"Hey, Lottie, look at me." His hands come up to run over my jaw, forcing me to look into his eyes. "Queen," my voice comes out shattered and I hope he doesn't notice it. "I couldn't even control my own life before you. Now I'm scarily dependent on you. How am I supposed to do that for others?" "This is why I didn't want you to know yet," he whispers pulling me in tighter to his chest. "Because you're human only the wolves that have met you will recognise you as there Queen. They have a link to you like all wolves have to me and only when I mate you will all other wolves have that connection to you." Shaking my head I try to sink that little bit further into his touch even though there isn't any space left between us. I'm so close to him that I'm breathing his warm breathe. "It's a lot to take in." I whisper into his chest. "I know baby," I smile at the use of the nickname but it still isn't enough to calm my feelings. "My mum's going to help you through it. It might be difficult to get used to. I mean I was angry about it for a couple of years. I have no control over my life but you don't have to do this if you don't want." "But I want you." I slide my hand up around his neck and tease my fingers through his hair. He leans his head into my touch and goes to say something back to me but Riley appears across the patio. Ryder sighs pulling back from my touch when he sees her but he continues with whatever he was about to say to me. "You will always have me. Being the queen is just something that comes along with it, but if you want to know something. Everything that I go through everyday all disappears when I get to see you." He presses a quick kiss to my lips. He waves Riley over when I rest my head down his shoulder and he's the one that lifts my shirt up so she can easily remove the stiches from over my ribcage. Her hands are cool, unlike all the other wolves' warm ones. I leave the subject alone, liking the contrast of it against the warmth of Ryder's chest against my back. "There you go Lottie. That should heal up easily now but if you have any pain tell Ryder." She tells me with a small nod of her head towards him. "Now about these memories, I'm guessing that it's hard for you to tell Ryder let alone me or anyone else, but the best way to get them to stop is to get it all out. So if you ever see them or feel anything from it, just tell him even if it hurts and you're scared of how he will react to it. He just wants you to be happy and comfortable, ok, he'll help you anyway he can, you just have to let him." Her voice turns to a tone that suggests that it was a private conversation and Ryder isn't just behind me. Ryder's arms circle around me tighter as I nod at her. I'm glad that I don't have to talk to her about anything but I still don't think I'll be able to handle the look on Ryder's face when he has to hear about everything that's happened to me through my life. I understand her words though and it brings tears to my eyes. "Hey, it's all right." Ryder whispers shifting me around in his lap as he gently drops me down in the space next to him on the chair, "Eat something, your weight should come back to normal easier now." His carrying words are effortless as they leave his mouth. "Do you have to leave today?" I ask him leaning into his side, ignoring what he said. He sighs and pulls the full plate in closer to us. "No, I'm spending the day with you. Come on, can you eat?" My legs are still over his and when I don't react to him he gives a tight squeeze of my thighs getting my attention. My head drops back onto his shoulder and I look up into his gorgeous hazel eyes, he smiles softly, pulling my hair over my shoulder and exposing his mark that's partially hidden by his shoulder. "You're scared I can feel it." He says his hand moving towards the table but I keep eye contact with him. "Relax." "You tell me to relax a lo- hey." He's laughing at me and holds my hands back when I try to wipe away the whipped cream he swiped across the tip of my noise. I laugh gently his arms preventing me from moving as I stick my tongue out trying to get the cream off. "Hey, what?" He's watching me with a smile on his face as I struggle to get the cream from my nose. "I didn't do anything but you seem to be struggling a little bit there." His voice is quiet his smile and laugh lost in the soft seductive tone of his voice. "I'll get it." Whiskers of the little stubble on his jaw tickle as he licks up my nose. Goose bumps cover my arms at the sensation it gives my body but mainly the curdling warmth fluttering deeply in the pit of my stomach. A drop of the cream falls down onto my lips and he eyes it for a second before he slides a hand up into my hair holding me steady as he allows my body to relax in his arms as his lips come down against mine. His kiss is soft, his hand cupped lightly around the back of my neck holding me in close to him. When he's tongue pushes against my lips I gasp giving him the entry that he wants and the entry I need. His tongue runs along the side of mine and I can taste the whipped cream with even a hint of chocolate. I can even feel his smug smile against my lips and I give him one back, slipping my tongue to move against his. "No," I exhale as he tries to pull back from me but I lock my fingers in his hair, holding me to him. I feel him smile grow against my lip as his fingers hook into my belt loops pulling me up further into his lap a hand moving up beneath my shirt to massage against my spine as I straddle his waist. When his hand moves over the clasp of my bra, I drop my head back with a deep exhale of breathe, noting even more of the feeling of having his crotch pressed this closely to mine. When my lips part from his they come back down next to my neck, just below my jaw and I moan as he sucks at the skin, pulling the blood to the surface leaving a different mark against my skin. He continues to pepper kisses down my neck till his teeth graze over my mark and I actually pull at his hair pulling him away from the intense feelings he's causing me. "Ryder," He hears me. I don't know how with how breathless it was.