Chapter 31 Deny

I was not in my right mind the whole time.

Of course, who would be, right? He just dropped that Indira's his daughter. His daughter for God's sake! I won't accept it. Hell, I won't. He's just the sperm donor! He just helped on creating Indira but she's not his daughter! Akin lang ang anak ko!

Hindi ko pa rin makalimutan kung paano niya kami pinahamak noon ni Indira. He was the reason why I almost lost her. My daughter. Hinding hindi ko makakalimutan 'yon! I will never forget how he told my family that I seduced him, that I told advantage of his weakness!

Maayado siyang makapal para akuin si Indira.

"Comfort room lang muna ako," mahinang saad ko na nagpahinto nina Raf. Indira looked at me too and I know she sense already na wala ako sa mood. Iniupo ko siya sa pwesto ki bago tuluyang lumabas ng VIP room.

Imbes na sa CR dumiretso ay mas minabuti kong lumabas ng restaurant. Nasa may parking lot na ako kung saan walang tao ng biglang may humawak sa aking braso. Wala na akong sinayang na segundo pa at kaagad na lumingon sa kaniya. I know that he'll follow.

I looked at him with nothing but hate in my eyes. "What do you need?"

His eyes softened. Marahan nitong binitawan ang braso kong hawak niya.

"I'm sorry---"

"Is way too late." I added coldly, because it is. Masyado ng late para mag-sorry siya and I just don't forgive people that easily. I don't forget and forgive easily because I know that I can move forward without needing any of those.

"Beautrin..." he whispered so softly. Noon, buong akala ko ay hindi na niya kayang bigkasin ang pangalan ko ng walang halong galit. That's what I thought. I didn't expect for him to talk to me like nothing happened. Like he didn't do any kagaguhan to me years ago.

"Ano Monteserio? Do you really think that Indira's your daughter?" I asked before crossing my arms. I observed him closely.

"I know. I just know, Trin. I know she's my daughter and I understand if you don't want me to meet her--"

"That's good," I nodded stiffly. "Mas mabuting alam mo kung hanggang saan ka lang sa buhay namin. Indira doesn't need you. She's five now, turning six, and I'm glad that she's not asking me anything that concerns about her sperm donor." That's the truth. I opened to Indira once. Kung bakit mukhang hindi naman siya naghahanap sa daddy niya of if she wants to meet him ba. She only answered a simple no to me. Indira is very open. Hindi lang naman ako ang single mother sa mundo and I know that she know that. It isn't strange to her that I am alone, raising her. It was like, it's just normal for her na walang daddy.

My heart hurts sometimes at that thought pero hindi ko siya mapipilit kung siya mismo ay okay na sa kaniyang walang nakikilalang ama. It wasn't really a big deal for her.

I saw how pain crossed his face, but I just raised my brow. Pain? Huh. Walang wala 'yan sa naranasan ko noon. And this pain won't kill him.

"I... She's my daughter?" he stuttered.

"Hindi. Because as what I've said, you're just the sperm donor. Malaki ang tulong mo para mabuo si Indira sa sinapupunan ko, but that doesn't make you deserving as his father, so no, you're not his father, and you will never be."

He gulped hardly before smiling faintly at me. Kitang kita ko na ngayon kung gaano siya nasaktan sa sinabi ko. The side of his eyes can't hide the tears that is slowly forming in it.

"If you will insist it again, please no. Because I don't want anyone to know that you're the sperm donor, okay? Do not insist anymore. Indira doesn't need you. A person like you," I said with so much disgust.

I scoffed when I saw how tears trickled down his cheeks. Marahan siyang timawa at pinunasan ito.

"Fuck it. Ang sakit, Trin. But I know that I deserve this. Ang gago ko kas--"

"Mabuti at alam mo, Monteserio. Next time, know your place. And whatever is your reason why you decided to invest, I don't care anymore. It's your life. Mabuti nga 'yon ng may maiambag ka namang tama sa buhay ko ngayon. Hindi kagaya noon na puro sama lang ng loob at depression," I raised my brow and rolling my eyes at him before walking away.

I sighed.

This is what an asshole deserves. Call me heartless, but people like him can't never have a place in my life again, ever.

*

"Ano ba kasing ginawa mo at hindi na bumalik si Mr. Monteserio? Baka mag-back out 'yon." Nakangusong saad ni Raf. I rolled my eyes at him.

"He can back out for all I care, hindi siya kawalan." Hinaplos ko ang buhok ni Indira na ngayon ay mahimbing na ang tulog habang nakahiga ang ulosa mga hita ko.

Pagkarating pa lamang namin sa condo ay bagsak na ang bata. Mukhang pagod na pagod matapos ng ginawa namin kanina sa mall. After I came back to the VIP room ay lumabas na kaagad kami at dumiretso na sa mall. We enjoyed ourselves there. Well, more like, si Indira lang dahil sa sobrang paglalaro nito.

Kaya pagkarating namin ay bagsak kaagad. Hindi pa nga umabot sa kwarto e.

"Wala na talagang feelings no?"

I smirked. None. Ito lang ang masisiguro ko. Wala na talaga akong nararamdaman kay Monteserio. I totally moved on.

"What do you think?" I raised my brow at him.

"I can see that, Trin. Pero alam mo, naaawa ako sa kaniya. Don't get me wrong ah. It doesn't mean that I'm invalidating what you've experienced just because I felt pity towards him. It's just that, hindi ko maiwasang maisip na baka, baka biktima lang din siya ng maling akala? Alam mo 'yon? Iyong naniwala siya sa isang bagay na hindi naman totoo?"

Of course, naisip ko na rin 'yan. Pero kasi, kahit saang anggulo ko tingnan, kasalanan niya pa rin. He didn't trust me enough. He didn't listen to my explanation. He was listening only to himself. He ears were covered. At hindi ko na kasalanan pa 'yon. It was his decision to listen to my explanation or just let it go, and he choose the latter. He can't blame anyone but him.

And I can always deny him as Indira's father for all I want, he can't do anything with that. This is not a revenge but a precautionary measure in case if he choose to believe lies again. I am just protecting Indira, and not me.