Chapter 63: Pain & Regret

Chapter 63: Pain & Regret
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Jack's POV:
The pain when your heart feels like it's ripped into pieces is the kind of pain, or worse than that, I'm feeling right now. Looking at her back, the words she said just a while ago are still playing in my ears.
She ordered me to leave her alone. Only if she knew, my soul could leave my body today, but my body would never leave this room until she forgave me.
She can shout at me or slap me until her anger gets satisfied; at least in that way, she will talk to me and touch me.
I look at her back. My hands are itching to hug her, but I know she is angry, and I know it would be better if I didn't do whatever my filthy mind is telling me to do.
After taking a deep breath, I touched her hand to hold her, only for her to push my hand away.
"Amore, I... I know whatever I did hurt you so much. For this, you can beat me till you want; you can do whatever you want, but... but don't tell me to leave you. I can't do this," I said, but rather than sounding sad, it came out in an arrogant tone.
Fuck my mouth.
Hearing me, she turned toward me and looked at me with her furious eyes.
"You are ordering me?" she asked.
"No, I... I..." I tried to explain myself, but she cut me off in the middle.
"After all the trouble, you still have the guts to order me, huh? You know what? You don't have to leave me because now I'm leaving you." Saying this, she pushed me, but obviously, my body didn't move even an inch.
I could feel something starting to burn inside my body just by thinking of her leaving me. When I didn't move, she started to go by my side. When her body touched mine, I immediately held her hand and pulled her toward me.
"You are not going anywhere," I said while looking at her eyes, which were filled with tears because of me.
"Leave me, Jack," she said and started pushing me away.
"No, I'm not leaving you," I said, tightening my hold on her arms. I know I'm a bastard, and whatever I'm doing is giving her more pain. But as everyone knows the kind of person I am, I will end up hurting both of us, but I will not let her go away from me.
"You have, especially after whatever you have done. After that, I will never forgive you. Never. Did you hear me?" she said.
"I'm okay to live with that, but living a life where you are not beside me-this will never happen until I'm breathing, Amore, and you have to understand this."
"Ohh, so you want me to see your face every day and remember that I can't be a mother and how you fucking lied to me about everything so easily, like... like all this was so easy for you," she said and gave me a painful smile.
"You think it didn't hurt after knowing what we have lost? You think it didn't affect me as it did you?" I asked her.
"Why would this affect you, Jack? You? I asked you, then you would have told me about it. It's my body, Jack, and it's my right to know this," she said, and with this, tears started falling from her eyes.
"I know it's your right to know this, but... but I didn't tell you this because I didn't have the strength to see you in pain." I tried to explain to her.
"And you didn't think about how I would feel when I would get to know this. You didn't think of the pain I'm feeling right now. I'm feeling betrayed, not by someone else but by the guy I trust in the world, whom I love so much."
I looked at her. How do I tell her why I didn't tell her about this? How I didn't want her to see herself as incomplete or feel insecure? I didn't want her to think she wasn't perfect when, in reality, she is the most perfect girl. I didn't want to lose her.
I didn't want to lose my Amore.
How do I explain to her how much it's hurting me to see her in pain? How I want to destroy every reason for her pain, but this time I'm... I'm the reason for her pain.
She is thinking I didn't think of her pain. When the reality is this: Jack William only thinks of his Amore-her smile, her eyes, her love, her pain, everything about her.
Only if she knew what she does to me. Her hating herself is giving me more pain than thinking of her hating me. From now on, when she looks at herself in the mirror, she would not smile at herself; she would look at herself differently.
I looked at her, who was looking at me as if expecting me to explain myself. Then she shook her head as if she were done with me, and with this, she again started to struggle in my arms.
Looking at her struggle, I finally did what I wanted to do. I kissed her. I didn't kiss her to stop her from questioning me, but I kissed her so I could explain to her how much she matters to me and how much it's hurting me to see her like this.
She stopped struggling for some time, only to continue again; this time, she was hitting me with her small fist. I held both her hands and twisted them behind her, locking them in my one hand, and with the other, I pulled her closer to me by her head.
