Chapter 36 Talong

Totoo nga ang sinasabi nila. If someone inflicted too much pain on you, it's either you became numb and get used to it or move forward and turn your pain into an inspiration. And I did the latter and the former.

But I am not that heartless. I still feel guilty for doing that to them. Despite of all the pain that they've inflicted to me, naaawa pa rin ako. There's still a part of me thats wanting to fix the relationship between me and... my family.

Pero... hindi ko pa rin kaya. Hindi ko kayang magtiwala. Natatakot ako hindi para sa sarili kundi pati na sa anak ko. What if... what if they'll... do the same thing to my child?

I had trust issues at hanggang ngayon ay dala dala ko pa rin 'yon. Normal lang naman siguro 'yon di ba?

I sighed.

Kinabukasan ay nanatili lang ako sa loob ng condo kasama si Indira. She was clinging on me too much today. Ang sabi ni Miya ay mukhang namiss daw ako nito. I pouted. Ako rin naman e. Namiss ko 'yong anak ko kahit na halos isang araw lang naman kasing hindi nagkita.

Oh really? E hindi mo nga halos naisip ang anak mo habang kasama mo si Santa Claus di ba?!

Napapikit ako ng mariin dahil sa biglaang pagsasalita ng isnag panig ng utak ko. I sighed.

"Mommy, my birthday is coming. Are we going to celebrate it here or in France?" Indira asked. Kandong ko ito habang nagbabasa ito ng libro. It's not some kind of a fairytale book though. It's actually a book that tackles about law or something like that. Dala niya ito ng makauwi sila galing sa bahay nina Miya. My Indira... She's growing so fast, huh? Ayaw na niyang manood ng mga cartoons.

I sighed. Hinalikan ko ang tuktok ng kaniyang ulo. "Where do you want is to celebrate your birthday, hm?"

"I want to do it in the island! In Azulah Verde, Mommy!" napanguso ako. Hinaplos ko ang kaniyang buhok.

Nagpakawala ako ng buntong-hininga bago tumango. "Fine. We'll do it in an island." She clapped her hands and cheered.

I sighed.

Mukha yatang mapapatagal pa ang pagbalik namin sa France nito. But it's not a problem anyway. The main branch of E. A. I. Fashion Corner is there and so as Raf's pero hindi naman siguro makakasama o makakaapekto ang dalawa o isang buwan na bakasyon dito. Sana nga.

Tiwala naman kami sa mga staffs namin ni Raf and the two managers na mamahala doon pansamantala. I know that they won't let us down. At saka, itatawag naman nila kaagad kung may problema.

Mapapahaba pa ang mga araw na magkikita kami ni Monteserio. Tch.

"I have a question, My..."

"Hmm? What is it?"

Ibinaba ni Indira ang libro bago humarap sa akin. She's still sitting on my lap as she slowly pouted. I saw the uncertainty of her face. Mukhang nagdadalawang isip kung sasabihin ba talaga ang tinutukoy niya o hindi.

"I'm just curious, My... Will you allow me to meet my Dad?"

Hindi na ako nagulat pa sa tanong nito. I expected that. She's already growing. She's smart and her mind's open to anything kaya hindi na ako nagtataka pa na itatanong niya ito sa akin balang araw.

I sighed.

Hinaplos ko ang buhok niya. "It depends, baby. Do you want to meet him?" Kasi kung ako lang, ayaw kong makaharap niya ang ama niya. Kung maaari ay ipagdadamot ko siya sa tumulong sa akin para mabuo siya... pero hindi rin ako papayag na dumepende sa akin lagi ang desisyon niya. If she wants to meet him, then I will let her, but I will first make sure na maaasahan ko ang ama niya sa kaniya. Sisiguraduhin ko muna na walang makakapanakit sa kaniya.

Indira let out a small smile before shaking her head. "I don't know, Mommy. It also depends on him if he wants to meet me or not. If he want want to meet me, then that's good. But if he doesn't want to, it's still good. Marami lalaki, My. I can still find a handsome man that will love you and love me too as his. Marami lalaki. Hindi siya iisa lang. Marami ako choices. Pwede nga Uncle Raf e. Kaso, he wants talong too." She pouted. I was amused, but the last thing she said caught my attention. Nagpantig yata ang tainga ko sa sinabi ng aking anak.

Talong.

My eyebrows furrowed.

"Do you know what's talong, baby?"

She crossed her arms before nodding. "Uncle Raf said talong is a man. And he likes men only so he only wants talong. He also said it's fun to eat talong." inosente niyang saad bago naningkit ang mga mata at tiningnan ako. "Mommy... Did you eat my Daddy too?"

Wala sa sariling naihilamos ko ang mga palad ko sa aking mukha. Rafael!

"I'm pretty confused nga Mommy. Sabi Uncle Raf that man in tagalog is talong. But then he also said that a man has talong. And he also said that it's healthy to eat talong because it produces milk? And that you eat Daddy's talong too to be able to have me. I don't get it, Mommy."

Puta. Putangina.

Indira, hindi mo na dapat alamin pa anak ko...

Ilang beses kong pinukpok ang ulo sa sandalan ng sofa habang minumura sa isip ko si Rafael. Alam ko namang malandi siya pero tangina ng baklang 'yon!

"I searched it on Google, Mommy. It says that talong is eggplant in english. But eggplant doesn't produce milk, Mommy, so what does Uncle Raf mean by the talong he is pertaining to? He is making me bobo naman e."

Mas lalo akong napatampal sa aking noo. Never have I ever wished for us to be talking something like this. Humanda talaga sa akin mamaya ang baklang 'yon!

*

"Aray nga, bruha ka!"

Paulit ulit kong hinampas si Rafael. Panay naman ang ngiwi at stress nito sa mga hampas ko.

"Ano bang ginawa ko kasi?!" maarte niyang tanong.

Nilagay ko sa aking baywang ang dalawa kong kamay at nginitian siya ng sarkastiko.

"What did you tell Indira, huh?! Inosente ang anak ko, Rafael ano ba! She's too young to know about sexual---things! For God's sake!"

He raised his brow on me before pouting. "Hindi naman niya naintindihan e. At saka, it's better na bata pa lang a i-educate mo na sa mga ganiyang bagay."

"At bakit kailangang talong?!"

"E bakit? Anong gusto mo saging?!"

Napatampal ako sa aking noo bago siya sinamaan ng tingin.

"And speaking of talong, may naghihintay pala sayo sa labas ng unit." Ngumisi ito sa akin at itinaas baba ang kilay. "Mukhang malaki at mahaba ang talong kaya nabuo si Indira--"

"Rafael!"