My hands drop over his sliding them up my stomach showing him the bandage that's hiding the cut. The fact that he still asked do that makes me feel all that more comfortable with him. He sighs a little and slips his hands from beneath mine leaving them to hold my shirt as he begins to unwrap the bandage. Usually Ellie is the one to check and care for it. I wasn't exactly comfortable with Ryder looking at it before, I didn't like seeing the pain that crossed his features when he saw it but now I can't see myself letting anyone else doing it. Looking down to where his hands dance delicately against my skin, I see that the wound has closed up enough that the stiches are loose. The cut is still a little darker and scabbed over a little but it's closer to the beginning of a pink scar. "It should heal completely by the end of the day but it might take a day or two to disappear completely. I'll get Riley to come into the courtyard and take the stiches out before they get infected or anything." He drops his hand back down pulling my hands and shirt down with them leaving the bandage sitting it over the back of the lounge. "I really like this shirt on you, you know?" he whispers stepping in closer to me. The length of his body is pressed against mine. My hearts beating fast as he slides his fingers into the back pockets of my jeans, holding me in close to him. "Slow," I whisper, breathing against the skin of his chest revealed by the deep V-neck of his shirt. Ryder sighs but he doesn't pull back away from me. "Are you uncomfortable?" he asks his fingers flexing around my butt. I'm not. I'm far from being uncomfortable in his arms and having his hands on a place so intimate makes me happier than I've ever been before. When I don't answer him he begins to pull away from me coming to his own conclusion that he's making me uncomfortable. My arms are quick to wrap around his neck holding him to me. "Don't let go." He tightens his hands in my jean pockets. "I love you. I know I do. But I'm not ready to go that far. Whenever I close my eyes now, even blinking I see his face. Your touch stops it." "When I touch you," he begins hesitantly. "Anywhere like how he did, or even kiss you, it doesn't remind you of him does it?" Shaking my head Ryder sighs lifting a hand up into my hair and the other wrapping around my waist, shifting from the comfortable place they found in my pockets. He presses a kiss against my temple his hands stroking through the thick strands of dark locks loosely hanging down my back. "Riley has some therapy methods, I want her to try. It will stop all this for you." "I just want to talk to you." "I don't know how to help you. I will be right beside you when you speak to her if you wish but please baby, I need to know that you'll be ok without me around." Without him around? "Careful of projecting your thoughts, if you do it too loudly your guards will here. Sometimes I have to leave to work with the packs and most of those times you will be put in danger being there." He begins making me sad about the distance it will make between us. "And if by chance something were to happen to me, the guards, yours specifically know to protect you over me. I need to know that these memories are going to stop haunting you." He loosens his hold on me but I tighten mine around him, liking the comfortable feeling of his hold. His hands slide up over my hips sending those tingles that I know now are linked to the bond between us. With all the confused feelings that I had towards Ryder and wondering whether he felt them back I was blind to the all the signals and facts that I knew were true that if I just picked them all up that little bit earlier I would have realised what I was to him and avoided all the shit I felt. "Lottie," he laughs his hands coming up around mine and gently pulling them from his neck. "You need to eat something." He has one of his hands wrapped tightly around mine and the other comes back to slide back over my hip and on to my stomach. Now I realise why he had such an insistent need to keep my weight up. I've seen how carefully Maxon watches Ellie when she's in the same room as him. He'll mostly be concentrated on whatever conversation he's having with Ryder but if she so much as flexes a muscle his eyes are watching her ready to move at a moments notice to sweep her up in his arms. When we finally get out of the suite and reach the door to the courtyard, the guard there doesn't hesitate to let us in and he actually bends at his waist, bowing towards me, not Ryder. "You're Majesty." Ryder's hand tightens around mine and I take little notice of it. You're Majesty. There's a slight shake conquering my hands now even though I've been trying to trap them inside me. I can't believe that it all went over my head. Nausea is begging to rear its ugly head deep down in my stomach again. Ryder is pretty much dragging me out into the garden now. The table has been set up with the lavish food that I've grown accustomed to. Ryder's hand lets go of mine and he wraps it around my shoulders and his other moving to my knees. He lifts me from the ground as he sits down on one of the chairs dropping me down onto his lap.