Sharing Pain

Sharing Pain
Timothy
Tasha linked her fingers through mine as we walked into the funeral home. It was hard to pretend like I was okay. My mates all walked in huddled around me, almost shielding me from the curious stares all around us. Falcon walked in front of us, growling lightly at the sleuth members. They sat me in the front row before all taking places around me.
Tasha knew that I wasn’t ready to go up to the open casket and was content to wait with me until I was. I could see my mother’s beautifully made-up face over the edge from my seat and it made my heart ache. My grandparents had told me every night at bedtime tuck-ins how much she had loved me. With every story, my grandmother told me, it made it clearer just how poor of a mother figure my grandmother was.
Jamie put his hand on my thigh and I took a deep breath. I needed them and they all knew it. Raul kissed my cheek before getting up to escort his mother up to the casket. I watched as emotions flashed across her face and I began to wonder if the relationship between the two of them was deeper than I was told. She turned to me and held out her trembling hand. I knew what she wanted but I wasn’t sure if I could give it to her. She had told me that she had loved me like a son but it was still weird for me.
Falcon took my hand and tugged me to my feet. His arm went around my waist as he led me up to the casket. I tried to pull back but he refused to let me go. He opened our link and I struggled to keep it open. It was way harder than I had ever thought it would be.
‘I know how you feel, Timothy. I felt the same way about my father. I had Tasha back then. She knew my father. She didn’t know your mother. Valerie does. She is the only one who can understand your pain. Let her help you and in return, you can help her.’
He stopped in front of the casket and a small whimper escaped from me before I could stop it. My mother’s black hair was lovingly brushed and laid carefully over her shoulders. The flawless make-up made her look like a young woman just coming of age. Her face looked alive, like she was asleep. I glanced at Valerie and the deadness in her eyes made me take her hand. A tear rolled down her face and I pulled her into my side.
“She looks so perfect,” she murmured.
I nodded. “She was perfect. It’s only fitting that we remember her that way,” I told her.
She didn’t respond and we stood there for a long time before Falcon approached us again.
“I know that you want to stay here like this,” he said softly, “but it is time to lay her to rest.”
I nodded and led Valerie back to my seat. She laid her head on my shoulder and I took Tasha’s hand. Falcon cleared his throat and everyone fell silent.
“Thank you for all joining us to lay Rosemary to rest. I didn’t know Rosemary very well, none of us did but I do know that she was very loved. I also know a lot of you think that this is an unnecessary thing as she has been gone for a long time but be very aware that this is not for you or for the town. This is for her son, Timothy, and her first love, Valerie. Rosemary was 19 when she passed suddenly. There was a lie told about her death and I want to make it clear to everyone here exactly what it was,” Falcon started.
He took a deep breath. “Rosemary was attacked and murdered by Vincent. He had an unhealthy obsession with Valerie. One day while they were in the woods, he saw the two women making love and had a fit. He killed Rosemary for touching Valerie. A lot of our present was built on a false past. I can not think of any better way to rectify those lies and honor Rosemary than to not allow these lies to keep causing issues. Rosemary was a selfless, intelligent woman who would be disappointed in all of us and how we have led our people.”
“I have 7 mates. Rosemary had 2. My father had two. We have been so concerned about what our sleuth would think of us or what society would think of us that we forget the most important thing. Happiness. Rosemary was happy with Valerie. She was happy with her son and her husband. There was no wrong in how she lived her life. The only wrong was in how it was ended and how our leaders chose to handle it,” Falcon continued.
“Families were broken up and hearts were broken. Nobody can ever go back and fix it but I would like for all of us to come together and do better. Let Rosemary’s selfless actions and her love for life be an example of how we should live every day. We will be making changes in the sleuth and in the town to make sure this is done.” He paused to look at me. “Her legacy was short but it will never die. It will live on forever in her family and in her town,” he finished and I had to wipe a tear from my face.
I got up to hug him. He held me tight and I clung to him. He breathed in my scent and I buried my face in his neck as hot tears rolled down my face before trickling down his skin. Arms wrapped around my waist and I was pulled back. Tasha smiled up at me while the other five guys joined Falcon and the head of the funeral home. Valerie took my hand on my other side to follow the men as they carried the casket down to the open hole in the family plot at the cemetery the funeral home sat in front of. I tuned out the words of goodbye that people spoke as they shoveled dirt into the hole.
Each thud of soil on my mother’s final resting place shot daggers of sorrow into my heart. Falcon dismissed the sleuth after they had taken their turn shoveling dirt while the town mulled around the area until Jamie sent them home, too, leaving only Valerie, her family and my family. They stood around us while the hole was finished being filled. Falcon gently untangled Tasha’s arm from around my waist and pushed her toward Lee.
“Take her and Osprey home. Make sure they eat and get some food. I’ll wait here with Tim and Valerie until they are ready.”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll go home, too.” Valerie hugged me tightly. “Thank you, Timothy.”
I didn’t return her hug. I didn’t even acknowledge her. My eyes stared at the headstone that marked my mother’s grave.
Rosemary Waldon
Loving Mother, Wife and Mate
January 17th, 1984- March 30th, 2004
I knelt beside her headstone and traced each and every letter before looking up at Falcon.
“I didn’t even know her,” I whispered.
He sat behind me and tugged me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me tightly. “I know, Timmy, but that doesn’t change how you feel. She was your mother. I know you loved her.”
I wiped my nose on my suit sleeve. “Thank you for what you said. It was weird and bad timing like everything you say lately, but it was also true and I know I’ll be okay with you all by my side. Thank you for all of this. I love you.”
He kissed my neck as he started to rock me back and forth as I finally gave in to my grief. Tears poured down my face and he murmured softly to me.
“I love you, too, Tim. I always will.”