#92 Luna & Luna

That woman is really strange. She's lonelier than I am... I know she didn't have a pack before, but I don't understand how she really doesn't see any human at all. She seems like a young and strong female. Do human males have no need for her? She is able to feed herself too, although I don't see her hunt. I leave to hunt for myself, but I never see her get any meat for herself, and she doesn't try to take mine.

I know she doesn't trust me. She never shows me her back, and she always looks out for where I am in her lair. She talks a lot too, but I've gotten used to it by now. ...Did she turn my mate into a man so he could understand her? Unless we are old, wolves are not meant to be alone for long. So are humans, I suppose... Yet, this female is always alone. No human ever visits her, which I cannot really understand. Was my mate her only companion? Why doesn't she look for a pack at all? Or does she like her territory too much, perhaps? How peculiar...

Perhaps because I am no longer a young wolf, those quiet days by her side, trying to understand this strange human, are going by faster than I realize. Winter comes back already, the first dashes of snow taking me by surprise. The woman is still wary of me, but she's grown accustomed to my presence. She even shares her food with me, a strange thing as she knows I'm capable of hunting for my own. I think she is trying in her own way to befriend me, but I still can't make up my mind about her. Curiosity about the one my mate seemed so fond of led me here, but after all this time, I still cannot understand. He was the best Alpha of our pack, and yet, he was so strangely drawn to here. What trick did she use to have him stay so long by her side, every day? Does she know where he has gone off to?

I still look for him sometimes... I hope he will come back, although there's no sign of him. No trace, no scent, nothing. It breaks my heart over and over that I can't even find a trace of him. Did he become a coat on a human's strange skin like so many other wolves? The humans have been targeting more and more of us.

I follow that woman when she leaves her house, with each time with the hope she will guide me to my mate. I know I should have abandoned it by now, but... I don't see what else to do. I long for the sight of his black fur, for his warmth and his beautiful eyes, his strong teeth, his superb figure. He was so strong, and fierce... Oh, I miss him so much.

Each time, the woman stops in front of a strange little stone that makes me feel... odd. I do not understand the way of humans. Why does she need to cry over a stone? She talks a lot, too, each time we're there, but she goes silent when we go back to her warm and large lair. I wish I'd understand what she says... She's begun talking more and more to me now, with a lot less crying. Her eyes don't seem so fearful or defiant when she looks at me now; we are not enemies, and I don't have a reason to attack her. She hasn't harmed me, she just acts like a lone wolf. I just don't want her to touch me. I am no dog, I shall not let a human pet me. I only growled once, as a warning, when I felt her hands on my fur, and she's kept off of it since. At least, she understands the wolves, it seems, better than I understand her human ways...

"...What is it you want, by staying here?"

There she goes again... It's late, and I just want to fall asleep by this nice, warm burning fire she set up. That woman gets a lot more chatty once the sun sets, for some reason. During the day, she just does thing after thing, merely saying a few things once in a while, and I go hunting, but when I come back and I just want to enjoy my meal by the fire, she starts. Again.

"I do not understand you, wolf... You don't seem to hate me, or fear me. What is it you're here for? ...Don't you hold any resentment, after what I did to you and your mate? To your children..."

Sigh. I know she'll just stop after a while and go to bed once she starts crying a little...

Not today, though. What is she doing? She stands up, so quickly, it takes me by surprise, and starts doing things, moving her stuff around and making a lot of that strangeness that characterizes her. Things appear in the air, and I don't like this. Birds don't come out of nowhere, but this woman has things appearing all over her house! Plus, there's all this strange noise too, a rumbling as if dozens of sneaky moles were running under us! What is it...

"...you're doing?"

Wha...

I look down, and there are... human legs underneath me. Did a human appear out of nowhere? I try to step back, but I fall down instead! What is going on? I can't... control my body properly!

"What is... Human..."

"Calm down."

