Chapter 8: Ryder's lips are rough against mine. Trying to force them open and show his dominance by inserting his tongue into my mouth. I let him. The electric shocks that run through me when his tongue runs along the side of mine, I feel like I've been struck by lightning. I don't know whether I should move or not. Maybe if I acknowledge what he's doing he'll stop, and I'm enjoying what he's doing. He's expressing something for me that I didn't think he felt. His arm is tight around my waist holding me into him almost forcing me to react and kiss him back, to battle my tongue with his. I feel his claws extended and they sink lightly into my skin forcing me further but he's holding himself back so he doesn't hurt me. When the pressure in my stomach gets to be unbearable I finally move my lips with his. They move together and his hips grind against mine again. He even grunts lowly in his throat. "Ry, I swe..." Maxon's voice is angry as he pulls the doors open. Ryder pulls off me and moves quicker than I ever seen him to stand a couple meters away from me. Maxon seems to have forgotten what he originally came in here for, which is Ryder, who is visibly shaking as he runs his hands up over his face to lock into his hair. Maxon moves just as fast to stand in front of me. His hands come down on my shoulders and Ryder growls but Maxon surprises me more by growling back at him. His fingers continue to move up and over my neck, pressing them down to check my pulse. "Will he be alright?" My eyes have been watching Ryder the entire time. Maxon chances a look over his shoulder at his king pacing back and forth in front of the door. He's watching me and after what just happened it's making me uncomfortable. His claws are fully extended now but he has his arms crossed to hide them but I can see that his eyes are shifting between a deep black and their regular hazel. "You've worked him up, but he should be fine." Maxon says releasing his hold on me and Ryder relaxes his shaking stopping at the same time. "Just don't leave the suite, ok. Ry has some stuff he has to figure out and we need to keep you safe." Maxon leaves after that and I met Ryder's eyes for a second before he tenses, following behind Maxon. I can still see them through the open doors and I can witness the closeness of their friendship. I jump when Ryder punches the wall and a bit of the wood panelling splinters. Maxon pulls him back and down the hallway talking to him about something. The tall blonde wolf is watching me. It's Reynolds. He tilts his head in sympathy before he nudges the door closed with it and I'm left alone in the room with my thoughts. It takes no longer than a couple of seconds for me to drop down on to the floor my hands coming up to cover my eyes, the tears falling out to soak in the bandages still wrapped around them. Not too long later Ellie's hands are wrapped around my wrist and she's pulling my hands away from my face. "Hey, come on." Her voice is soft as she lifts me up from crumpled position on the floor. "Showering always helps with high stress levels and it'll keep the skin around your wound clean as well. Just don't put direct water pressure on it or soap." Ellie's surprised when I allow her to help me in the bathroom. Before I was scared of being naked in front of her but I'm becoming more comfortable. My minds in a haze from how I reacted to what Ryder did and what he actually did. All Ellie does is help me get undressed and she shows more concern when I wince as she pulls my shirt up over my head. When the bandages are gone from around my waist and hands I feel much more relaxed and Ellie seems to notice it as she helps me out of my jeans leaving me in privacy after that. Hot water washes down over my head, soaking my body in natural warmth other than what I feel from what Ryder's touch gives me. Gingerly my fingers run over my lips. I can still feel his lips, the warmth of it and the amazing tingles that it shot straight through to my stomach. It was like butterflies, there wings tickling against my insides making me want him to continue with whatever he had in mind. His touch was rough and all I could think about it was that he wanted to claim me. Take me as his. Allie had said that Royal wolves were more dominate then even normal wolves. Ryder showed that and it enticed me. I was feeding off it. This could all mean nothing to him if his mate where to show up tomorrow. Without a doubt I would be kicked out of this room and down to the third floor with everyone else that resides here. I would have nothing without him so what would be the point in staying and watching him live happily with another when I can just go back to London and pick up all the pieces of my life. Thinking back to the words that Allie had said early make all this possibility of what could happen even more painful. The only thing I read from her words that if Ryder hasn't met his mate yet than possibly he never will and that I could fill that void in his life. Two halves of a whole, together as one. It is one of the most romanticised things I've ever heard and growing up in Carlett I heard a lot of it. Here, the way Ryder said it, his voice made it sound true. The idea of that being us sends goose bumps up and down my arms. If only it were true. His other half is out there and they will find each other and I will be left in the dust. His kiss was a kiss of desperation. I was just another girl that he was using to physically fill her place another face while he searched the crowds for hers. He felt nothing towards me emotionally and that isn't the way I want to be treated, especially by him. My back slides down the cool tiles of the shower. The shower head is massive and I can feel it watering down on me heavily washing at the tears that have broken through the strong barricade that I have created.