Chapter Thirty-Eight

Iris:

I felt like my heart had been carved out the next day. When the twins came to check up on me, I could not even bring myself to open the door for them. They left after a while, understanding that I needed to be alone.

They were not the one my heart was craving for. I was supposed to deal with a half-formed bond and denied urges by myself for the next six months.

That brought about a fresh bout of tears which someone interrupted by banging loudly on my door.

“I know you are in there Iris.” Finn voice sounded. “I know that you are crying and quite frankly, I will not stop you, but you must be hungry, but I brought Ice cream, something you can use for your pity party of one…”

Before he finished talking, I was already throwing the locks off my door to welcome my best friend into the room, he really deserved that title, I thought as I snatched the tub from his arms, a very large one at that.

“So, I guess it is just what the doctor ordered?” He asked with a grin, but I gave a snort at his evasive way of making me smile.

It didn’t work, I felt like I could not breathe well not to talk of smiling these period.

“The doctor ordered my mate, but this is what I get to have instead.”

“So, I guess the edict is out?” Finn asked, his voice held just a hint of pity even though he tried his best to cover it up knowing that I would hate it if he showed any sign of that.

“Yes, the edict is out Finn. The whole council came to impress on me how serious it is.” I rolled my eyes. “They said they would punish Cirdan if I try to disobey, they have effectively tied my hands behind my back.”

“You can use your legs…” Finn started but I shook my head.

“I can’t risk it. I can’t be the reason why Cirdan would be in danger, and I still would not be able to be him, I would go crazy with worry knowing that I would cause Cirdan pain.”

“You are sounding lovesick, it is annoying.” Finn stated instead and when I turned my face to him with a glare, he raised his hands up in a submissive gesture. “Hey, don’t shoot the messenger, just wanted to tell you how you were acting.”

“Is it so bad that I miss him Finn?” I sighed, sitting back on my bed.

“He is your mate, if you don’t miss him, who else are you going to miss, your mother?” Finn scoffed at the idea. “It’s okay to miss him Iris, just don’t let it consume you, you will see that it gets easier with time.”

“Really?” I asked skeptically.

“Well, I don’t really know, I don’t have a mate beside is that not what they all say. Time heals everything?” Finn returned and I cracked a smile at his attempt.

He didn’t know what to do with sad me. I had a feeling that he always didn’t know what to do with me, like I am a learning process, but he still chose to stick close to me while I learned. “How am I supposed to fill that time so that I am not tempted?”

“You still have me, I will do my best to distract you with not just my gorgeous body but also my witty personality, you have no chance, in fact at the end of your force vacation from each other, you might even want to choose me over your mate.”

“In your dreams Fae.”

“I am counting on it.” He returned and I shook my head at him.

“Thank you Finn, for being such a good friend. I am not sure what I would do or how I would try and act normal if I got to lose you too. Thanks for being there and for offering your services even more so.”

Finn smiled. “Does this mean that you are already considering me for the mate position?” He ducks as I sent one of my shoes flying his way. “Yep, I am totally a shoe in, I can already see the love.”

I laughed out this time, he did surprise me with his commentary. I slowly turned my head back to my tub of ice cream, so I barely saw his face twisted into a grimace, I jerked my head back to him to see if I saw the expression well, but his face was normal like always, a half cocky smile like he knows he is good looking and good company and he enjoys being the center of attention.

“What?” He asked when he saw me staring.

“Nothing.” I shook my head. “I could have sworn that I saw…” I trailed off not knowing how to place my words. “Nothing.” I gave him a strain smile and turned back to my tub, this time locking my aura in so he would not suspect what I was trying to keep from him even as my mind dismissed the possibilities.

Like what could Finn possibly feel guilty about?

“So is that the only thing that is on ground, because there have been rumors…” Finn started sitting close to me. “I mean there is already a tub of ice cream here, let’s just gist like girls at sleepovers only I will not be sleeping over and I am a boy, but you will be confirming the rumors I heard…”

“Rumors?” I asked, feeling lost. “There are still rumors about me?”

“There will always be rumors about you darling girl, although this time I am not referring to the bad ones but the good ones. I mean I know that you should not be feeling pressured to tell anybody this right now, but I am one of your closest friends…”

Finn was winding up a very long speech and the ice although it made sense then, it seems to make more sense now. “Yes I am engaged to Cirdan, he proposed… well kind of.”

“There is not kind of in proposal, He did or didn’t.”

“He did and didn’t.” I responded slowly, not knowing how to place my answer.

“Did he get on his knee?” Finn demanded, when I nodded he asked. “Did he give you a ring?” I also nodded.

“My little girl is all grown up.” Finn grinned and I smiled at his reaction. “Now don’t think that you can escape it, where is the ring?” He asked as he pulled out his own spoon from his pocket and dug into the ice cream. I stared at him in shock.

“What?”

“Finn!”

“Don’t tell me that you were not expecting that Iris, this is me that we are talking about.”

I nodded then; I should be expecting that. “The ring.” He commented with his mouth full of my ice cream. I sighed as I stood up. The quicker he got to see the ring, the quicker I can steal my ice cream back with his attention occupied somewhere else.

Maybe this was what he was guilty of, the fact that he was bringing it up. I felt a little glad that this was all there was to it.

I wished I had known better then.