I look up, at that woman staring down at me. Did I just... understand what she said? Not just that, I... actually understand her words.

"What is this? That?"

Is that me talking like a human? What a strange thing! I feel my throat and mouth so different, and every part of my body, too, it... doesn't move like it used to.

"You... turned me human?"

I can't believe I am talking like a human, and... with the body of a human! Oh, why are they furless if they are so cold and their skin so strange! I feel like a dead fish! I keep moving around, trying to find some sort of balance, falling, and falling again. This is so annoying! I put my paws... hands down, and look up at that woman.

"What is this!"

"I needed to talk to you directly, and this is much more efficient," she says. "...Are you alright?"

"No! I'm... a human, how could that be alright!"

She rolls her eyes, a gesture that I know means she is unhappy. I don't care if she's unhappy, she is the one who turned me into a human! She moves and hands me a blanket.

"What is that for?"

"To cover yourself! You're naked."

"Well bring my fur back, then! I'm cold!"

"The blanket is for that. I promise I'll teach you how to turn back into a wolf once you answer my questions."

Oh, so she did this to me because she has questions to ask? This human woman is impossible! I didn't ask for her questions, but she turned me into a human just so she could ask them! What odd human way of thinking is that!

I grab the blanket and cover myself with it anyway, because I am cold and I miss my pretty, comfortable fur. Where did it even go, and how did she do that? I've seen her do that thing to my mate before, but I didn't realize how strange that is! I really feel terrible in another skin, why did my mate do that?

"What are you doing here?"

"I came here after my hunt and I sat here."

"No I mean why are you in my house, with me?"

"You opened the door for me!"

"That's not what I... Why do you always come back here, to be with me? Why do you spend time with me, why... don't you hate me?"

Now she has tons of questions! I liked it better when I couldn't understand her at all! She was noisy before but it's worse when I know why she makes all those noises...

"I do not hate you," I say. "I don't hate you. I don't understand why you want me to hate you. I don't hate, I'm a wolf."

"You must hold some sort of resentment!"

Resentment, what is that now? I try to think, and this... strange new human mind translates for me. Ah, anger, hatred. So many negative emotions... How do humans even come up with such thoughts? I feel like my whole head has expanded to many things I just didn't need, and now they are all annoyingly filling my head.

I have anger at the hare that manages to escape me, but it doesn't last. If it's gone, it's gone, what is the point about resentment? It's better to move on to the next prey. I still don't understand humans... I shake my head, and something moves on my shoulder... Oh, hair. Well, I still have some, then... It is the same color as my fur... I push it out of the way, a bit disturbed that it's so long and in one place rather than well distributed all around my body.

"Answer me!"

I growl back. Don't shout at me, or I'll bite you, human woman! She acts like an Omega trying to pass as an alpha, even dogs have a better attitude than that!

"I don't know what your resentment thing is," I say. "Your human ways are too complicated. I came here because we are two females alone. I came to look for my mate, but he is not with you. I don't know where he is, so I stayed. I don't have a reason to leave. You shared your food with me."

Oh, all those words come out flowing without me having to think much, which is new. The thinking, I mean, not all that loud words thing. I'm sure howling and growling is much more efficient, but now, I have so many words coming up, and so many thoughts... How do humans deal with all of this? I feel like all my usual basic needs have been... surrounded by dozens of others! How do they take care of all that? I thought humans were strange, but it turns out they have a lot of different needs to them, perhaps why they do so many strange things all day!

"You... don't know?" She mutters.

"Don't know what?"

Now that I am the one asking, she goes silent. Oh, humans, always so complicated! Nevermind. I look down on this strange body... Should I try to stand like her? I feel like a pup trying to find her balance, but this cannot be so complicated if they walk on two legs all day... Oh, indeed, it comes rather naturally. How funny, and... How tall! So this is how humans see the world, is it? Even the objects around me have changed... Or is it because of my eyes? I feel like I see more colors than before, but... How do they watch for enemies? I can only look up front and I have to turn my head so many times! So annoying... Do they not fear to be hunted at all?

