Chapter 27:- Kiss of Death.

Two months later

"Yes Armaan you're doing great. Just try a little more." The physiotherapist Dr. Taylor encouraged Armaan as he tried stretching his legs against the resistance of the former's hands.

"Okay relax." Dr. Taylor placed his right leg on the bed and Armaan took few deep breaths to calm himself down. He feels a little breathless after every tiring and painful session of physiotherapy which had begun fifteen days back .

"You did really well today." The physiotherapist gave him plaudits everyday for his willpower because it was necessary for boosting his confidence. But his words didn't stir anything in Armaan and he still had that blank expression on his face.

Commonly these patients feel depressed when they suffer from a condition like paralysis, completely dependent on their family members for every little thing. They consider themselves a burden on their family and he was no different.

Like every other human, he felt useless when he was thirsty but had to wait for assistance. He developed a feeling of self-pity with each passing day, sometimes by the sympathetic look he received from his friends and family or sometimes because of the trouble he would cause, unknowingly and unintentionally.

All this was transpiring as irritation and anger on every small thing his parents did for him, everytime when either Khwaab or his parents had to stay with him for he couldn't be left alone. He had his moments of despair and helplessness and these feelings became entrenched in a way that ending his own life seemed the best option to him.

The pro's outweighed the con's and he tried the unexpected. Stealing the bottle of the sedatives from the medicine tray that was left on his bed by mistake, he decided to leave the world this way, silently .

Surely he'll be tagged as a coward and a selfish person but at that moment he didn't care about anything that will this world think or say about him. This dependency and desolation was killing him every second, so much that the love and hope his Khwaab instilled in him was overpowered by these moments of oppression. His heart desired freedom and this was the easiest opportunity that came his way.

To quit.

Maybe he is wrong for making his parents and loved ones suffer but nobody among them would ever understand his inner turmoil. Nobody could. And neither he wished this hell for them.

They'll cry for days or months or better, will hate him for lifetime but eventually everybody will move on from his death and will be freed from the burden he is putting on them with his every breathe , once and for all.

"Ms. Talwar today's session is completed and Armaan is doing great. The power in his arm muscles have increased and the day is near when he will be able to move them with full strength."

The doctor's words broke his trance and he stared blankly at Khwaab whose eyes were fixed on the doctor's face. Like his presence doesn't even matter to her anymore.

"Thankyou Dr. Taylor." As the doctor left she faced Armaan with a mocking smirk on her face. Nowadays she never smiles when she looks at him. He could see various emotions for himself in those eyes and unsurprisingly none of them is love.

"Well it's great nah Armaan, now you won't fail in your attempt, just like before. Here take these scissors. Take it." She ambled towards him and offered him the pair of scissors with a sarcastic remark. When he didn't move his hand she chuckled humourlessly and tossed it over his lap.

He silently heard her every statement and followed her actions that he could clearly see with the aid of the new spectacles he's advised to wear. He sat like a robot, followed what others advised or commanded him to do but there wasn't a single emotion that his eyes or face had ever expressed. These two months have transformed him into a person he never thought he would become one day.

"What? You didn’t understand ? Tsk... Armaan this time slash your wrist and mind you, deep enough that you shouldn't survive even if anybody among us reaches at the nick moment to save you. Okay?" She suggested him tauntingly and moved casually towards the couch disposing her bag there.

"Ta... talwar..." She turned around rashly, glowering at him that made him stop in between. He's never seen her angry to this extent. He just wanted to apologize, but was it enough?

"Don't. Don't you dare call me that. You have lost that right." She spat those words right on his face and shut her eyes to calm her down.

"You must be tired so sleep for a while. And I'm tired too so please don't disturb me. If you want something just press the bell and a nurse will come to attend you." She said irritatingly and made herself comfortable over the couch with her neck craned on the head rest. She closed her eyes and sighed tiredly. Taking morning lectures have drained her out but it's not just her profession but her personal life that has messed up her brain.

(He was still stammering)

“Khwaab, I am sorry. I realised that I was wrong but it’s been twenty days.” Her ignorance and rude behaviour constricted his already weakened heart. In these twenty days nobody had ignored him but just became overprotective and extra careful with him. No one had let him feel guilty for what he did and to lessen their burden he followed everything mechanically and robotically.

But today he was stunned to see her like this. There was flicker of astonishment and fear in his eyes which appeared dead otherwise.

Has he lost her?

But that is what he wanted right? Leaving everyone behind to find freedom and tranquillity. He was puzzled because it didn't feel good at all when his parents behaved distanced from him since last night and now Khwaab too.

What should he do now to gain her attention? He wanted to scream and call her but no words escaped from his lips instead he sobbed harder feeling pathetic. He loathed himself every moment.

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty for my behaviour. You know right how dangerous stress can be for you. Stop crying!" Hearing his sobs Khwaab marched towards him with anger and frustration that did nothing but added more to his remorse. He hiccupped and Khwaab pulled her hair in annoyance.

"Armaan I said stop crying like a kid. I'm fed up of all this." She rebuked appearing vexed , that broke all the self restraint Armaan has put on his feelings and exasperation.

"Then why did you save me? To show me how painful it is to see hatred in your eyes for me.” And there it was, disgust and misanthropy shimmering in his eyes for himself. Finally he expressed his inner feelings that he had suppressed within him for two long months . Their efforts of last two days paid off when Khwaab's coldness and effrontery forced him to question his existence.

"No!! I saved you for your parents whom you were punishing for aeons. I saved you because I couldn’t loose you and I saved you because... because I wanted you to live. But I didn’t know that my Armaan has already lost the battle, that the Armaan I’ll be getting back is nothing but a mere robot. But you don’t have to worry about it since we all mean nothing to you and you have conveyed that perfectly with your selfish actions.”

Armaan kept staring at Khwaab as his brain registered her each word filled with castigation. His heart shattered when realisation dawned upon him about the impact of his selfish actions on his loved ones.

He doesn’t deserve to be a part of their lives anymore.