Chapter 62 Chapter LXII

Chapter 62 Chapter LXII
“Shit!” I mutter under my breath, trying to find a way out of this. I don’t want to talk to him now. I look…like I haven’t been out of my room for two days. My hair is up on top of my head in a messy bun, I’m wearing my oldest pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, and my socks are worn out and different from one another. I’m wearing my glasses because there’s no need for me to wear my contact lenses at home and just be uncomfortable with them in all the time. 
I don’t want to discuss our relationship looking like this. Especially if we’re talking about Kendal. That’d do wonders to my already low self-esteem. 
I ponder what to do. Should I run to the bathroom and take a shower before heading downstairs, even if I just took one a couple of hours ago? What if I apply some makeup just to try and look presentable? The bags under my eyes definitely need to be hidden. I look like a fucking panda. And not the cute type. Or maybe I should change into something less lazy that doesn’t scream, “I’m moping at home all weekend after finding out my boyfriend had a fiancée who looks like a Victoria’s Secret model.” 
Ugh! Why did he have to come all the way over here?
Deciding against all of this, I just jump out of my bed and rush down the stairs, ignoring the alerts going off in my head yelling at me that I look ridiculous. Whatever. Spencer has seen me at my best and worst, so it’s not like he hasn’t seen me like this before.
Thankfully, my parents don’t seem to be anywhere around the house as I step into the living room. I look around, checking if they might be in the kitchen or maybe even on the porch, but judging by the silence that reigns around me at this moment, I’m assuming they have already retired to bed. 
Good.
At least they won’t be listening to me and Spencer. It’s also encouraging to know that my siblings won’t show up out of nowhere since Chad is at his apartment, and Lauren went back to work. 
Opening the front door, I immediately spot Spencer leaning against the fence, his car parked a few feet away from him. He has his hands shoved into his jacket pockets, looking as handsome as ever. He’s wearing a black cap, covering his eyes and casting a shadow over his beautiful features. His chiseled jawline is still visible, but the dimples I love so much are nowhere in sight. Instead, all I can focus on is the way he’s clenching his teeth as if he’s mad at something.
Or better yet, someone.
That someone being me, of course.
I’m momentarily distracted by the way his dark hair pops from under his cap and curls slightly at the nape of his neck. 
“Glad to see you’re still alive and didn’t vanish into thin air like you made me believe for the past few days,” Spencer notes, his voice deep and cold. It causes shivers to run down my spine. 
I wrap my arms around my waist, protecting myself from the cold breeze outside, even though I still have my hoodie on, and the goosebumps I feel have nothing to do with the weather. 
Spencer’s athletic shoulders are tense under the fabric of his jacket, and he shows no intention of moving from where he’s standing. I take a few steps forward, walking off the porch and crossing the dirt drive in front of the house to get closer to him. I know he wants to talk, and there’s no need to act difficult anymore if I’m already out here. We might as well get this over and done with.
Whatever that means.
I swallow hard, trying to think of how to answer. 
“I just needed some time,” I finally say, studying his face even though I can’t see much of it in the dark.
I see his dimple making a brief appearance as he sneers at my reply. “Of course you did. I just didn’t think you’d need a whole weekend. I mean, it’d take you probably even more than that if I hadn’t shown up here tonight.”
I lower my head, staring at the way my UGG boots are drawing circles on the ground. “I’m sorry I acted childishly.”
“Yeah…” Spencer retorts, and even though I’m not looking at him, I can feel he’s not looking at me either. He sounds…annoyed and impatient. “I guess I’m the one to blame for believing you’d see this in a more mature way.”
I snap my head up, certain that I heard him wrong. “Excuse me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I ask under my breath. 
What is he implying with that?
“Well, if you had been mature enough to deal with it, you’d have come to my house or answered my calls so we could discuss this,” he accuses in the same bitter tone. “But you didn’t do that, did you? You hid in your room and avoided me so you wouldn’t have to fix this.”
“I don’t have anything to fix,” I hiss back, astounded. “You’re the one who kept crucial information about your past from me.”
“And I tried to explain myself to you, but you ran away. And don’t act like it’s my fault you didn’t know about it. I asked if there was anything you wanted to know about me, or my past, and what did you say? You didn’t want to know because it wouldn’t do us any good. I respected your wishes, so don’t put this on me, Hayden!” Spencer blurts out, his chest now moving heavily with his erratic breathing.
His eyes dart to my face, and I can tell they are dull and distant.
He has a point, and as much as it kills me to admit it, he is right. I didn’t want to know. True, I didn’t know what to expect, but I can’t hold it against him. I take a deep breath, sensing where our conversation is going. I can tell Spencer is mad. If any trauma still remains from our bitter breakup in the past, this would be the time where I’d fear losing him. 
And somehow, deep down, my heart is shrinking at the possibility of it.