Chapter 33 Death Of Me
This was not how Kian planned to reveal to Raina that he had been deceived for years. There was only a select group of people that knew of his suspicions and the extensive investigative research done to piece together a mystery. His circle of trust with this particular issue started with only one person — Sebastian.
It had slowly transitioned to his parents and their fated mates, because he had started asking questions about his childhood and adolescents. His parents grew concerned when he couldn’t remember bits and pieces. When he had come clean to them about his suspicions, they started to help with their own investigation and research.
Deidre even looked into his medical records to see if he was given any ‘medicine’ that seemed strange for him to take in his youth. His mother’s mate, Ace Lucas, had even started to counseling him and using techniques to help figure out these strange blocks in his memory. Ace, with the supervision of Deidre and Sebastian, performed hypnosis to uncover some unsavory details.
Raina’s cognac eyes met his and Kian’s heart twisted. How would she feel if she found out she could’ve put a stop all of it if she had just come clean all those years ago? If she had just bravely stood before him and let the natural process take effect, she would’ve been Luna.
Jacqueline had known, he realized belatedly. He remembered when she had strangely looked back and forth between him and Raina with a look of surprise when he confessed that Raina was only his Beta. He should’ve dug into that then, because he remembered the fear and panic that flash in Raina’s eyes. Why hadn’t he questioned her then?
Because he hadn’t thought that his fated mate would keep herself hidden that long.
“There’s a lot of things that I haven’t told you,” he finally confessed. His eyes continued to hold hers as she searched his. “I should’ve just told you from the beginning when I started having my doubts, but I didn’t want to be seen as stupid for not recognizing what happening.”
She swallowed thickly. “What have you been keeping from me?”
“I was betrayed and deceived since I was sixteen,” he told her. Her eyes widened in surprise at that. “I believe that I was spelled to fall hard for Mia.”
Her mouth dropped open. The shock robbed of her speech and he could understand why. He had been with Mia for years. Deidre had ran tests in his bloodstream to see if there were any residual effects leftover, but nothing hinted to the fact that he was poisoned by anything.
Yet again, he remembered Jacqueline asking him to return when he finally found out what being kept from him. She promised she would be able to help him them when the fog was lifted. She had told him it wasn’t the right time yet, but she expected him to visit her fairly soon so she could finally lift the veil fully. She said she was bound by blood and she couldn’t betray her family until they were ready to come clean.
Raina. She was talking about Raina, he finally realized. Raina was now her sister-in-law. Jacqueline could see things beyond what some wolves were gifted. She had the ability to see spiritual bonds and she had to have seen theirs quite clearly.
He shook his head, chuckling to himself. “It really is your fault,” he teased. She frowned at him, tilting her head to the side at his seemingly strange behavior. “If you had just revealed yourself at eighteen when you found out, all of this would’ve never happened. You would’ve been my Luna at the age of eighteen and we would’ve probably had pups by now.”
“What?” she gasped, shaking her head at that.
Her eyes searched his, no doubt trying to find any lie to what he revealed. He only smirked at that. He reached down, cupping the back of her head, and tugged her close until his mouth was on hers. He took her surprise to his advantage as he slipped his tongue into her mouth and let their tongues dance. His mouth and body had a mind of its own as he continued to tease out her instinctive reactions from her.
When she wasn’t thinking clearly, her body was quick to betray her. The way she instantly melted for him was enough for him to know the truth. He pulled away from her and gently tugged her up into a sitting position.
“As much as I want to stay in this bed with you,” he said, causing her to blush at his honesty. “We need to talk this over. If I’m going to force your secrets from you, you are owed mine too. I’ll mindlink someone to prepare us something to eat and I’d like to show you something.”
He remembered the first day he saw her when she was being trained by Sebastian and the Gammas. He had just stayed on the outskirts of the mat like he usually did and just watched the progression, letting his Beta and Gammas do the job he trusted them to do.
He watched the wild fierceness in Raina’s eyes as she stood defiantly against her much larger opponent. She didn’t flinch, just stood tall with so much confidence. She had an Alpha’s defiance and she moved so elegantly with precision that she could’ve been mistaken as an elvish warrior. When she had used her swiftness and momentum against her opponent, she towered over him victoriously.
That was when he knew he had found his Beta in the form of an eighteen year old girl. He knew when she turned twenty that he would give her that honor. He had approached her months later when he couldn’t sleep and intended to go out for a night run. From that point on, he had made time to train her in secret until Sebastian caught on. Even after Sebastian had found out, he still continued to meet with her to train with her late at night. Sebastian even had started training her secretly as well. They had both agreed she would be the best candidate for his female Beta.
Sasha, the angel that she was, had packed a picnic basket for him. Sebastian had delivered it to him while Raina had taken a quick shower and was getting dressed. Sebastian had told him that the pond was gutted. All of things that he had installed for Mia there had been taken out of the pack house to a restaurant establishment that had a pond on their property. They had already transferred the koi back to the fountain in the courtyard and the pond had been drained. They had already started to pull up the plants and stones.
He wanted to install a greenhouse for Sterling’s work that was close by and he had a feeling that Raina would approve. Raina had often accompanied Sterling while she forged in the forest. He had watched the sisters at times return with baskets of herbs and plants. He had overheard them discussing some day having a large sprawling greenhouse to grow their own herbs and medicinal plants.
