CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
BLAKE’S POV

“We decided that the color blue should be the major theme. The dark blue should sit in front, and while every other shade of blue should line behind the throne and over the tables. More of the linen should look within a softer blue shade, but what do you think?” Darian had said.

Somehow, I heard it but I didn't hear it.

My mind was elsewhere.

To my greatest surprise, all I could think about today was the face of the girl I rejected the night of that party. Her pleading eyes kept ringing in my memories, and my wolf wouldn't stop whining every time it remembered.

I tried every single thing to blot it out. From increasing my Saturday morning routine exercises, to reading a bit longer than I usually do, to indulging myself in frivolous conversations such as this, because I had no business in the planning of the decorations of my coronation.

It was why I had a committee, and my mom headed it.

But today I wished to join her and take part of it, just in case I could do anything whatsoever to get my mind off the young lady. But it was all fruitless.

Currently, I pictured she and Adam having a conversation, casually living in the moment, that looked like they were mates.

The thought of it alone caused a part of my blood to boil. But I had to keep reminding myself that I rejected her and she was a matrix.

A matrix will not do well for the pack. The matrix specie were weaklings. A matrix was the major target for opponents.

She couldn't shift. I had no business with a mate who couldn't shift. What if it came to a war? I knew that I'm supposed to defend my mate, but she's also supposed to be able to defend herself when I am not there.

Once again, I cursed the gods for mating me with such a wolf, like there weren't better options within the pack.

"Blake, are you there?" my mom called out to me for the second time today during this meeting. I'm very sure she had noticed how absent-minded I was.

June also sat across me on the table. Occasionally, I noticed her eyes looking at me, confused, sometimes worried.

"Yes, I am. Sorry, what did you say?" I said to the designer, indicating I needed her to repeat her words.

"I think that'll be enough for today." my mom called out. The designer looked to me and to my mom, wondering if it was safe for her to obey my mother's instruction over mine.

"We could have the conversation later this evening or tomorrow. I'll let you know when. Have a lovely day, Darian." My mom added again to the designer.

After looking to me and I gave no objections, she passed me a bow and bowed to everyone at the table and then walked out.

"June, could you excuse us for a moment?" my mom said to her.

She looked between me and my mom, severally. More worried that there was something going on she had no idea about. Little did she know, my mom also had no idea whatever is going on with me.

But June obediently excused herself. One of the many traits that I found admirable. Her ability to stand back when she was asked to.

Now, the room remained just us and the guards. My mother didn't need to do much to let the guards excuse us as well. As June was leaving, they followed right behind her; realizing it was a conversation they needed to be away from.

"And what has been wrong with you, young man?" she asked, intending to be very rude about it, by the way.

"Nothing. I just feel a bit off."

"You feel a bit off? In what aspect? Are you sick?”

“I don't get 'sick’ mom. And you know.” It was part of the perks of being an Alpha.

“Then what exactly is wrong with you? Since yesterday, you have been different.”

"Well, I have been quite busy, so I don't know what you mean by different. I haven't taken time to notice how different I am."

"Blake, do not joke with me.”

“I do not know what you are referring to, mom.”

“The designer had spent over thirty minutes explaining her plan and what she intended for your coronation, and you heard nothing about it.”

"I heard something.”

“Like what?”

“We were going to use the color blue.”

“Okay, what shade?”

“All of them." She looked taken aback because, indeed, I was right.

I did hear that part, although I heard nothing else after that, or before that, or during that.

Just know I heard the color blue anyway.

"What is wrong with you, Blake?" She was my mother, and there was no need hiding anything from her. She was the only person I had grown up with.

Regardless, one of the strongest Lunas the pack had ever seen.

When my dad died and I was fourteen, she took over, saying I was too young to ascend the throne, but it was too risky to hand the throne to anyone else. So she led the pack.

Survived one war attempt and two assassination attempts, while raising me simultaneously and taking the pack to the greatness you see now.

She is the reason I couldn't take the matrix as a mate to become the Luna. My mother was a role model to many other wolves in this community, and the matrix was going to water that down.

I could not dampen her legacy like that.

And not only that, she was the only one who had been my confidant for many years.

"You are right about Adam.”

“When you say I am right, do you mean when I say he's intelligent or the fact that he's courting your mate?”

“Adam is not intelligent.”

“Oh, please put aside your beef and accept the truth. The fact that you deny the first one means it’s because he's courting your mate.”

“Yes.”

“And why is that all of a sudden bother to you?”

“That's what I cannot explain.”

“You rejected her…”

“Because she's a matrix.”

“Then you should learn to move on.”

“I want to. I wish to. My wolf doesn't.”

“Well, your wolf would not. Your wolf would never.”

“That is not encouraging.”

“I'm not trying to encourage you. I'm trying to make you understand the situation. Your wolf would never move on. Learn this and learn peace. But, you could try your best.”

“What if he succeeds?” thinking about Adam’s breeding attempt.

“You don’t want him to succeed? That’s selfish.”

“It would only be a little better to me if she dies off; then my wolf accepts reality. What if he succeeds and she actually makes it, and I get to see her live with someone else?”

“You aren't considering the fact that June could also be someone else's mate?”

“June is a year younger than me, and she's yet to be mated. I doubt she will find her mate again.”

“And have you marked her?”

“No.”

“Exactly. June still has the possibility of finding her mate.”

When my mom brought up the talk about being marked, I imagined Athena being marked by Adam.

It got me angry again. I dragged my hand across my face. And I said, “I think I'll move past it eventually, but currently it's just present and exhausting.”

“It's not been too long. Your wolf will get used to her absence eventually. Take mine for instance.”

“Your mate died.”

“It’s all the same to our wolves. death or rejection.”