95-Fallout Shelter

**PIPPA**

I have invited the neighbor kids to spend Saturday with me. This worked out, with Lilly *and* Xaver.

Xaver, still in Chile, and on his way to a meeting, had given me a hurried, “yeah sure” when I had asked if he didn’t mind me having the children over.

Lilli had been more hesitant. She had a double shift at the airport and wouldn’t be able to pick them up. When I had told her they could spend the night, she had sounded so grateful, I was embarrassed. I should have helped her more after I had moved in with Xaver.

Being a single mother is no joke.

*Like you’ll probably be.*

Too bad I have to wait to find out.

With his quick departure, I couldn’t tell Xaver the two things I promised myself I would.

I had come from the bathroom to find he was already packed with one foot out of the door. His hasty explanation of why he and Alfonso had to go to Chile left no time for a lengthy discussion.

I guess it is good he is gone as I see his departure as a much-needed respite. It gives me the chance to be pragmatic concerning my pregnancy news.

In case I have to prepare for the worst-case scenario.

I have decided that if Xaver doesn’t want to have anything to do with us, then I will disappear and never contact him again. Same if he proposes a pity marriage. If he is sincere in his want of me, *and me alone*, I would happily be his wife.

Otherwise, I would rather *be* alone.

Then there is my second promise—Julia’s news. Her rumor, by my standards has yet to be confirmed. That is why I am headed to Medici’s this evening to meet Sophia, Sonia’s sister. I am going to do everything in my power to gleam information from her.

I had planned to get in touch with her after the weekend, but it just so happened she called the office in a panic, looking for Xaver.

I had told her who I was and offered to help. She took me up on my offer right away. I suggested meeting at Medici’s, and since the restaurant is only a few blocks from her apartment, she had agreed to meet me there.

I am the first to arrive and I am seated right away. The garlic smell doesn’t bother me, now that my morning sickness phase seems to be over.

Sophia walks in a few minutes later. Despite wearing sunglasses, which cover the bridge of her nose up to the bangs of her hair, I recognize her right away. There is no mistaking her large, pregnant belly and the shape of her mouth. I know her face, or rather, that of her sister’s, very well.

Since Xaver’s been away, I have… discovered pictures of Sonia in his office.

The little leather album was worn, like it had been handled often. At the time, I wondered when he had last looked at it.

A second later, I became disgusted by my jealousy. Xaver had every right to keep his memories; same as I had a right to keep mine in my keepsake box.

I stand and go to her. After introducing myself, I lead her to our table in a brightly lit section by the window.

She hesitates. “Um… do you think it’s possible to sit over there?” She points to an area away from most of the patrons, in a dark part of the restaurant.

I glance over to the owner. “Let me ask Tom if it’s okay to switch.”

Speaking from experience, wait staff don’t like working a closed section. That means more cleaning up. More prep. More hassle.

As a favor for spreading the word about his restaurant through The Sayle Group newsletter, Tom agrees to serve us himself.

We slide into the booth. Sophia has yet to take off her sunglasses. I am surprised she is wearing them. We have had nothing but rain since Xaver left, five days ago.

And how I miss him.

Our conversations have been daily, but rushed. We barely get in our ‘how’s it going’ stories before he has to end the conversation. Texts between us have been even more sporadic.

*I miss him...*

Tom comes to the table. Sophia gives him only a quick glance when I make the introductions. Puzzled, he hands us our menus, saying he’ll be back for our drinks orders.

“So, you’re Xaver’s girlfriend. And you live together?”

I confirm this.

“You are his new PA, right?”

I nod, trying to read the person behind the shield on her face.

She asks me sharply, “Do you love him?”

I’m taken aback by her tone* and* her question. Like the Accounting department, does she have a stake in how we turn out?

My tone is frosty as I say, “I don’t quite know where this is going. You wanted to discuss something with Xaver I take it? Maybe you should wait until he gets back.

Phone service has been spotty where he is at, but I will tell him you called.”

I rise from my seat, intent on leaving.

At this point, I am more than a little irritated with Sophia. She is acting like she is too good to associate with anyone, and I won’t stand for someone I just met snipping at me.

My heart goes out to Xaver. Sonia, who he had admitted didn’t get along with anyone must have been hell to put up with. If her sister is any indication, he must have suffered a lot.

“I’m sorry. Please sit. I have no one else to talk to. Craig… he chased my friends away.” Sophia reaches for her sunglasses with trembling hands. When she takes them off, everything falls into place.

Her left eye is a rainbow of color.

Someone had hit her. Someone hit a pregnant woman.