I kissed her, and this time, this kiss was different, not like any other time. This kiss was filled with pain, regret, and fear. Fear of losing her. I'm feeling pathetic that I can't give her emotional support. I'm not able to say words that could calm her down, which could tell her that her Jack cares for her and only cares for her.
I suck her lips slowly with so much patience, which is surprising for her too. Because patience and patience can't come in one line, but today I will do anything and everything that could make her understand.
I can feel she has stopped struggling too and started kissing me back. But she was not kissing me like she does every time. She was biting my lips and my tongue; anger and pain were clearly visible in her kissing.
I almost smirked, feeling this. My Amore is punishing me.
After some time, we left each other's lips. A thick layer of saliva passed through our lips. I opened my eyes and looked at her. Her eyes were closed, and she was breathing heavily.
"Don't you fucking dare to look down, you motherfucker."
My mind warned me, but I'm someone who only listens to my Amore, so I did what my mind was telling me not to do.
I looked down at her chest, which was moving up and down rapidly because of the way she was breathing heavily.
Only I know how I stopped my hands from touching her, no, my babies. I was looking at them when I felt something soft under my chin, and the next second, my eyes met small, angry eyes.
Oh shit, we are having a serious conversation, and here I can't even control my perverted self.
She shook her head in disappointment and then pushed me away. This time, my hold was loose on her arms; because of this, she was able to free herself from me.
As she freed her arms from my grip, she moved toward the door. When she was in front of the door, she looked at me through her shoulder when she felt I wasn't coming toward her.
First, she gave me a confused look because there is no way I don't go after her, especially when she is going away from me. After looking at me for a few seconds, she rolled her eyes at me and walked toward the door.
Wait, did she just roll her eyes at me??
This woman is actually testing my limits now. I don't think I would be able to control myself for long if she continues behaving like this.
I looked at her ass, which was moving up and down, asking for me to give some spanks on it. Soon, she was standing in front of the door and held the door handle to open the door. But when she turned the handle and pulled it, surprisingly, the door didn't open.
"What have you done, Jack??" She finally shouted at me after so many failed attempts to open the door.
"Tell me you are not going to leave me?" Rather than answering her question, I asked her. She looked at me for some seconds and then said,
"Yes, I'm leaving you."
She said these words like it was so easy for her to leave me. She doesn't know how much it hurts just by hearing these words.
Only if she knew, I would choose death over living a life where she is not beside me.
I closed my eyes, and after taking some deep breaths, I said,
"This is not going to happen even on my dead body, Amore." I looked at her face, which was turning pale after hearing me, because she knows I do what I say.
Seeing me coming close to her, she immediately went to the other side of the room.
I looked at her, and I didn't even realise when a dark look covered my face. I'm scaring her. But what should I do? Just thinking of her leaving me is making me want to burn the world, including myself.
What would be the point of this life when I would not have my Amore?
I closed my eyes to calm my monsters so I could not do what my mind was telling me to do. My mind was telling me to throw her on my shoulder and then tie her to this bed and show her what she is to me. Leave marks of my obsession on each part of her body to show her how fucking obsessed I am with her.
Love?? Yes, I love her, but love says you should let go of the person when they don't want to live with you. This is love, bullshit. I'm a fucker, a selfish monster who is not kind enough to let her leave me. Leaving me is not even a choice for her. I would never let her go; I'm okay to tie her to me for the rest of our lives, but letting her go...
This is not going to happen.
I opened my eyes and looked at her, who was still looking at me.
"Amore, if you think I'm letting you go just because of disappointing you, then you are thinking so wrong," I said, then moved toward her, but she took a step back, making her back touch the wall.
I smirked, looking at her taking a step back, then walked closer to her. I stopped when I was standing in her personal space.
I put my hands beside her head, then looked at her.
"YOU. ARE. NOT. GOING. ANYWHERE. AMORE," I said while looking at her.
"You can't cage me here, Jack. I want to leave, and I will leave," she answered me while looking into my eyes.
I smirked, then bent till her face.