He had told her to dress casually and be prepared for a small walk. He wanted to show her that Mia’s essence would no longer haunt her, but he also wanted to show her at the very far end of the property was a place that her parents had been given. It was a cottage surrounded by their own gardens. They had used this place to grow their herbs and plants. It had been long forgotten over the years.
They had been walking through the hallways in the middle of night when nobody was around. He heard Raina’s gasp of surprise when she realized that the curtains were stripped down.
“Kian?” she questioned.
He shook his head. “Not yet.”
He tugged her along until they finally reached the area that Mia’s pond used to be. He had to drag his reluctant fated mate to witness the deconstruction of Mia’s most beloved area and yet again Raina gasped at the sight.
“I meant what I said,” he told her. “This is your home. This won’t be your coffin. This won’t be a beautiful place for you to die. This will become a beautiful place for you to live and thrive.”
Tears filled her eyes and she couldn’t help when some escaped. He watched as she pressed her hands to her cheeks, brushing the wetness from her skin. He knew this was overwhelming for her, but he had learned by now that she was the type that believed in actions over words.
He had a lot to do to earn her trust. He asked her to trust him and he was angry that she hadn’t trusted him to do right by her, but her heart had been shattered by him too many times to count. He had been so blinded by everything that he didn’t see what she truly meant to him.
Pretty words to pledge by were just pretty words. He needed to show her by his actions that he’d stand by her, that he wanted her, and that he needed her in his life. Maybe, then, she’d finally stand by him and their true bond.
“I was thinking that this place would serve as a great place for a greenhouse for your sister’s medicinal herbs and plants,” he told her and her eyes immediately went to his in awed surprise. “I overheard you and your sister talking about wanting a large greenhouse a few years back.”
More tears filled her eyes. “You-You overheard that?”
“Yes, I did.” He nodded. “I think this would be the perfect spot. She can keep it safe from the elements and any critters.”
“She would love this,” she admitted, her voice strained, breaking slightly from the emotion. “She wanted to follow in Mom and Dad’s footsteps so badly. It was always her dream to obtain more land.”
He smiled. “Good. Her contribution to the world of healing and her expertise will benefit the pack.”
“You didn’t have to do this,” she told him as he started to make his way out in the forest behind the pack house.
She grabbed his hand, stopping him from walking off. He glanced down and he changed the positioning of their hands so he could fully hold her hand. His eyes drifted up to hers and he held her gaze.
“I did actually.”
He watched her for a moment before he leaned down a pressed a kiss to her forehead. She swallowed, obviously not expecting him to do that. He grabbed her chin and lifted her face to steal a kiss from her.
“Kian,” she whimpered.
He smirked before he kissed her again before withdrawing from her. “C’mon, I have something to show you. It’s a little bit of a walk, but you can ride me if it gets too much.”
Sebastian had delegated some Deltas to check in at the cottage and to deem it safe earlier in the day. When he got the clear, he had sent some maids to get the cottage ready for his and Raina’s arrival. While the pack house was in a state of transition, he wanted to have this conversation with Raina privately without the entire pack house being able to hear them.
When they had argued earlier in the garden, it had circulated the pack house quickly. He had heard the whispers in the halls and he knew it had already reached town. He wouldn’t be surprised if it was already being discussed in other packs with how quickly technology allowed everyone to communicate.
“Ride you?”
He glanced down at her, noticing the blush staining her cheeks. Lust and desire in her eyes as she tried clear her mind, but her body betrayed her. His eyes drifted to the way her teeth nibbled at her bottom lip then dropped down to her hardened nipples poking out the fabric of her shirt. The way her hips swayed, fidgeting as she rubbed her thighs together. Since he didn’t have her scent to go off of, he had become fairly aware of her other cues.
It also helped when that low hum of pleasure buzzed in his veins, begging to flare into wildfire. He wanted to stoke those flames. He wanted her to let loose and forget about her insecurities and anxieties.
“Naughty little wolf,” he teased huskily. “I meant if you get tired, you can ride my wolf while I take you the rest of the way.”
Her eyes widened in embarrassment. “Of course. I knew that.”
She bowed her head, gazing down at her feet. He chuckled, once again he lifted her chin so he could look straight into her eyes.
“You can ride me however you want,” he told her, just before he kissed her.
His mouth slanted over hers as he drew out that side of her that she tried so desperately to control. The side of her that all shewolf that wanted her mate without restrictions or boundaries blocking her way. He could feel her building pleasure and he needed to get them to the cottage before he just stripped her down right now to show her how he truly he felt about her.
He groaned, ripping himself away from her. He shook his head, clearing his own mind. His intentions went to war with his desires.
“Damn it, Raina,” he growled as he loomed over her and his hands curled into the fabric of her shirt. His hands itched to rip that shirt off her body. “You’re driving me crazy.”
She moaned at his obvious issue with his self control. “You always drive me crazy.”
“You’re going to be death of me.”
He forced himself to stoop down to grab the picnic basket that had fallen at some point then grabbed her hand with his free hand. He pulled her along as he made his way to the back part of the pack house. He slowed his pace when they were finally on their way, weaving through the trees. Soon, the burning need finally eased into a manageable simmering heat.
They needed to hash this out first before they gave into what this bond blessed them with. That was promise to himself that he intended to keep.