Chapter Forty-Six

The silence between us was thick with emotion and yet neither of us had the courage to break it. At least not willingly anyway. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Aiden, feeling the last of my dignity slipping away.

There was a hardness to Aiden's features as he carried me to the bathroom adjoining my bedroom and settled me on the closed toilet seat lid gently. I watched as he moved to the shower and turned it on, testing the water until he seemed satisfied with the temperature before coming back to me. Even he seemed unable to meet my gaze which only added to the tense awkwardness in the room.

"You need to get undressed. Can you do that yourself?" He asked, his voice surprisingly gentle despite the anger seeping from his pores.

"I think so." I croaked, shifting gingerly to start pulling my top off.

The moment I moved my arms upwards, pain radiated across my stomach making me wince. Simultaneously, Aiden's breathing hitched and his eyes darkened as his eyes found the bruises decorating my skin. Silently he moved to carefully help me shed the garment allowing us to both see the full extent of my injuries however, I spotted how his jaw clenched in anger, as if he was trying to stop himself from exploding. Shame flooded me the moment my skin was fully exposed and I felt fresh tears burning my sensitive eyes as they welled. I should have fought back harder. I should have kicked and screamed. Yet I remembered distinctly how strong Noah had been, how calculated his movements had been. It was like he was a natural born predator and knew how to subdue his prey quickly and effectively.

The bruises were colouring like crushed blackberries over my skin. Each breath made them hurt, made my head hurt, made my soul hurt. Aiden's eyes were taking in every little detail, every scratch, every bruise, every bit of swelling. He was using it to fuel the white hot rage building inside of him like a wildfire.

Despite that, he was still gentle as he helped me out of the rest of my clothes and guided me under the hot shower spray. The heat made my cuts sting but I didn't move away even as I gritted my teeth. I welcomed the feeling of something. Yes I was in pain but it felt like the water was washing it away slowly.

I expected Aiden to leave me alone to fend for myself so I was surprised when his giant hand appeared from behind me, grabbing my shower gel from the caddy. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he touched my back, his movements stilling for a moment until I had relaxed a little before carefully washing the fragrant bubbles over my skin.

No words passed between us as Aiden helped me wash away the dried blood and stiffness in my limbs. He even washed my hair before helping me out of the shower. I was surprised to find him still fully clothed albeit now soaked from standing in the shower with me but he seemed unfazed even with the way his t-shirt was sticking to him.

"Think you can handle getting dressed by yourself?" Aiden asked.

I nodded, staying still as a statue, wrapped in my towel.

"I will come and check on you in a few minutes." He added before disappearing.

I didn't like this distance and tension between us. I knew it was my fault but I didn't know how to fix it. I supposed I should be grateful that he had come back to see me, that he was helping me and not abandoning me because this was getting to be rather complicated and dramatic.

I took my time to dry off and pull on fresh clothing, my mind fighting against the storm inside of me. I was exhausted both mentally, physically and emotionally. It felt strange to think that just an hour ago I was trying to end my life and that an hour before that, I had been fighting off a monster who had vowed to ruin my life. I felt foolish thinking I could have gotten away from Noah so easily but mostly I was done with feeling like there was no escape. The despair had swelled like a black tsunami, building and building and building until it crashed over me and destroyed everything in its wake. I had never known fear like this. I had never known humiliation this brutal. I had never felt so trapped.

I had never felt so used.

The sound of my bedroom door opening forced me to look up. At some point between getting dressed and thinking, I had come to settle on the edge of my bed, my eyes watching the rain pelting the window outside. Now, I watched as Aiden walked in, his hair mussed from towel drying it and his lips set in a thin line. I was grateful that even though my bedside lamp was on, it was still too dark to see the emotion in his eyes. I wasn’t ready to see the hurt and betrayal in them.

“I’m sorry.” I blurted out in a husky voice, realising only now that I was trembling. “I’m so sorry…”

Aiden didn’t say anything as he came to sit next to me, pulling me onto his lap like I was a doll. Being encased in his arms and having my face buried into his chest left me feeling the safest I had felt in a very long time. This perfect man held me as I forced myself not to cry. I was so tired of crying. I was so tired of feeling hopeless and helpless.

“Don't ever scare me like that again, Ellie.” Aiden murmured into my hair. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

"I'm sorry." I whimpered. "I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt like no matter what I did, I would never be free and it's just so exhausting."

"But you are free now." Aiden pointed out. "You don't have to go back to that school ever again. He can't get to you."

It dawned on me with a whisper of embarrassment that Aiden was somewhat right. After today I never had to return to school. There would be no more walking into a classroom wondering if I would be jumped and humiliated. There would be no more eyes burning into me and there would be no more hiding out until everyone left school in case I bumped into Noah Winters.

“I think…” Aiden paused and I could feel his reluctance to say whatever it was he was thinking yet after a beat, he pushed on. “I think you need to talk to someone. A therapist…”

I frowned at this and lifted my head to look at him. For a moment I felt annoyed but I quickly realised it was actually embarrassment fueling these snap emotions. I knew Aiden meant well by the suggestion but the thought of talking to someone about what had been happening to me was too daunting. I just wanted to put it behind me but I knew that Aiden was right in a way. I had nearly thrown myself off a bridge and my life over the past few months had been anything but pleasant. If it weren’t for Aiden and Kyle, I don’t know what I would have done. I kept thinking Noah would have done a lot worse if I had been completely alone.

“Can I think about it?” I asked quietly.

“No.” Aiden replied honestly. “Ellie, You’ve been through a lot lately and I can’t imagine what you’ve been through before we met but it was obvious to me from the first day I met you that you’ve not had anyone by your side for a very long time and it’s time to change that. I will be here for you but I can’t give you everything you need. Talking to someone will help and you will have ages before you start college.”

I slumped against him after his little speech and closed my eyes, resting my cheek against his broad shoulder.

“Okay.” I muttered and sighed. “But right now I don’t want to talk about it. My head really hurts and I just want to sleep.”

“Okay.” Aiden relented after a few moments of silence. I could tell he still had things on his mind but he showed mercy by saving them for another time.

I felt him move under me, moving me so I was lying against the cool mattress of my bed. Aiden followed shortly after, his arm locking around me in his favourite hold as the duvet settled over us. I hadn’t expected him to stay given that it wasn’t that late but at the same time I was grateful for the solid warmth of his body. I knew there was a lot I needed to sort out but for now, I was happy to simply close my eyes and forget the outside world.

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A/N: Hi all, just a quick message to say we are about 3/4 through the story now and thank you to everyone who has made it this far with me. Remember to follow me on Insta @ZaydaWattswrites