"You can't even take one step outside this room without my permission, Amore. So if you think you can leave this house, then forget about it." Saying this, I sucked the tears that fell from her eyes.
"I'm not your puppet, Jack," she almost shouted this time. Tears were falling from her eyes; hurt was clearly visible on her face.
I wiped her tears with my thumb and licked it. I pulled her close to me from her waist.
"You are my owner, Amore, and the one who is a puppet here is me. And I'm so selfish to let my owner leave me alone like this." Saying this, I bent and lifted her onto my shoulder.
"Ahhhh, Jack, what are you doing? Leave me. Put me down now." She started shouting and hitting my back with her fist. Today, she was wearing bracelets on her wrists; that's why when she hit my back this time, it really hurt me so hard. Only if I could tell her that it damn hurt me.
She was moving her legs continuously, and the next second, the sound of a slap echoed through the room, making her freeze.
"Did you just..." she whispered slowly.
I smirked, feeling this, then rubbed her ass where I had just slapped her, only to slap that area again. This time, I smacked her a little harder than last time.
"Ahhhh, Jack!" She shouted in pain and moved her hand to cover her butt. But before she was able to do this, I threw her onto the bed.
She bounced a little on the bed, making her chest bounce a little. She rubbed her ass, then glared at me.
Now she is looking like a tiger who is ready to eat me alive. Only if she knew how much I'm stopping myself from eating her raw and hard against the bed.
She sat on the bed, then tried to leave from the other side of the bed. But before she could succeed in this, I moved faster than anything and immediately held her ankle and pulled her down onto the bed.
She looked at me and again tried to move back, but this time, I pinned her on the bed with my weight.
"Jack, I'm telling you, let me go; otherwise, you don't know what I will do with you," she threatened me. I can see how angry she is right now. I can even imagine fire in her eyes.
"I will let you do anything with me, Amore. You can even kill me with your hands, and I will not stop you." As I said this, she stopped struggling and looked at me.
"Also, I don't think there would be anything more peaceful than dying by your hands, Amore."
"Shut up, Jack. If you say this dying thing again, then..." She stopped in the middle of the sentence.
"Then what, Amore?"
"Then I will never talk to you in my whole life," she said. I could feel my ears burning like fire.
I smirked, looking at her face. She looked so cute in anger, and again, only God knows how I'm controlling myself.
Today, God is literally testing my patience.
"What?" She raised her eyebrow as she saw how I was looking at her.
"You are so cute." Saying this, I kissed her lips.
She blinked her eyes at me, and her cheeks immediately turned red. I couldn't tell if she was blushing or if it was red from anger.
I hope it's a blush.
"Stop this. I'm angry at you," she said while glaring at me.
"I can't. My hands automatically ache to touch you, and you don't know how I'm stopping myself from touching you."
She made her eyes small like she was making fun of me.
"You are already touching me, Jack."
I looked at her wrists, which were in my hands. Then at her.
"You are really thinking this is touching?"
She looked at me for some seconds, then said,
"Don't tell me you have lost your eyes along with your brain because this is what normal people call touching."
Silence covered the room for some time.
"Jack, if I hadn't found out all this today, would you never have told me the truth?" She whispered this question, breaking the silence.
I looked at her for some time.
Would I ever tell her the truth??
If the truth brings pain to her. The truth which would bring self-doubt in her eyes. The truth which would only destroy her. The truth which would bring tears to her eyes. Then I would have to deal with the tears rather than telling her. I would never tell her the truth, even on my deathbed.
"Yes."
Her facial expression changed, and a smile came on her face.
"You are not going to leave me, right?" I asked her, expecting a no from her. But I only received silence from her. She was looking at me with tears and helplessness.
Looking at her, I left her wrist and then stood from the bed, making her sit on the bed and look at me in confusion.
I knew whatever I was going to do now would give her pain.
"Forgive me, Amore," I whispered while looking at her.
I saw her looking around in confusion.
"What do you mean, Jack?"
I took some steps back, creating a painful distance between us.
She stood from the bed and looked at me.
"Please forgive me." Saying this, I finally took a step back, and with this, a white wall came in front of me.