"Then... why... Why are you here, staying with me?" She asks again. "Don't you have a... pack, or cubs?"

"No. I wanted to have a new pack with my mate, but he is gone. My pups have all grown and gone too. I don't need to mother them anymore."

It is strange though, how I suddenly miss my children. They should be all grown up and fine, but... I feel the need to see them again. Is that why female humans mother their offspring for so long? I had noticed they keep them for several winters, and their little ones are slow to grow too!

"What did my mate like about being human?" I ask, struggling to formulate my thoughts?

*Mara!*

"What?"

"What?"

She stares at me oddly.

What did I just... Did I hear something? It didn't come from this woman, but I felt like... Did I forget something? I feel like I... Or, maybe I... I can't tell... What was that again? Did it... say something? What was that strange... word...

No, it must be this strange human body again. I need to adapt to it better...

"He liked that we could... discuss," she says. "He was curious about us, humans. About my powers as a witch. Your mate wanted to find ways to understand humans, to protect you... to protect the wolves."

"What is a witch? Is that a hunter?"

Oh, no the words don't match. It's strange having a vocabulary, yet a lot of words just come out as I think, not because I actually understand them... so, so strange. She sighs, and gets up, crossing her arms.

"I am a witch, a human with... special abilities. I was born with it, and it makes me stronger than the humans."

"Why aren't you the Alpha of your pack then? Why don't you have a pack?"

"Human packs are different fromthan wolves. They fear the stronger ones, so they... cast them out of their packs. I've never been with a human group for long, they avoid me."

"Humans are truly too strange and illogical. Did he succeed?"

"What?"

"My mate. Did he find a way to protect the wolves from the human hunters? Is that why he left? Don't you know where he went?"

Her strange skin suddenly changes color, going whiter. She looks down like a wolf showing submission. I haven't tried to attack her, though. She slowly shakes her head, another gesture I don't really understand.

"N-no, he... He couldn't. I... I made him change into a man, a human man so he could... see and understand humans better, but he... he wanted to be stronger and find ways to fight hunters off your territory. He... He didn't succeed."

I feel sad. Did my mate leave to find another way, then? Did he find another human, or decided to stay with them instead? I don't think so... I've seen a lot of human groups and he wasn't with them. Everything brings me back here instead. I don't understand.

"...Do you want me to teach you?"

"Teach me?"

"How to be powerful... How to be a witch. If I can... give you my powers, you'll be stronger, like your mate wanted. This way, you can... do what he wanted, and we can stay together."

"I don't understand. You said my mate didn't succeed."

"I can make you a witch! Witches are only... females, that's why your mate didn't succeed in what he wanted to do."

"...Will my mate come back if I become a witch?"

She takes a deep breath.

"We... we can try," she says. "If... If you become a witch like me, and we are both powerful enough, then... perhaps... Perhaps we can make your mate come back."

*Mara!*

I turn my head. ...Who is calling me? No, they're not calling me, that's not my... What is my name? Oh, I'm a wolf. I don't have a name. Why did I think this was my name...?

"What's my name?" I ask the human.

"I don't know. I mean, you're a wolf... you probably don't have one."

"I see... What is your name then? Humans have names?"

"Yes... My name is Luna."

"Alright then, I like it."

"What?"

"That name. You can call me that?"

She makes a strange sound with her mouth.

"That's my name, you can't take it!"

"Why not? I don't have one and you do. It doesn't go come away from you, either. If you could have shared your food, you can share your name. So I'll be Luna too."

She lets out a long sigh.

"I feel like you'll have a long way to understand being a human before being a witch..."

"You're the one who made me one, aren’t didn't you? So now, teach me so we can make my mate come back, Luna."

"I understand... Luna."

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*Author Note: Thank you for reading, leave a (preferably nice?) comment if you will! ^-^