Chapter 84 A decision

Chapter 84 A decision
Milie's POV

"Bye, Milie... bye forever."

"I'm going somewhere so far away that you'll never find me."

"My life has no meaning without you anymore. The pain is unbearable."

"You'll always be in my heart. Love you... forever, my Angel."

"No..." My body jerked upright. "No! Dax!"

I gasped for air as my heart hammered violently against my ribs.

My eyes darted wildly around the room, searching for him. 

My trembling hands fumbled across the bedsheet, desperately reaching for my phone.

Then reality slowly settled. It was a dream. Just a dream.

But for one horrifying moment, it felt real.

Tears spilled uncontrollably. A broken sob escaped before I could stop it.

Beside me, Mom immediately woke up. She sat upright and pulled me into her arms without asking another question.

"I'm here, sweetheart… I'm here." 

I buried my face against her shoulder. 

"Dax left me, Mom. I broke our friendship. I never wanted to hurt him..."

"But I hurt him more than I ever imagined."

"I don't know how to bring him back."

"I can't imagine my life without him."

She gently stroked my hair until my breathing slowed.

"You three have never fought before," she whispered. "What happened?"

I lifted my head. "I ruined everything."

Her expression softened. "Is this because of you... and Alan?"

I nodded silently. She wiped away my tears.

"My dear… These confusions are natural."

"You don't have to hate yourself because your heart chose someone."

I looked away. "But what if Dax never forgives me?"

Mom smiled sadly. "I've watched that boy grow up."

"I've watched him love you. He has always chosen your happiness before his own."

"I remember the expression on his face the day I spoke to him about you and Alan."

"He is deeply hurt."

"And people who love deeply take longer to heal."

Fresh tears blurred my vision. "This isn't one of our childish fights, Mom."

"He's shattered."

"I understand he needs time..."

"But this distance is suffocating."

"I feel guilty."

"I don't regret choosing Alan..."

"...I regret hurting Daxton."

"He has always been part of my life."

"How am I supposed to stop worrying about him?"

Mom cupped my face. "Sometimes loving someone also means giving them the space to heal."

I stayed quiet.

She continued softly, "And another thing… You keep trying to carry everyone's pain."

"If you keep doing that, one day you'll disappear.

Her words hit somewhere deep inside me. She wasn't wrong.

I had forgotten what living for myself even looked like.

Mom hugged me again. "Our happiness has always been you."

"It's been so long since we saw the old Milie."

"The one who laughed without thinking."

"The one who filled this house with noise."

"You think your father doesn't notice?"

"He does."

"He simply doesn't know how to help."

My lips trembled. "You both deserve a better daughter."

She immediately shook her head. "No."

"We already have the daughter we prayed for."

"You are kind. You are compassionate. You simply love too much."

"And that's never something we'll regret."

Tears rolled down both our faces. She kissed my forehead before making me lie down again.

For the first time in years… I was sleeping, cuddling my Mom. 

"Mom..."

"When did you even come to sleep here?"

"I remember talking to Sammy."

"I was alone after that."

She smiled knowingly. "Alan asked me to."

My heart warmed instantly. "Alan."

"If she hadn't come, I would've cried the entire night."

A small smile escaped me.

"You know, Mom… I wonder if I'll ever become like him."

She laughed.

"I knew you admired him."

"I never knew you wanted to become him."

"I do."

"So much."

"No matter what happens, he never forgets his responsibilities."

"He can be heartbroken, yet he still remembers the people depending on him."

"Yesterday, his own heart was hurting, yet he kept reminding me to think about you, Dad, my responsibilities."

"He never lets pain become an excuse."

Mom nodded. "That's something I admire too."

I smiled. "He can become anything."

"A friend."

"A senior."

"A mentor."

"A philosopher."

"And..."

I giggled.

"...a complete child."

Mom laughed.

"Child?"

"With his Nana."

"She's his entire world."

"He becomes five years old around her."

"He tells her every tiny detail."

"I'm sure she already knows everything that happened yesterday."

Mom smiled. "Grace once told me something. When Alan bought you those expensive shoes..."

"I told her she should stop him from spending it on you."

"What did she say?" I asked. 

Mom chuckled. "She said, 'If buying gifts makes him happy, let him. It's his hard-earned money.'

'He can spend it however he wants, and on whoever he wants.'

'He has never demanded anything from me. Never complained.'

'Never asked why I wasn't around. He simply learned to understand.'