In a few seconds, the sound of banging on the door started coming.
"Open the door, Jack."
"Jack... Jack, you can't lock me like this, Jack," she shouted while banging on the door.
She was hitting the door, and I'm sure it was hurting her, but it's hurting me more seeing her like this.
Yes, she can't see me, but I can see her from outside.
"Jack, let me go, please, Jack. Open this, please, Jack," she shouted again, and this time more loudly. While shouting, she fell on the floor as she had finally lost her strength.
"I'm sorry, Amore. But I'm so selfish to let you go away from me." I whispered, then walked closer to her. I looked at her broken state, the way her face was covered with hair and tears.
Looking at her state, I know in trying to fix this situation, I unknowingly BROKE HER.
Third-person POV:
Naina was sitting inside the room, not knowing Jack was looking at her. The glass wall was made in a way that Naina couldn't see from inside, but Jack could see her from outside.
Jack walked toward her, then sat on his knees. He was sitting in front of her. He looked at her face, which was red because of crying.
Jack placed his hand on the glass like he was touching her and trying to wipe the tears. Suddenly, he felt something on his chin. When he touched his chin and looked at his hand, it was water.
It took him some time to realise that he was crying.
He doesn't remember the last time he cried, maybe when he was a small kid. But after he grew up, he never even cried once. He only knows how to make others cry.
He was silently looking at his tears as if still trying to figure out if he was crying or dreaming.
Then he looked at her. Looking at her, he realised only she was the one who had the power to make him do anything.
Today, when he got to know his men couldn't find her anywhere, fear gripped his heart. Thinking about where she went or if something had happened to her. What if... what not... was eating him alive from inside.
He shut the meeting in the middle and literally ran from his office.
Everyone was shocked, looking at him running like a madman. Some even recorded him on their phones, but he didn't care about all this.
He drove his car and reached the hotel where the last location of her was showing. He was searching for her in the whole city like a crazy person.
When he got to know she had reached home, he felt like a part of his body had returned.
He was worried and scared for her.
The moment he saw her standing in front of him, he lost it. Rather than asking her calmly, he shouted at her.
He didn't mean to shout at her, but the fear that something had happened to her was making him impatient.
But the moment she slapped him and threw her reports at his face, for the first time in his life, he was praying that this was a dream. Because he used to get dreams like this regularly.
Sadly, this time, his nightmare became reality. He was somehow prepared to handle her, but when she said things like leaving him...
Something broke in him. He didn't know what he was doing. The only thing troubling him was her leaving him.
He was prepared to live with her silence.
Living with her anger.
Living with her hate.
Even if she stopped loving him.
He was okay with it. But a life where there was no Naina beside him? No, he didn't want that life.
If someone asked him if he regretted not telling her the truth, the answer would be no.
He didn't regret that decision and never would. He knew that in anger, sometimes he made some wrong decisions, and this time, he again made a wrong decision. But this time, it was because of fear.
When she walked towards the door, he made a decision to lock her. He knew it was wrong; he should talk to her, but again, he was not someone who knew how to explain his reasons.
He thought that when she was calm, he would talk to her, but in doing this, he hurt her more than anything.
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In a dark room, a man was hitting someone so brutally. The screams of the man were echoing throughout the whole room, which was enough to make anyone faint in fear.
" You only had one job to do, and even in that you failed, so what's the point of your living, huh??" someone said, and a firing of a gun, then silence.
That men started cleaning his gun as if there was no dead body present in the room. He slowly cleaned his gun, then put the gun in his pants. With this, he turned and walked out of the room.
There were so many men present in the room, and each one of them was scared for their life. The look at the dead body of their friend, whose only mistake was not following her. They knew that if they didn't do their work properly, especially if it involved her.
Then no one was able to save them from death. They silently wiped their head and prayed that she wouldn't do anything like this again, which led again to a brutal death.
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Who is he? And why did he do that ??
Will Jack cage her for this?
What will Naina do ??
Also tell me how many times Jack mentioned him controlling himself 🤣🤣
What will happen next ??
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