What piece of low-life crap does that?

I can make an educated guess.

“Did your husband do that to you?”

She cries, holding her hands in front of her face to catch her tears.

Tom comes over. I plead with my eyes for him to leave. He does so, without asking a million questions.

*I wish all men had such intuitive actions.*

As Tom walks away, I go to sit by Sophia, wrapping an arm around her. She continues to cry and my silent empathy dissipates my initial dislike.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry… I needed someone to talk to, besides my parents. My dad… he isn’t well, with his heart, and my mom is stressed enough as it is. I haven’t let them see me like this. My son… oh, my baby… h-he saw Craig hit me. His own father. I… I— “

She cries harder.

I *hold* her tighter and dig through my cavernous purse for a packet of tissues with one hand, refusing to let her go.

When I find them, I use a firm tone to say, “Here, dry your eyes and tell me what happened.”

When I told Jenna my reason for leaving Texas, she reached me, speaking with such a voice. I hope I can reach Sophia in the same way.

It works.

She removes her hands from her face, which has turned a blotchy red. Her nose is runny and her mascara smeared. Worse, he has broken her spirit. Living through beatings before, I can tell. Those feelings of betrayal and shame and guilt hang around a long time.

Perhaps forever.

“Craig thought I was kidding when I didn’t pick him up at the airport on Sunday. He called, ranting... cursing me to hell and back. I talked over him, for the first time in years. I told him to have one of his side pieces pick him up because I was done. He damn near broke his vocal cords when I said I had gotten a lawyer and moved out.”

I silently applauded her for having the courage to do so. I was in college with nowhere to go when my stepfather upped his game on me. I took his abuse for two years until he almost killed me. It took all my inner strength to leave for the unknown.

That is why I am alive today.

Sophia continues, removing a fresh tissue from the pack and dabbing at her eyes, “He demanded to know where I was. He wanted to see Marco, even though, in all the weeks he had been away, he had only spoken to him three times.” She waves her hands before her face, cooling down her hot tears. I pat her back in what I hope is a soothing manner.

“I would not keep him away from his son, no matter what we were going through, so I agreed. We met in front of the library Marco likes. The one near Jersey street? It was far enough away not to lead him back to the apartment if things went sour. I figured I could lose him in a cab.”

She blows her nose then hides the used one in her coat pocket. “Turns out, that is what I had to do. While Marco was in the children’s section, Craig and I talked in between some book stacks. He kept asking me to come back. I kept telling him no. I must have done so once too often…”

Grabbing another tissue, she takes a few shuddery breaths and continues, “I-I fell against the bookcase. Marco came around the corner, crying. He had seen what happened. Craig pushed him so hard, he fell. He has never struck us before…” She pauses for a few moments and then blinks in disbelief. “What kind of man did I marry? What kind of man does that? To his wife? His son? His own flesh and blood?”

The world is full of men like that. Husbands become fathers but in name only. Some men are happy to spread their seed around, they just have no clue or initiative to raise what is theirs.

“They are out there, unfortunately.”

Sophia scoffs. “Tell me about it. I got the grand prize!” She lets out a watery giggle. “I should have known what Craig was like. How he would be. He had to have gotten his ways from someone, right?”

Sophia goes on, filling in the pieces of her puzzle. “I’d met his parents a week before the wedding, and I saw how his dad treated his mom.” She closes her eyes and shakes her head as if the thought disturbs her. “Despicable. The woman didn’t dare speak unless her husband was across the room. I even saw him pinch her once.”

She puffs out a breath. “Damn, am I stupid.”

“Don’t blame yourself, Sophia. Love will lead you to make many bad decisions.”

Like keeping secrets, my mind snarks.

Not for long. Xaver will know everything as soon as he gets back.

“Yeah, I have made bad ones all right. I have kept things back. I have lied to a good man. For years.”

Was she having an affair? She didn’t seem like the type, but then again, who knows what goes on behind closed doors.

She must have seen something in my face. Something that tells her it’s okay to lay some heavy shit on me.

“Xaver is that good man, Pippa. He has helped me get an apartment. He has promised me a job when I’m ready. He has taken care of Marco and me financially these last few weeks and… I need to come clean.”

I shrink away from her.

Have she and Xaver been having an affair?

Horror at what she is hinting at covers my face.

She quickly rushes on, aware of my distress. “He doesn’t know my sister… my dead sister… cheated on him with my husband. Xaver wasn’t the father of her child. Craig was.”

Julia hadn’t lied.

My heart falters at how hurt Xaver will be.

That gets quickly snuffed out by the worry I feel at being the one to tell him.