I smiled softly. "That's Alan."

"Yes, he loves his Nana."

"But he respects his mother with his whole heart."

"And one day… I'll too make you proud. I hugged her tighter.

Mom kissed my forehead.

"No. You already make us proud."

After Mom drifted off to sleep, I lay staring at the ceiling.

My thoughts slowly drifted toward Alan.

How many times had I hurt him? Rejected him. Ignored him. Chose someone else.

Yet he never kept score. He never reminded me of my mistakes.

Instead, he silently helped Dad, supported my family, protected me, and expected nothing in return.

Even yesterday… He kept reminding me— Think about your parents. Think about your future.

Don't stop living because today hurts.

Without realizing it… He had changed me.

For the first time… I wanted good grades. I wanted an internship. I wanted to stand beside Dad.

Not because someone forced me, but because I wanted to.

That thought stayed with me until sleep claimed me again.

The next morning… For the first time in days… I woke up lighter.

The pain was still there. But it no longer felt impossible to carry.

Something had changed.

Mom wasn't beside me anymore. Smiling to myself, I reached for my phone.

Sammy had already texted.

Sammy: He's okay now.

Sammy: Slept well.

Sammy: Had breakfast.

Sammy: He's talking normally.

Sammy: I'm leaving now. He promised he'll come to college.

Sammy: We still have a big battle to fight, my girl.

A smile appeared on my face. 

Milie: We'll fight till our last breath.

From the moment I left Dax's house, Sammy had kept updating me.

Photos. Dinner. Television. Sleeping. Everything.

I smiled again and sighed in relief.  

"Wow, someone's smiling." A voice broke in. 

I looked up instantly.

Alan. The sight of him made my entire face brighten.

I jumped off the bed and hugged him. "Good morning."

He kissed my forehead. "Very good morning, Mils."

"So… Did someone perform overnight magic?"

"Did Dax—"

I shook my head. "No."

Holding his hand, I made him sit.

He studied my face. "What are you thinking?"

I looked outside the window.

"I spent the entire night thinking."

"About?"

"My whole life..."

"I've lived for everyone else. I've always made decisions based on everyone else's happiness."

"I never asked what I wanted."

Alan quietly listened.

"I think… it's finally time I learn how to become independent."

He raised an eyebrow. "What exactly are you planning?"

"I want my internship outside the city."

He stared. "What?"

"I'll learn to live alone."

"I'll become stronger."

"I'll stop depending on everyone emotionally."

"And..."

I hesitated.

"If I'm not here..."

"Maybe Dax won't leave."

He sighed. "So this isn't just about becoming independent."

"You're trying to make things easier for him."

I smiled sadly. "Maybe."

He stood up immediately. "You can learn independence right here."

I shook my head. "No."

"Every day I'd keep worrying about Dax, about you."

"I'd never move forward."

"I need distance."

"Not to run away, but to grow."

He looked away. His jaw tightened.

"This means… I'll lose you again."

I stepped closer. "You'll never lose me."

Gently, I cupped his face. "I promise we'll talk every day."

I kissed his right cheek. "I promise even if Dax accepts us someday, I'll never hide our relationship."

Then I kissed his left cheek. And I promise… No distance will ever change how much I love you."

His eyes widened. His fingers slowly touched the place I'd kissed.

I laughed. "You look shocked."

He smiled helplessly. "I wasn't expecting that."

He gently brushed his thumb beneath my chin. "Will you really be okay alone?"

"I don't know, but I'll learn."

He stayed silent for a long moment. 

"Fine."

"We'll find the closest city."

"So I can visit my girlfriend often."

I grinned. "And she can visit her boyfriend too."

A huge smile spread across his face.

He stepped closer and held my chin, his eyes hovering over my lips. "May I?"

I nodded, and he gently captured my lips, kissing me slowly and warmly.

When he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against mine.

"I love you, Mils, more than words can explain."

"I love you too… too... too much."

He laughed softly. "I never imagined this version of Milie."

I blushed. "Don't make me regret becoming this version."

He smiled before kissing my forehead one last time.

"Get ready. I'll take you to college."

"Okay?"

I nodded.

"Okay."

I stood there long after he disappeared through the doorway.

My heart still hurt. Leaving my comfort zone terrified me. Leaving the people I loved terrified me even more.

But maybe, growing up wasn't about choosing between the people you loved.

Maybe it was finally learning not to lose yourself while loving them.

And for the first time, I was ready to try.