Chapter 35 A game of queens
"What game would that be?"
"You want me gone. You want me out of the palace, away from court, away from Cardan. You think if I'm married off to some mortal, you'll have free rein to..."
"To what? To be a queen?" I laughed. "Elowyn, you're not thinking clearly. This isn't about getting rid of you. This is about giving you exactly what you've always wanted."
Her eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"
"Can't you see it? I didn't think you'd be this short sighted...."
She looked at me, with confusion etching into her features.
I sighed, then continued.
"The Crown Prince of Valdris is dying. Everyone knows it. The physicians give him three years at most. When he dies, his wife, his queen, will rule as regent until a new heir is chosen. And with Sebastian likely to inherit the throne eventually, the regent's position will be one of immense power and influence."
Elowyn was silent.
"You want a throne," I continued. "You've always wanted a throne. You should have been Queen of Aurelia, but the succession laws passed you over. Here, you'll always be the King's sister. The princess. The advisor. But in Valdris, you could be a queen. A real one. With real power. I think the humans will worship a Fae Queen."
"You're lying."
"I am not. I know you don't believe me capable of anything but scheming, but this is actually a good idea. For you. For Aurelia. For everyone. This settles our issues with the loans too. Don't you see?"
"If it's such a good idea, why did you suggest it?"
"Because I was trying to help you see reason. The human delegation is here. The loans are due. The borders are unstable. A marriage alliance solves multiple problems at once. And it gives you what you've always wanted, a crown." I tilted my head. "But you're too short-sighted to see it."
Elowyn's face was a mask of fury. But beneath the fury, I saw something else. Doubt. Uncertainty. The faintest glimmer of temptation.
"You're trying to manipulate me. I won't fall for it." she said.
"I'm trying to give you what you want. There's a difference."
"I don't believe you."
"That's your prerogative. But think about it. A throne of your own. A kingdom to rule. No more standing in Cardan's shadow, waiting for scraps of power. You could be a queen, Elowyn. The question is whether you're brave enough to take the chance."
I turned and walked away, leaving her standing alone beneath the golden canopy, her reflection fractured in a dozen gilded mirrors.
\-——————————————
The banquet continued into the afternoon.
I endured it. The sunlight. The glares. The whispers that followed me wherever I went. The lords who bowed stiffly and then hurried away. The ladies who curtsied with barely concealed sneers.
Only Sebastian stayed by my side, a warm and constant presence in the sea of cold courtesy.
"Tell me about Valdris," I said, partly to distract myself. "What's it like?"
"Different from here." He leaned back in his chair, his wine glass cradled in his hand. "Less gold. More stone. Our castle was built for defense, not beauty. It's old and gray and full of drafty corridors. But it's home."
"It sounds lovely. All that shadows and dullness."
"It is cold and damp really."
"That's what makes it lovely."
He laughed. "You'd like it, I think. The court is less formal than Aurelia. Less obsessed with tradition. My uncle encourages debate. Disagreement. He says a court that never argues is a court that's hiding something."
"Your uncle sounds wise."
"He is. He would have liked you." Sebastian paused. "He's the one who taught me to look beneath the surface. To see what people are hiding." His hazel eyes met mine. "What are you hiding, Queen Nyx?"
"Who says I'm hiding anything?"
"Everyone hides something. It's the nature of living in a court."
I considered the question. "I'm hiding how tired I am," I said finally. "How lonely. How much I miss my home."
"That's honest."
"You asked for honesty."
He reached out and, very gently, touched my hand. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For trusting me enough to tell me the truth."
I pulled my hand back. But not too quickly. "Don't read too much into it. I'm just tired of lying."
"Then stop lying. To everyone. Even yourself." He raised his glass. "To honesty. May it be less exhausting than deception."
I clinked my glass against his. "To honesty."
\---
That night, I returned to Cardan's chambers.
It had become a ritual, the silent undressing, the careful distance, the cold sheets and the colder silence. We slept in the same bed but never touched. We shared a room but never spoke. It was intimacy without intimacy. It was marriage without anything that made marriage real.
Tonight, though, something was different.
Cardan was already in bed when I arrived. But he wasn't asleep. He was propped against the headboard, a book in his hands, his bronze hair falling loose around his face. He looked up when I entered.
"The banquet was a success," he said. "Despite Elowyn's best efforts."
"Elowyn's efforts were the point. She wanted me to suffer. I did not."
"I noticed." His eyes flickered over me. "The parasol was a nice touch."
"My handmaidens' idea."
"Clever handmaidens."
"They're from Hel. Of course they're clever."
I slipped into the dressing room and changed into my nightgown. When I emerged, Cardan had set his book aside. He was watching me with an expression I couldn't quite read.
"What?" I demanded.
"Nothing."
"It's not nothing. You're staring."
"You look like a shadow," he said quietly. "When you're not trying. When you're just... you. You look like something from another world."
"I am from another world."
"I know." He paused. "Sometimes I forget."
I climbed into bed, keeping to my side. The sheets were cold. They were always cold.
"Elowyn asked me about the marriage alliance," I said. "After the banquet. She accused me of trying to get rid of her."
"And are you?"
"Maybe. But it's still a good idea."
"Good ideas and personal vendettas aren't mutually exclusive."
"They are when the vendetta is justified." I turned on my side to face him. "She's been scheming against me since I arrived. She's tried to humiliate me, isolate me, erase every trace of Hel from my own wedding. She's probably trying to have me assassinated. And yet I still suggested an alliance that would make her a queen. That's more than she deserves."
"It's more than most people would offer their enemies."
"I am not most people."
"No," he agreed. "You're not."
The silence stretched between us. But it was different tonight. Less hostile. More... contemplative.
"Can I ask you something?" Cardan said.
"You can ask."
"Why did you suggest the marriage alliance? Really?"