic on you before getting you to bend over or toss up your skirt for me, we both know you want me as much as you want your next breath."
Cocky bastard.
"And I'm only pointing out a fact about your beauty, why is that so much of a deal?"
"It's a big deal because ours is a plainly physical arrangement and I see no reason for you to compliment my looks or anything."
"God!" He murmured before flattening me against his body and I could feel the bulge in his trouser and the fact that it was starting to harden.
Fuck. My mouth dried up as arousal swept through me. This was the familiar pattern, this was our relationship, and this was what I was used to but why was I feeling a little bit angry?
"Red," he drawled my name, "can't you just take a compliment as normal girls would? Ain't a compliment supposed to make girls happy and excited?"
"Well, I'm not most girls," I retorted, "and I don't understand why you care about why I was happy or not."
"Geez," he pulled me more against him till his budget was digging into my core. It was almost like he wanted me to notice, to take note of what I was doing to him. It took all my self-restraint not to start grinding myself shamelessly against him.
"Red, you drive me crazy half the time. Right now, I'm so torn about taking you against the nearest wall and fucking you senseless, and of course, I care about your happiness, I don't like fucking unhappy girls."
That stung. Of course, it was all about sex. Our relationship was strictly physical and he wasn't supposed to give a fuck about me outside of sex but why the fuck did that hurt?
It stung so much I felt tears glistening in my eyes.
I pulled away from him.
"I'm tired of dancing, the heels are hurting my angle and I need to sit down."
I didn't wait for him to say anything before I turned and I started to walk away and I was just about to get to the long couches that were lined against the wall when strong hands pulled me back and I was staring into the dark eyes that belonged to Axel.
"What's wrong, Lisa?" He asked, sounding genuinely worried and concerned, "you've been on edge since the night started, is it something I did?"
"You give yourself way too much credit, Axel," yeah, it's exactly what you did or rather, what you did not do.
"I'm just tired and I need to sit and relax for a minute."
He let go of my hands and he actually did nothing to stop me when I walked away to sit on the couch but what I didn't expect was for him to follow me and sit beside me.
Hours later, the dinner hang-out was about to end after a series of fun activities that my mood did not deter me from participating in.
There were dance games, truths and dares, five minutes in the closet, and a host of other fun games that made me laugh my ass off and made my earlier worries dissipate into nothingness. Well, that was some minutes ago because right now, it seemed like the anger was coming back in full force again.
And it was all because of the brown-haired girl that was shamelessly flirting with Axel. She had been dared earlier to give him a lap dance and since then, she had stuck to his side as if they were glued together and she was doing everything but enter him with the way she was practically sitting on his lap.
I didn't even understand why I was angry. We were not together and I certainly can't stop him from talking to other girls so why was I angry and feeling so territorial?
Eventually, I couldn't handle how clingy she was acting with him anymore and the fact that he was allowing her despite coming here with me. I left the hall to go outside and probably even leave since people were starting to leave anyway.
I doubted if he even saw me leave since he was probably already balls-deep into the girl in his mind but I was hardly outside when he caught up with me.
"Trying to sneak out on me, Red?"
"It looked like I won't be missed since you're busy with your Barbie," I retorted and a forlorn look flashed in his eyes before it was gone.
"Jealousy doesn't look good on you, Red." He replied, his signature smirk on his face, "you don't have anything to worry about, Barbie is not my type."
"I don't care if she's your type or not," I snapped and he seemed to freeze for a second, "you can go back to her and leave me alone. Now, I need to get back to the hostel."
I started to walk away but he grabbed me by my hands and the next thing, I was being hurled against the wall in a corner and he was crowding my personal space so much that all I could breathe him was him, and damn if that wasn't addictive and erotic. If it didn't make me want to peel off my gown here and allow him to take me.
"I'm sorry if allowing the girl to crowd my personal space like that didn't sit down well with you," he apologized which was so unbecoming of Axel Ivanov, "but you're all I want, Red, you're all I think about and right now, I'm going to pass out if I don't get in you in the next five seconds."
His mouth found a sensitive spot on my neck and he sucked it into his mouth, eliciting a whimper from me and his hand found my gown and he started to bundle it up with his fingers working magic on my skin.
It felt good, felt amazing, felt euphoric, felt heavenly like he always makes me feel. I wanted to get lost in it, I wanted to bask in it, I wanted to feel it for the last time but I knew if I let myself go this last time, I'd want to go the next time and the next time so I braced myself and forced myself to push him off me.
"What's it, Red?" His voice was crowded with arousal and he looked like I was a full-course meal he can't wait to dive into.
I braced myself and forced the hard pill down my throat.
"We need to put an end to this, Axel."