Chapter 83 She let him go

Chapter 83 She let him go
Milie's POV

Sammy made me walk out, but I couldn't move. My legs refused to move. My heart refused to leave. 

Everything inside me screamed the same thing— Go back. Go back to him.

Tell him yes. Tell him anything. Just don't let him disappear.

"No..." I shook my head violently. "No... I can't lose him."

Before I realized it, I had already turned. My feet began running toward the house again.

But Sammy stopped me, grabbing my wrist. 

He pulled me back gently but firmly. "Don't."

I struggled. "Sammy... please..."

"Milie, he needs time."

"He needs me." I cried. 

"He needs space first."

I looked at him desperately. "I'll tell him."

"I'll tell him I'll leave Alan. I'll tell him anything. I just..."

My voice shattered. "I can't lose him, Sammy."

Sammy closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them, there were tears.

"I know," he whispered. "I know you can't."

His hands rested on my shoulders. "But don't repeat the same mistake again."

I stared at him. "You've already tried leaving Alan."

"Again and again."

"And every single time, your heart brought you back."

Fresh tears spilled down my cheeks.

"I know. It still hurts, and it always will." He gently wiped my face.

"But if you go back now, you'll only aggravate this pain. You won't erase it."

His words cut through me, because somewhere, I knew he was right.

Months from now. A year from now. The same conversation would return.

And by then, I'd hurt everyone even more.

Sammy slowly turned me around to Alan. He was standing near his bike, watching us quietly with his hands inside his pockets.

He didn't interrupt. He didn't come closer. He simply waited, just like he had always. 

Sammy looked from me to Alan. "Look at him."

My eyes met Alan's. His face looked exhausted. His eyes were tired. 

"He loves you." Sammy said quietly. "And now ask yourself something."

His voice trembled. "If you walk back inside, will you really be able to look Alan in the eyes and tell him you're leaving?"

I froze. I stared at Alan, standing alone, smiling through his own pain. 

He was the same guy who searched the whole city for me, who sat beside me in the café for hours.

Who refused to leave me alone, who promised me that Daxton would come, who held me every time I broke, who considered my family as his own, irrespective of status between us, and never asked for anything. Not once.

"Could I really walk up to him and destroy him?" My chest tightened painfully.

I slowly shook my head. 

"No..." My whisper barely existed. "I can't."

Not because Daxton mattered less, but because hurting Alan would be even more heartbreaking. 

Sammy nodded sadly. "I know, you can’t." His voice cracked.

"I wish loving people was easier, Sammy."

He shook his head and led me towards Alan. "No, Milie. You have the right to love the person your heart chose."

"No friendship should ask you to stop loving someone."

I stopped and looked at Sammy. "I love him, Sammy."

"I know."

"I love Dax too."

"I know."

"But not like I love Alan, and I don't know why my heart works this way."

He kissed my head. "That’s okay, darling."

"What happened?" Alan approached us. His voice was calm.

"He still didn’t…" He couldn't finish the sentence.

I looked down, wiping my face. Alan understood. 

Without another question, he stepped closer, and I just collapsed into him. 

His arms wrapped around me instantly.

"He won't come back." I whispered. "He broke his promise."

Alan rested his cheek against my hair. "No, he broke a promise today, not your entire friendship."

I closed my eyes. "I know. He'll never forgive me. He will never."

"Give him time, Mils. You can’t expect him to understand it in one night.."

His heartbeat echoed against my ear, slow and steady, and I held him tighter. Because if I let go... I might run back to Daxton again. 

I felt torn between two. On one side was the boy who had seen me growing, who was the most precious one in my little world. 

On the other side was the man who had quietly stood by me without expecting anything in return.

I looked behind Alan towards the patio. 

My mind replayed everything. Daxton teaching me to ride a bicycle. Late-night guitar sessions.

The hammock. The stupid dares. His bike. The plants we'd grown together.

The promises, the childhood… Everything. 

My throat felt choked. The weight of everything finally became too much. "I can't. I can't do this, Alan."

My knees nearly gave way. Instinctively, I leaned against his arm, every bit of strength leaving my body.

He caught me before I could sink further.

Without caring who was watching, he lowered himself onto one knee with me and wrapped both arms around me.

"Enough." His voice was calm, but firm. "Enough, Mils."

His palm moved slowly over my trembling arm. "Look at me."

I couldn't. He gently lifted my chin. "Are you really going to face every problem in your life like this?"

I stared through blurred eyes.

"No more crying." His tone became harder than I had ever heard.

"This isn't the end of your life."

"If you miss Daxton..."

"If you want him back..."

"Then fight for him."

"Go tomorrow."

"If he doesn't listen, go the next day."

"If he still refuses, go again."

"Keep going until you have nothing left to say."

"Relationships don't survive because people never fight."

"They survive because people don't stop trying."

I stared at him. His words landed somewhere deep inside me.

"You don't solve anything by destroying yourself."

"Crying until you collapse won't bring him back."

"You have other responsibilities."

"Your parents, especially your father, your future."

"Don't abandon all of them because one part of your life is breaking."

I blinked. Somehow, my breathing slowed. The violent sobs eased into quiet sniffling. 

He sighed before roughly wiping away the tears still clinging to my cheeks. 

"Now come on, not one more tear."

He stood first, then grabbed both my arms and pulled me up with him.

"Fix your face. Your parents already have enough to worry about."

"They don't need another reason."

I nodded silently. Without another word, he walked toward the bike.

I stood there, watching him. For the first time since I'd met him, Alan looked genuinely angry.

Not at me, at the situation.

He climbed onto the bike, started the engine, then looked over his shoulder. "...Well?"

I blinked. "What?"

"What are you waiting for?" His tone was still clipped.

I hurried over and climbed onto the bike.

Instead of waiting for me, he reached back himself, took both my wrists, and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Hold properly."

"I don't want to."

I pouted and pulled my arms back.

He ignored me completely and tugged my arms over his waist again. 

A second later, the bike pulled onto the road.

Neither of us spoke. The silence stretched between us until my fingers tightened around him. 

"I'm sorry..." I whispered.

My forehead rested against his back.

"No." He exhaled quietly. "I'm sorry."

His voice had softened. "I just hate watching you forget yourself every time someone you love gets hurt."

"It hurts me. It doesn't matter whether it's me, Daxton, Sammy or anyone else."

"You carry everyone's pain like it's your responsibility."

"It isn't. You need to learn how to live your own life too."

"You deserve to make decisions because they're right for you, not because you're afraid someone else will cry."

I listened without interrupting. Every word found its place.

"I know..." I mumbled. "But I'm like this, especially for the people I love."

"I promise, I’ll try."

A small laugh escaped him. His hand reached back and ruffled my hair. "There she is."

I smiled despite myself. "I don't like this version of Alan."

He chuckled. "What version?"

"This..." I poked his shoulder. "Bossy version."

"Oh? So which Alan do you prefer?"

"Any version except this one."

He laughed properly this time. 

"Yeah, I like this one."

He lifted my hand from around his waist just enough to press a quick kiss against my knuckles before placing it back.

"But I like every version of you."

Heat rushed to my face. Without thinking, I hugged him tighter. My heart felt lighter instantly.  

I realized without Alan beside me, I would've broken completely.

Maybe that was the best thing about him. He always knew exactly what to say. Exactly when I needed it most.

"Of course, he is a big charmer." I smiled to myself and rested my cheek against his back.