Chapter 220

Zara's POV

"Ahhh..." I grunt before my eyes fluttered open, the light stabbing into my eyes like a blade. My head pounded. I tried to sit up, but my body felt heavy and uncooperative. As my vision cleared, I saw Keith resting lazily on the door frame of the room, looking so sexy like a man-god, his appearance reminded me of the day, he asked that I paint him, those were the only good moments we had together when my gaze fall on his face, his expression twisted in disgust.

“Finally awake, huh?” he sneered, his lips curling in a way that made my stomach churn. His eyes were always cold and unforgiving but they never bothered me before now. I don't think that is the case today, the scowl on his face was enough to show that he was mad at me and I was developing cold feet

My throat was dry, my voice came out guttural. “What... what happened?”

“Now you are going to ask? Did you ever think before you act? You've been out for two days,” he replied, his voice laced with irritation. Although he was fighting hard not to snap at me it's not working, “And let me tell you, it’s been a nightmare.”

I struggled to put the piece together. My memories weren't letting it, it always ended up when I accepted the rejection from Harris. “Two days?”

“Yeah, two days of you lying there, lifeless. Two days of me wondering if you were ever going to wake up. And now, here you are like nothing happened.”

I winced at the harshness in his tone, a sinking feeling of guilt mingling with my confusion, and then my lips twitched. Was he worried for me? I noticed that glimpse of worry in his words. “I’m sorry... I didn’t know.”

“Of course, you did know what it means to reject someone and you pushed yourself into that line again,” he snapped. “You never think about anyone but yourself, how could you fucking ask for rejection when you know the consequences.”

Now this is getting funny, is he going to be mad at me for giving Harris rejection? Of course, I can't be with two men, and I am going to pick one, even if the other is not willing to take me. Maybe, I would have picked Harris if Clair, my beautiful innocent sister wasn't here but she is here, so I am going to choose this beast, that always hurts me and blows cold and hot at the same time. I need to find out if he is going to accept me or not. Whatever his decision I am going to accept it or maybe I could push more, so I could have him

I tittered suddenly and his attention rested on my face, and his disgust deepening on his face, "What is funny?" He scoffed.

"You are, didn't you give me rejection as well even when I didn't ask for it, did you care?" He ruffled his hair as he huffed.

"Zara, I care, I have always cared and been possessive of you, I know I wanted you, I desire you from the moment that I watch you take off your clothes in front of me, your lips, your hair, your every features drive me nuts, why do you think I married you at the civic bureau? Why do you think I didn't want you to get to eighteen before I forced you to become my wife, I was afraid you would meet your mate and that would leave me nowhere..."

"But you rejected me when you found out that I was your mate..." His shoulders drop and his hand rake his hair, leaving them disheveled making him look super handsome. My core tingles but I shake the thoughts off my head.

"I was stupid and mad at you, blaming your innocent father for things he didn't do, acting like a Savage Alpha, I thought I could break your father by breaking you, but I couldn't get my heart to stop longing for you, when I rejected you that night, I expected you will refuse the rejection but you accept it, I felt my ego bruised and I felt that I will be failing my father, if I give in to the mate bond, I didn't want that but I still didn’t want to lose you, I know you will want to get out of the Packhouse after rejection, so I thought of reminding you that we are still married..." I look at him without emotions. "...did you know how many fucking times I called nanny..." He paused again, "my mother, asking if you are okay, I couldn't even sleep that night, Storm was killing, he hated me for rejecting you, he wanted to take the pain, but I was stubborn, I didn't want you to know that I have a soft spot for you..."

"You never treated me well..."

"I am sorry, I didn't know how to behave with you, there is one part of me hankering for you, wanting me to keep you and claim you but there is another part of me, wanting me to punish you for the sin your father didn't commit. I want to see you as the daughter of my enemy, I wanted to break the man that shattered my dreams and killed my father, but I couldn't I long for you, and every time, I see you..." He shut his eyes, "I spot a hard on my pants even when you are completely groomed and I want to grab you, throw you on my bed, strip you of every wear covering your delicate skin, leave you nude on my bed while I ravish your body with my tongue and fingers, but I know I shouldn't do that because you are still my enemy daughter and I have obligations I thought I have to fulfill to Serena because I thought she is the female, I..." He shakes his head the last part was difficult for him to take, he swallowed hard, before he continues, "when Lucian told me, he finds the female of the previous night, my heart shrink because I was hoping it was you, but it turns out wrong, I wanted to compensate Serena, with Luna's position because I couldn't give her, my heart and body. They are craving you. You are the only female that has driven me to the edge, you have my heart and my soul. Did you know how bad I felt when I realized that you could not grow a single feeling for me apart from hatred? I know I am a demon, the one with the contagious bad luck. Everywhere I go, I walk with it, I couldn't even do anything right, you were too perfect for me but I still wish miracles could happen. I wish you could wake up one day and tell me, you love me and that you can't live without me, even though I was nothing close to an angel, I was a demon with a complete package, one not deserving to love, I banished you, I pushed you away but I was shattered when I found out that you had fall of that cliff and met your demise, I went crazy, I wanted to turn back the hand of time, I wanted to forgive you even when you slept with Kane, you let that bastard fuck you..."

I interrupted him, "I wasn't sleeping with Kane, he was my friend and my crush but I couldn't sleep with him, I couldn't let him fuck me, even when my heat was at the brink and my body wasn't helping, my conscience was still fogging me, that I shouldn't let Kane, take me, and when he grabbed me and pulled me into the bathroom, I told him, I couldn't do it because you will kill me, if you found out I give myself to another..."

"So you didn't do it because you were scared of what I would do to you, not because you couldn't stand any male touching you apart from me?" His voice breaking. Hurt and pain came flushing on his face and I could see the hurt in Storm's eyes as he was already at the surface, I parted my lips to say something but I shut them almost immediately, "I know I am a terrible person and I hurt you, I hurt your father, and I am the cause of his death, if I didn't lock him up, my uncle wouldn't have poisoned him and force him to leave a suicidal note, I did a lot of bad things, things I am not proud of. I sin against you, against my daughter, your father, Clair, Kimball, and my mother who I thought was my nanny instead of my mother, I know I got the connection but I couldn't acknowledge it because I am a monster, I don't deserve your sympathy yet you save me, why did you save me?"